Today The Goon Squad were playing with keys. They were playing with keys because we are at Grandma’s house, but that is not the point. They were playing with real keys and it was time for their nap. I said “May I please have the keys?”. They ran from me. I said “Give Mommy the keys.” They laughed at me. I said “Hand me the keys”!
Now I don’t know how many of you have seen “The Usual Suspects” as many times as I have, but during the line up scene each of the guys has to read a line off of an index card to help the victim identify the guy that hijacked a truck.
The line they all have to say is “Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker.”
I want you to know that I did not say this to the children. But I did come really close.
Instead I just told my Mom about it in front of them.