Housekeeping and complaining

This oddly has nothing to do with me actually cleaning my house or complaining about cleaning my house.

I have alphabetized all of my links. Now I may appear more organized. (It is all a ruse)

Check out my debut Wednesday morning on PIRATE MONKEY ZOMBIES. It is my first attempt at playing critic. I will talk about one of the highlights of children’s programming, The Backyardigans.

This whole “pythons eating alligators in the Everglades” thing is really freaking me out. I’m afraid to go to South Florida now. AND the stupid snake in my bushes is back. I’d feel a lot better if we could all NOT talk about snakes for a couple of days, okay?

And while I’m complaining, can’t we all agree that David Spade is NOT funny? I’m canceling my Capital One credit card until they stop making those commercials.

Here is something that I won’t complain about. The Goon Squad is sleeping for no reason in the middle of the day. I think I’m going to try to actually get something done (besides blogging).

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  1. Capital One is in trouble for more than just David Spade. Apparently they’ve shamelessly reamed many many customers. Another good reason to get rid of your Capital One card.

    Drop some ping pong balls in your backyard for the snake. Farmers’ tale says they think they’re eggs and choke on them.

    I have my links in an odd sort of order, based on geographic location. I can’t explain why I do this, but it works for me.

  2. Steve,

    I tried that with moth balls, and it seemed like the sanke went away for awhile, but it seems to be back. I don’t know why he loves my bushes so much . I must have mice too.

    Ick.

    I’m on my way to look at your links. That sounds kind of OCD to me.

  3. Until recently, Jeromy’s dad was a boat captain at Everglade’s National Park – where the snakes are eating the alligators. He still lives right down the road. Now I’ll never get you to visit the next time we’re in town.

  4. Not a chance in hell.

    You already know how I feel about “outside”.

    Excpet for the beach, of course. Or a lake.

    Rivers are still scary.

  5. Just get some gorillas to put in your backyard. The gorillas will kill the snakes then all you have to do is wait for winter and the gorillas will freeze to death! Problem solved.

  6. You think of everything!

    Can I get gorillas at Target?

  7. i like the goofy fat guy who screams like a girl–he’s actually funny.

  8. Hey, I alphabetized all of my links today, too!

    Another weird, scary coincidence.

    You could use this time to find those pink hair pictures…

    Speaking of pink hair, I’ll never forget the day I was bit by a snake…

  9. Since when is snakes eating alligators a bad thing? Alligators are far more likely to be in your backyard than snakes. If the snakes are eating the alligators–well, hell, snakes aren’t nearly as mean and surly as alligators.

  10. No no no. We HAVE snakes. We don’t have alligators in my yard.

    It is kind of like how I am scared of the clown from “Poltergeist” and I am also scared of needles. But I bitch about needles because they are a real threat. The clown from “Poltergeist” is not in my bushes. That stupid snake IS.

  11. But the snake, again, could EASILY swallow the clown from POLTERGEIST–and the snake isn’t an inaminate object possessed by the spirit of a demon from hell. So, again, your fear of snakes in your backyard is wholly unreasonable.

  12. I guess you haven’t heard about the most recent snake issue. A python in Orlando ate an 18 pound siamese cat. Good times. I hate cats.

  13. You do need alligators. As the picture teaches us, they are engaged in a death match with the snakes. It’s only a matter of time before they eliminate each other . . . right?

  14. Roger – I wish.

    Ritch – was it a pet or a wild python?

  15. Here’s an idea for a new reality show … Pet Pythons Gone Wild.

    I saw another story where a python tried to get a jump on Thanksgiving dinner by stalking and eating a turkey.

  16. Why would I say “Let’s not talk about snakes”? It’s like saying “Don’t think about a pink elephant”.

    See?

  17. Yes, it’s like when my girlfriend says, “Please don’t poke me with the spatula.” There’s NO WAY I’m going to stop poking her with the spatula. God knew what he was doing when he said, “Whatever you do, don’t eat the fruit from THAT TREE RIGHT THERE!” And then he just sat back and watched and giggled.

  18. I heard on the news this morning that a snake ate a turkey in South Florida. What the hell? A turkey?

  19. snakes are also eating plymouth horizons down in florida. seems to be a very odd tendency for the snakes to overinduldge. someone get reptile-richard simmons down there!!!

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