Claudia got up on the wrong side of her crib. Seriously, after her nap she was in a baaaaaaaaaad mood. Everything was pissing her off. Mostly her brother and her mother. First she sat in the big recliner and scowled at me for about 15 minutes. Then she laid on the floor and moaned for a while, then she took a red megablock from Ian and when she was trying to make her getaway she fell down. This was followed by laying back on the floor and whimpering.
I sat them down for lunch, where she said no to everything I offered her. Well, everything except Cheerios (my Mom calls them Claudia snacks) and she didn’t even seem to happy about the Cheerios.
I tried to turn on CNN since the kids can’t even see the television from their chairs at the table, but Claudia wasn’t having any of that either. “Sheeeeet, sheeeeet” (in a whining little girl voice) which translates to “Sesame Street”. She really had zero view of the tv screen. She just wanted to listen to “Sesame Street”. Unbelievable.
I was eating leftover Chinese food, so I offered The Squad fortune cookies. Oh no – she was really mad about that.
That is when I discovered the secret key to Claudia’s happiness. I brought out a box of cinnamon Teddy Grahams.
Claudia waved at the Teddy Grahams and smiled and said “Hi Cookies!” Smiled and waived. At the cookies. I feel sorry for whatever sucker ends up dating this girl. He doesn’t stand a chance.