If the following did not exist, it would be much easier for me to stay thin:
1) beer
2) cheese
3) bacon
4) brownies
5) bagels
6) french fries
7) wheat thins
Cheetohs
9) wine
10) pasta
(the diet is actually going well, I just think about food a lot)



















I could live on a diet of those 10 things and die happy. Except I’d have to substitute donuts for bagels. Now that’s my kind of diet!
Ah, yes. We’d be fat and happy. And drunk.
I’d have to pass on the Cheetohs though, they make me heave
If you have three 100 calorie packs, they are no longer 100 calories. Cheese makes me very happy. As does bacon. As does beer. Wait. As does everything on that list.
I always call my 100 calorie packs “70 calorie packs” because I usually give The Goon Squad all of my ritz.