December 22, 2005
Today The Goon Squad were playing with keys. They were playing with keys because we are at Grandma’s house, but that is not the point. They were playing with real keys and it was time for their nap. I said “May I please have the keys?”. They ran from me. I said “Give Mommy the keys.” They laughed at me. I said “Hand me the keys”!
Now I don’t know how many of you have seen “The Usual Suspects” as many times as I have, but during the line up scene each of the guys has to read a line off of an index card to help the victim identify the guy that hijacked a truck.
The line they all have to say is “Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker.”
I want you to know that I did not say this to the children. But I did come really close.
Instead I just told my Mom about it in front of them.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 9:29 am • Uncategorized
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December 22nd, 2005 at 9:28 am, Anonymous Coward Says:
But the question I have is how you said it?
Was is like Stephen Baldwin?
December 22nd, 2005 at 9:32 am, Sarah Says:
More of the Verbal Kint deadpan.
December 22nd, 2005 at 9:33 am, Sarah Says:
You know, Hand ME the keys, you fucking cocksucker.
December 22nd, 2005 at 9:45 am, Kemp Says:
Been there… done that…
I’ve come close to reciting the ‘Ezekiel’ speech from Pulp Fiction a few times…
December 22nd, 2005 at 10:09 am, Sarah Says:
One time I pulled the “Hey, Ian, CD’s”.
“See dees nuts!”
Gabe said that it was inappropriate.
December 22nd, 2005 at 11:19 am, Armaedes Says:
In English, please.
“Give me the keys you fuckin’ cocksucker, what the fuck?”
December 22nd, 2005 at 11:04 am, Alison Says:
I’m partial to Fenster’s, “Hand me the fucking keys, you cocksucker, what the fuck?” How DID he come up with that accent/speech impedement? I loved it.
December 22nd, 2005 at 12:30 pm, Mister Hand Says:
I’m more partial to, “Boy you got a pantyhose on your head!”
“You just drive real fast.”
December 22nd, 2005 at 2:53 pm, Alison Says:
Mr. Hand: Raising Arizona?
Who can guess this one (Jeromy’s been quoting it to me for years): GIMME THE KEYS, I’LL DRIVE.
December 22nd, 2005 at 3:51 pm, Kemp Says:
It could be very many movies, but I remember it in Weird Science with Anthony Michael Hall
December 23rd, 2005 at 11:27 am, NewYorkMoments Says:
This is why I’m not supposed to have children. Because I would probably say that to them.
December 23rd, 2005 at 11:59 pm, Gidge Says:
Hand,
I think it’s actually “Son, you got a panty on your head.”
I drop the Ezekiel speech on my brood all the time. I am the shepherd……and if you hear that shit……It means your ass.
December 24th, 2005 at 9:14 am, Mister Hand Says:
MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, AND ALL THAT STUFF AND I MEAN IT!