So, we got (here) to Orlando, and Bill was tanning. Yes, Bill is getting a makeover. Bill and Jeff were tanning, then they went to the mall and no one else is here yet. So, Gabe and I got some Duffy’s subs (you are jealous if you’ve ever lived in East Orlando), we bought some [...]

Today, Gabe and I leave for the soulless city – Orlando, Florida. The Goon Squad will be hanging out at home with their Nonny and Papa, who are graciously flying about 1000 miles to babysit for the weekend. Grandparents are wonderful. Jeff and Bill flew in on Thursday, so they will have a nice head [...]

1) Ian will eat anything. I mean anything. He has eaten anchovies, olives, calamari, feta cheese, raw onion, cat food… the list is astounding. 2) Ian has huge feet. 3) Ian falls down a lot. 4) Ian thinks sneezing is funny. 5) Ian’s middle name is Michael – for my brother, Mike. 6) Ian is [...]

1) Claudia uses every toy she has as a telephone. She just walks around with anything up to her ear and pretends to talk. “Hi Da. Yeah? Yeah?” 2) Claudia’s middle name is Kate. Kate is her Aunt’s first name. 3) Claudia is two minutes younger than her brother. 4) I’m pretty sure Claudia speaks [...]

I hesitate to even mention it. I don’t want to curse anything by drawing attention to it, but 2 – 0! Carnell Williams looks good. I’m nervous to even talk about it. It’s been quite a while since the Bucs have had a decent running game. I was listening to Michael Clayton’s local sports talk [...]

This morning I went to the dentist. I drive all the way across town to go to him, because he tells me I have pretty teeth, and I’m a sucker for that sort of thing. But that is not the point. The point is that I left the house at 10:03. I finished at the [...]

Here are a few more excerpts from real e-mails from my real friends. These are not internet friends. These are people I actually know. Scary, huh? I’m predicting a SF Bay area SuperBowl: 49ers vs. Raiders My son just said, “Do you remember when Justin & I had an underwear band, & we weared underwear [...]

When I did the post about Eric earlier, I forgot to tell you something else about him. A traitor to his parents, Eric decided to root for USF this weekend. His plan was to sit with Gabe and “woot for South Flowida”. On the way home, way past this kid’s bedtime, he says out of [...]

As he was leaving our house on Sunday, Eric, who is four years old said “Bye Ian. It was nice playing with you.” There was a slight pause before he said, “Claudia is the meanest”.

It was awful. I mean – we had a great time, and they had to open up the upper bowl because there were so many people there, but USF kicked our ass. The score ended up being 31 – 14, but believe me, it wasn’t that close. This is me (half sneering/half laughing) with my [...]