Seriously, good for you. This Mommy shit is way harder than I thought it would be and the whole twin thing makes it all that much more difficult. Funny, but arduous. If meds make it easier/better/happier/less suckish, then bring on the meds. You have to take care of you first.

Good luck.

Oh, and I, too, would love to hear about the Christian thing.

There is nothing lovlier than watching honesty, even pain-filled honesty, be put out there. What I really thought about was the fact that the cliches we have are cliches for a reason: LOTS of people feel that way. Lots of mothers need help. LOTS of women want to get healthy. LOTS of people need to reach out.

When we get to SJ I’m going to reach out and hug you. You probably knew that already. But it’s going to be extra-special.

For this. For your bravery. For your honesty. For being fabulously you.

Brava!

In other words, we won’t take the depression shit lying down. And really, there’s nothing wrong with that.

P.S. I am almost 1 year into my Zoloft and depression therapy. Just so you know, you may need to up your dosage several times over the course of many months. If that’s the case, don’t beat yourself up. I didn’t realize this when I first started, and was so hard on myself because the damn meds weren’t working.

When you hit the right dosage, you’ll know. And if you do need to “up”, it doesn’t mean you’re “more” crazy. It just takes different amounts for different bodies.

There’s nothing wrong with realizing you need a little help. I’ve been on and off antidepressants three times in my life, the last being a post-partum bout of depression. I just recently weaned myself off again, and I’m still in the phase of trying to determine if I’m OK off of them or not. I can remember the bad days (just like you described it, too!), and I know the meds really helped me reach a point of feeling like a normal person.

And yeah, let’s hear about why you’re not a Christian. I’m all for deep posts!

There are two types essentially: Genetic (this also applies to families that have a culture of depression since it is both genetic and situational) and situational. Presumably you’ve been okay most of your life, but you’re facing challenges, facing situations, that have maxed out your coping ability. Two years of not enough sleep, enormous stress (and I know how hard two is, right?), trying to be THE MOMMY to two babies and now two toddlers AT THE SAME TIME, plus trying to keep a marriage together, plus so much more. If you are depressed it is situational and maybe medication might help you get through until you feel better.

Two sayings I love about depression:
“Just because you feel screwed up in a screwed up place and in a screwed up time does not mean you are screwed up.”

By someone who didn’t want to take meds to fight depression. “I don’t want chemicals f$@^ing with my brain.” “Chemicals are already f$#@ing with your brain. Medication just makes it a fair fight.”

We’re all behind you, Sarah.

So I wish you the best of luck on this journey. We’re here to support you. And talk to us about whatever you’d like!!