My Mom said “This is my daughter, the one with the twins.”
The carpet cleaning guy said “Are they boys or girls?”
I said “One of each.”
The carpet cleaning guy said “And you still call them twins, huh?”
I said “Well, they came out at the same time”.
I realize I could have made my point in a more genteel way, but people say amazing things to the parents of multiples. This same guy asked me if they were identical. Boy/girl twins can never be identical, they are all fraternal. My friend Diana has boy/girl twins and when people ask her if hers are identical she will actually say “well, they have one big difference”.
Strangers often ask if my twins are “natural”. This doesn’t bother me much, but I know a lot of parents who are bothered by it. It makes them feel as if people think their children may be monsters or robots or something else unnatural. Would it ever even occur to you to walk up to an unknown person with one baby and ask if they had a sperm donor, or IVF or if the baby was adopted or if they had any other problems getting pregnant?
When I first found out that I was having twins a very close friend told me not to get too excited, because she knew someone who was pregnant with twins and one baby absorbed the other fetus. I had lost a pregnancy only five months before that.
It’s not like we were trying to trick the carpet cleaning guy into thinking I had twins when I really didn’t, like maybe it was some elaborate scheme to get a discount. It is not as if I tried really hard to have two babies at once to show up all of my friends and relatives. It just happened. I was as surprised as anyone when I heard about it. I know that the Aztecs regarded twins as such a bad omen that they believed one should be killed at birth. But we’re all beyond that, right?
While I’m at it – people in the hospital are not glad that they don’t have to do laundry. They are sad that they are in the hospital.
Wow. I feel much better. This blog thing really works.