If You Can’t Take the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen.

I’m not much of a cook. I like to eat, but I really don’t enjoy cooking at all.

Some of this stems from the fact that when I was in college one of my roommates gave me a hard time and said I screwed up a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. After she said that I was so pissed (there was nothing worng with it. At worst it may have been a touch resal dente at worst) that I resolved to never cook for her again. After a couple of years of being out of the habit, and because everyone began to assume that I couldn’t cook, it just became a thing for me. “Oh, I don’t cook”.

Gabe is a fantastic chef and he actually gets pleasure out of creating good meals. For the last 8 years I would say that he has made about 90% of our meals. Lately I have been trying to step up and change all of that.

Yesterday I decided to try to make something we saw on “Good Eats”. (Yes, we are Alton Brown followers). Here is the recipe I was using.

There were only two things that I didn’t do correctly. 1) I didn’t have any tomato paste. No big deal. It only called for 1 tablespoon. Now go back and check out the recipe again and guess which one other step I didn’t follow. (This is going to be a lot easier if you know me.)

That’s right. You guessed it. The part that reads “being careful” and I splashed hot vegetable oil on my hands. It sucked a lot.
Scream.jpg The good news is that the meal ended up being quite tasty. The bad news (you know, besides the obvious fact that I burned myself) is that I obviously still haven’t figured out how to make these pictures do what I want in a post.

*sigh*

Anyway, we’re off to the beach. Well, The Goon Squad and Gabe’s Mom and I are off to the beach, hopefully the kids will behave for their Nonny. I’m also hoping I can score the neighbor’s internet connection if I sit out on the porch. If not, I’ll talk to you guys on Tuesday or Wednesday and I may have even read a new book or two.

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  1. Who doesn’t love Alton? Have fun at the beach. Hope the Squad have as much fun as Little Guy is having.

  2. Sounds like our house. Like Gabe, I have accounted for (probably over) 90% of the meals in our household. Also like Gabe, I love to cook and I tend to specialize in Spanish and Mexican food.

    Like you, Honey Mustard has been trying to start doing more of the cooking, but she has developed a nasty habit (actually, since her Mom and 3 of her sisters do it, I’m gonna call it a family trait) of grabbing a hot pan/dish/etc out of the oven without an oven mitt.

    Alton, like Rachel, is GOD.

    Have fun at the beach…

  3. Was it me who said you made bad mac’ n cheese??? I would guess it was me because I have said the same thing to Dan! Wow, what a critic I am! Good thing he still cooks or we’d boh be starving!

    Have a great 4th weekend!

  4. Just remember, practice makes perfect when it comes to cooking!

    Have a great day at the beach! wish I could join you! 😉

  5. Wow, go you with the cooking and stuff! I’m impressed, even if you omitted ingredients and injured yourself. At least you didn’t set the house on fire or something.

    Enjoy the beachiness.

  6. That episode of Good Eats made my husband want to get one of those needled meat tenderizers.

    btw, If you are looking to build your cooking repertoire and are looking for stuff that is tasty but simple, I cannot recommend a subscription to Everyday Food highly enough. All the recipes are short, have prep time and total times listed, and there are no bizarr-o ingredients.

  7. Christina claims that I can’t prepare mashed potatoes from the box right. I think they are fine, but her cooking skills exceed mine by far, so she is probably right. I am, however, responsible for making spaghetti.

  8. I winced when I read the part about the oil. I hope you’re okay. Thanks for giving me another reason to stay out of the kitchen.

  9. I love Alton too. Most of his recipes require a trip to the hardware store, along with a myriad of homemade contraptions, and a precision that makes my head spin. But he makes you want to attempt them all. Thank goodness you didn’t attempt the tuna steak on the turbo-charged grill.

    Hope your hands heal quickly.

  10. And YET another thing we have in common! The last time I cooked anything for my husband, about 11 years ago, he remarked, “What’s the brown stuff?” It was the last time I made ANYTHING. And he’s a fabulous cook. Too bad we don’t live closer or we’d sit back and drink while our men have the cook-off. And then Matti could enjoy OUR pics for a change! Sorry I haven’t written in so damn long. You HAVE to go to my husband’s blog and read his latest post. You’ll find his link on my site: My Funny Husband. Do it!

  11. Sorry about your hands–and still, you blog on. What a trooper and we appreciate it too!

  12. Oh, oil burns suck SO MUCH. You think it’s going to be okay, not so bad, and then 30 seconds later it’s like “holy crap that hurts!” Sorry about that. Have you discovered the tomato paste they sell in tubes like toothpaste? It revolutionized my cooking when I realized I would no longer have to struggle with those insanely small little cans that are impossible to get the paste out of.

  13. Oh man do I have some stories about my attempts at cooking. For example, the time I set the stove on fire trying to make monkey bread…in a pan with a removable bottom. Yep, the cinnamon gooey stuff [see I even use technical cooking terms] seaped out the bottom all over the stove. Then me, being all brilliant and stuff, decided I should put the stove on self-cleaning to clean all that goo out. Just so you know, goo catches on fire at extremely high temperatures.

  14. I am sure you know that Kraft Macaroni and Cheese only requires two ingredients, milk and butter. But did you know in a pinch you can leave out either one of those two ingredients and it will be just fine.

    This is the piece of information that I learned in college that I use the most in real life.

  15. I really hope it was Corbi & not me. I know I lauhged when you turned the heat on high to make the rice cook faster & it came out crunchy (sorry). But you also cooked for me after that. If it was me, then I am sorry. I know you can cook, you’ve made some good things for me, I just thought you didn’t like to.

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