July 31, 2006 | BlogHer

Flying from the east coast to California is so easy.

Adjusting back to the eastern time zone is so hard.

I’ll post some more pictures tomorrow, but in the meantime here is a picture of The Kaiser. It should help you people tell him and Devra apart.

Or maybe not. Anyway, the caption contest was hilarious. I’m going to keep it open for a day or two. You guys were killing me in the comments. Devra was reading them to me in San Francisco airport (she has a Blackberry) and I was laughing so hard that I may have caused a scene. I was crying. We were both crying.

So to clear up any more confusion The Kaiser is the one with the beard and Devra is the one with the purse. Wait - no. Whatever. This is The Kaiser. Check my flickr account for more pictures.
(If you have any pictures from BlogHer on flickr add them to the BlogHer ‘06 group.)

July 29, 2006 | BlogHer

July 28, 2006 | Music

For my readers that don’t give a crap about BlogHer: 20 - 11.

You can see 100 - 91 here, 90 - 81 here , 80 - 71 here, 70 - 61 here, 60 - 51 here, 50 - 41 here, 40 - 31 here and 30 - 21 here.

20- Rancid - Rancid
Rancid. These guys take themselves way too seriously. That being said I love their music. Really, almost all of it. I even like most of Tim Armstrong, Lars Frederiksen and Matt Freeman’s side projects. This album is my favorite out of all their stuff.

19 - The Beastie Boys - Paul’s Boutique
Maybe this should be higher. Everyone knows that this is groundbreaking, but does everyone know how good it is?

18 - Pantera - Vulgar Display of Power
One time I almost got caught in a pit during “Fucking Hostile”. That was a close one.

17 - The Clash - London Calling
For a while I didn’t get what the big deal was. Then I sat down and listened to this album three or four times. I was blown away. I got it. I get it.

16 - The Misfits - Walk Among Us
I’ve been teaching The Goon Squad to sing “20 Eyes” when they take baths. They do pretty well. Next up “Devil’s Whorehouse” “Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?” “Nike-a-Go-Go”.

15 - Nirvana - Bleach
“Bleach” is Nirvana’s best album. I acknowledge that I might have never heard it if it weren’t for “Nevermind” but I still like it better. It’s so gritty! I tend to really like the first albums of bands that are angry. Once they get money they lose some of the angst that really makes their music powerful.

14 - Metallica - Master of Puppets
Metallica before Cliff died. I’m not blaming Jason or Robert or anyone, I’m just saying that Metallica was a great band before Cliff died. I can still listen to this album and briefly forget “St. Anger” was written by the same people. (mostly)

13 - Soundgarden - Louder Than Love
Alison wrote me a letter (back in 1989 when people wrote letters) and told me about this album. I’d never heard of Soundgarden. I went out and bought the tape with my babysitting money. I loved this. The radio wasn’t playing anything like this at the time. The whole “grunge” explosion was still two years away. This was one of those tapes that I played until it warped and I had to buy it again. I remember joking with Alison that I would sing “I Awake” at her wedding. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this song, trust me when I say it isn’t really appropriate for a church wedding.

12 - The Sex Pistols - Nevermind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols
They call The Queen a moron. Who does that? And these guys did it in 1977! I love this album.

11 - Alice In Chains - Facelift
I’ve been moving this album around on my list ever since I started this list. I really love this album. Alice in Chains when there was still a touch of glam metal in them. I could not possibly talk enough about how brilliant I think Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell were together. The harmonies blow me away. I realize that not everybody thinks about this, but they were completely groundbreaking when it came to harmonizing (using those really tight close chords and dissonance) in this type of music. Of course, no one was less surprised than I was when Layne died, but it’s still a shame.

BlogHer

I forgot that California has midget showers. The shower head is so low that if I aim it straight out it hits me in the neck.

By the time Devra and I got here last night the bar was closed.

Devra is aiming to be the shortest person here. At 4′ 10 3/4″ I think she has a good shot. (If you are shorter and you are here, please don’t tell her. She’ll be devestated.)

July 27, 2006 | Music

I’m off to San Jose today (I’m a poet and I didn’t know it) to go to BlogHer. I don’t know if I’m more excited to meet everyone or to just get to sleep straight through the night. Either way - fear not, if there are snakes on my plane or if we crash in the Andes (which is not likely since I’m connecting in Detroit) my top 20 are ready and waiting and Gabe can publish them for me postmortem. I could be like 2-Pac. Well - as much as any suburban white mom who drives a minivan and likes shopping at Target can be like 2-Pac anyway.

But I digress - gaze upon my 30th - 21st favorite albums of all time.

You can see 100 - 91 here, 90 - 81 here , 80 - 71 here, 70 - 61 here, 60 - 51 here, 50 - 41 here and 40 - 31 here.

30 - Happyhead - Give Happyhead
I have no idea what happened to Happyhead. I think the only reason I ever even heard Happyhead was because I worked at Peaches and someone else pulled it out of the demo bin and really liked it. This is an upbeat, dancy album. It’s fun.

29 - Fugazi - 13 Songs
Even if this album was called “One Song” and the song was “Waiting Room” it would still be on my list.

28 - The Cult - Sonic Temple
I don’t think this will be a popular choice, but I really think this album rocks. Billy Duffy can really write a hook. “Edie (Ciao Baby)” cheesy, yes. Lovely, yes.

27 - Mudhoney - Superfuzz Bigmuff
I guess it’s really “Superfuzz Bigmuff Plus Early Singles” but with old Sub Pop stuff you just take what you can get if you don’t own a record player. This album is full of greatness: “Touch me I’m Sick”, “In ‘N’ Out of Grace”, “You Got It” (Keep it Outta My Face), “Burn it Clean”, I could keep going.

26 - Operation Ivy - Energy
Before I met Gabe I had never even heard of Operation Ivy. He converted me. Now, I admit that technically this is a compilation album, but you can’t really just get these songs on CDs. This is such an upbeat record. It is bouncy and fun and it also has something to say. Remember, members of this band went on to form Rancid, Common Rider and The Transplants, so if you don’t own this you might want to go out an get it. (Who am I kidding, burn it off the internet).

25 - Queensryche - Operation: Mindcrime
It is going to kill Gabe that I have this beating Operation Ivy by one. He hates Queensryche. I like Queensryche. I like love really like this album.

24 - The Front - The Front
I just learned that this album is out of print. What a shame. It’s really a good album. I saw these guys open up for Alice Cooper. They were a great live rock band.

23 - The Beatles - Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
When I was a kid, this was the only Beatles album that my parents had, but I still understood why The Beatles were The Beatles.

22 - Duran Duran - Duran Duran
Back in the days when I got my music by putting my tape recorder right up against my clock radio and pressing record/play I made a tape that was just the songs “Is There Something I Should Know” and “Our House” over and over. Now Madness is advertising for Maxwell House and I don’t even know how you would describe Duran Duran these days. My first real music crush was on either on Adam Ant or Simon LeBon. Later (6th grade) I became more of a John Taylor girl. I remember thinking that these lyrics were really deep - above my head. The older I get the more I am convinced that some of it is complete nonsense (especially on “Seven and the Ragged Tiger”). Either way, I love this album. I have it on vinyl, tape, CD and it’s burned onto our computer. I listened to this album so much in Jr. High that if I listen to it now I feel relaxed because all of my problems then were stupid, and now my Mom lets me stay out late and it would be impossible for me to attend a party where there weren’t any parents, because, you know, I am one.

21 - The Abyssinians - Satta Massagana
I just learned that this album was released back in 1976. It really holds up well. From what I understand, the song “Satta Massagana” is widely used in the Ethiopian Orthodox Church. My favorite song is “Leggo Beast”. Sometimes I think just hearing the laid back opening to that song could put me at ease.

July 26, 2006 | The Pink One

Claudia: (Repeating a question I had just asked Gabe) How was your day, Daddy?

Gabe: It was like watching a series of slow motion train wrecks.

Claudia: Baby T-Rex? That’s a good day Daddy.

Randomness

Lance Bass is gay? Who else is only surprised that the rest of ‘N Sync isn’t?

I’m putting off posting my “Why I am not a Christian” post (or posts, it seems to be turning into a series) until after BlogHer. I don’t want to get lynched, converted or crusaded in San Jose.

My cat just barfed on the living room floor. What is it with my family throwing up this week? Could Sid have caught a stomach thing from Ian and Claudia?

Music

I guess I should just hurry up and post the rest of these before you guys lose interest. Behold: 40 - 31.

You can see 100 - 91 here, 90 - 81 here , 80 - 71 here, 70 - 61 here, 60 - 51 here and 50 - 41 here.

40 - Metallica - Kill ‘Em All
Hey guys, remember when Metallica was good? It’s been a while. But they sure were good in 1983.

39 Motley Crue - Theatre of Pain
I know a lot of people refer to this album as “Theatre of Shame” but I really like it. It might be a little anthemic at times but it was 1985.

38 - Bob Marley - Exodus
The song “Exodus” is almost an epic. This album moves almost like a symphony, it has a flow and seems like one whole piece. It one of those albums that I don’t like to take apart, but listen to in order.

37 - Obituary - Cause of Death
I know that “Slowly We Rot” is supposed to be their best album, but I like “Cause of Death”. I absolutely love their cover of “Circle of the Tyrants” and I always use “Body Bags” as the song in my head when I’m trying to figure out 60 beats per minute. My music theory teachers in college would be so proud.

36 - U2 - War
U2 fans are going to get mad at me but to me this album is what was good about U2 before Bono decided he was Jesus. Come on, think about “Sunday, Bloody Sunday” and then think about “Beautiful Day”. You have to love a band with angst. Now Bono is just a megalomaniac. Anyway, feelings for Bono aside, “War” is a great album.

35 - Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes
That’s right. You heard me. I am a girl. Let’s move on.

34 - Stone Temple Pilots - No. 4
I really like this band and I really like their other albums too. I have no idea why this one is my favorite. I went through a phase where I pretty much listened to this album nonstop for a month. “I got You”, “Church on Tuesday” and especially “Sour Girl” are my favorites.

33 - Helmet - Meantime
I like to tell you when I like albums that Gabe hates, but he loves this one too. He wishes more bands were like Helmet. One time I saw Helmet live and I was very struck how they all looked exactly like regular guys. If one of them had jumped into the crowd he could have blended in and nobody would have known which one he was. In regards to the music - it’s heavy, it’s simple and it’s good.

32 - Van Halen - 1984
Hey, you guys know that riff from the beginning of “Drop Dead Legs”? Yeah, that part is awesome.

31 - The Jesus Mary Chain - Honey’s Dead
I can’t really speak intelligently on The Jesus Mary Chain, this is the only one of their albums I’ve ever owned. From what I understand it is a little bit different from their other stuff. This is one of those albums that I was exposed to when I worked at a record store. It is dancy and dark at the same time. You don’t get that much.

July 25, 2006 | Memes

Lumpyhead’s Mom tagged me for the 5 things meme - so here goes.

Five items in my freezer

1. Ben and Jerry’s Black and Tan Ice Cream
2. tater tots
3. frozen peas
4. two frozen pizzas
5. a bottle of vodka that Gabe’s parents brought back from Russia

Five items in the closet:

1. My Simeon Rice jersey
2. My old work clothes
3. A pair of black platform boots
4. A bag from Target that only had trash in it (but I just threw it away)
5. My new Bucs sweatshirt

Five items in the car

1. Two car seats
2. A double stroller
3. A Laurie Berkner CD
4. A bag with a bunch of kids percussion stuff in it for music playgroup
5. My good sunglasses

Five items in my backpack
(Okay, but I’ll warn you, my backpack is currently being used as a diaper bag)

1. diapers
2. wipes
3. a baggie half full of goldfish
4. one pink pacifier, one blue one
5. a pair of pink sunglasses (I have no idea what Ian did with his)

Five people I tag

1. Devra
2. Trish
3. Samantha
4. Kelly
5. Elizabeth

July 24, 2006 | Son of a..., The Blue One

Ian: Wawa pets. Wawa pets.

Me: Wonder Pets! Again?

Ian: Wawa Pets!

Me: Seriously? The Wonder Pets? Again? Are you high?

Ian: High.

Crap. Why do I say things like that?

In my defense, we had already watched the stupid “Womder Pets!” three or four times today. He’s sick and so we can’t go anywhere, and I’ve been spoiling him by letting him watch whatever he wanted. Sometimes TiVo is a curse.*

In conclusion, in retrospect I think that asking a two year old if he was high was inappropriate. I can just see this being one of those phrases that sticks. Can’t you just see us at playgroup? “NO! MY ELMO! YOU HIGH?”

* Not really. I take it all back. I love TiVo deeply.