The Most Appropriate Homonym of Them All

An Open Letter to Cox Cable

Dear Sirs,

I have not had any phone service since Wednesday. I have contacted you on Wednesday, Thursday (twice), Friday and Saturday. Each time I was promised a return call. I have yet to receive this phone call (on my cell mind you, I have no home phone).

I saw the Cox truck on my street on Friday. Nobody came by.

Today I made an appointment – you could squueze me in NEXT Wednesday. To this I say, you suck. I hope that people read this and pick another phone/cable/internet provider. I hope they fire your Customer Service Manager because that person is not doing their job. I hope you all suffer from terrible cases of diarrhea at work.


Sarah, Goon Sqaud Sarah

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  1. Your title cracked me up.

  2. That really bites. I don’t know how any company — especially one that you’re at the mercy of — can provide such horrific customer service. Oh yeah, I guess it’s because you’re at their mercy and they know it.

    Good luck with that diarrhea curse. They deserve it.

  3. Holy crap – it’s not just us! We switched to Cable-based phone 3 weeks ago – we’ve lost service 4 times since then (although not for that long a period of time). I’m beginning to think that AT&T isn’t looking that bad (gasp…did I just say that).

  4. As a call center professional with almost 20 years experience in call center operational management, I would like to offer my vast service and sales experience to Cox Cable. It seems, to me, that you do indeed suck it and need someone to come in there and crack some heads. This happens to be one of my specialities. I am sure there are other operational efficiencies that can be wrought from your seriously flawed infrastructure. My resume is on I am thinking of a number, six numbers actually. But I am worth it…….

  5. They’re laughing at all of us…

  6. …at least that explains why I couldn’t get ahold of you…

  7. Sarah, you are brillant. “terrible cases of diarrhea at work”, is the greatest curse I have heard in a while. I hope it works for you.

  8. I once used the word “suck” in an email to SBC. They returned it to me saying that they did not accept emails with profane language. I would guess that Cox is even more sensitive in this regard.

  9. My stepmother received a parking ticket. She felt the ticket was unfairly given as she proved the meter was broken. The officer didn’t care and gave her the ticket. In the “note” section of her check she wrote “Fuck You!”.

    The judge sent her a letter asking her to appear before him to explain her rage. I asked her if she planned to express her “rage” verbally in court. She called me a smartass. Which I am.

  10. I work in a call center as a trainer, but sometimes I get on the phones and help out. Today was one of those days. All day long today all I could think was, “I hope no one casts a diarrhea curse on my ass.”

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  1. […] If you are bored feel free to send hate mail to Cox Communications. I still don’t have home phone service. […]