Pluto Little Pluto was the Farthest Planet From the Sun (Ooh Hoo)

Okay, all you scientists. It is time to come clean.

How many frigging planets are there?

Last week they tell me there are 12 planets, and now they are trying to tell me that Pluto isn’t a planet at all?


What the hell? How many are there?

What am I supposed to tell my children? What am I supposed to do with “My Very Educated Mother Just Scorched Uncle Ned’s Pants” because “My Very Educated Mother Just Scorched Uncle Ned” has a much darker feel, and I’m not sure I want to be teaching The Squad that I think it’s okay to go around burning people.

That being said, I am much more concerned with giving them bad information. I’m glad they are only two. I don’t know what I would tell them if they were studying the Solar System this year.

So, how about it scientist? How many planets? 8, 9, 12? (Eggs are good, eggs are bad, cholesterol is bad except for good cholesterol which we need. Iraq has weapons of mass destruction. No, we were mistaken.) The news is confusing. Sometimes I really do think ignorance is bliss.

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  1. I think “scored” Uncle Neds pants is funny, & funnier if she scored uncle ned!

    I hope you can give me answer by May, that’s when I have to teach this info.

  2. Tammy isn’t crazy – I just went back and fixed my typo.

    Well, she’s crazy, but that isn’t why.

  3. And if she “scored” Uncle Ned, I hope he’s you Dad’s brother and not your Mom’s brother. I mean – either are bad, but incest is worse.

  4. You could change scorched to another s verb like smooched or scratched or maybe spanked

  5. I just wanted to make sure I have this right.

    Scorching Uncle Ned = bad.

    Burning the baby = okay.

  6. My education is all fucked up. What am I really to believe anymore. Next they will tell me that the earth revolves around the sun and it isn’t flat. FUCK!

  7. What about Goofey? Does he still exist?

  8. Now hold on just a minute. How did YOUR very educated mother scortch some pants when MY very educated mother served us nine pizzas??

    I dunno. I’d rather have the pizza than the flaming pants!

  9. I was at this museum and in the cafeteria they had thie My Very Educated mother thing painted on the wall……and I had seriously never heard it before…(my school just made you learn stuff, no pneumonic devices apparently) so I’m like, WTF does THAT mean?
    Then suddenly I’m the stupid one – because I didn’t learn a phrase rather than just learn the damn names of the planets.

  10. I never learned the “Uncle Ned” thing either. It took me a sec to figure out what the hell you were talking about!

    Forgive me, but I say fuck Pluto. The “dwarf planet”, not the dog. I can’t keep all this stuff straight anymore, so I’m just trying to roll with it. Who knows, in a few years we may have MORE planets.

    Things change, and for the most part, I like it. Don’t say that to my MIL though. She is an anti-change FREAK. She still consults her near 40 year old copy of “Dr. Spock”, and quotes from it. Egads.

  11. Something’s fishy about this whole “Pluto’s not a planet” thing. Smacks of scientists just wanting a little media attention, I think. Hmph. :)

  12. I think the Neptune realtors are out to inflate their market prices — And my current lifestyle means I never see the news, yep it’s ‘bliss’, sister.. Lucky, I can still pick up the thread off the blogs! thanks

  13. I think HOLST has something to do with this nonsense.
    He didn’t write PLUTO…… did he?
    (points for those who get it)

  14. Holst didn’t write Earth either.

    Should we be worried?

  15. You know that Ceres and 2003 UB313 are snickering right now, right? Since that bitch Pluto got rightfully taken down a peg? Ceres is all, “Serves her right, that uppity skank.” and 2003 UB313 is all, “Whatever. They call me Xena.”

  16. I can hear myself with my kids a long ways into the future. “When i was growing up there were 9 planets, but then they decided to downsize the solar system.”

    Why mess with things?

  17. I learned it as “My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas”. So I guess I’ll have to say “Just Served Us Nectarines” or something.

    What will happen to the Blue’s Clues song about the Planets? They’d better get Steve out of retirement for this one.

  18. THANK YOU for posting that mnemonic device thingy. I’ve been trying to remember how it goes. I’m still not sure that’s the one I learned, but it’s a lot closer than anything else I’ve been able to find…

    Also — re: the Holst comment. HAHAHAHAHA!

  19. We learned “My Very Earnest Mother Just Sat Upon Nine Pigs”….

    Damn….and what if they all of these other planets…how is that going to play into it?

    I guess I know how my parents felt abou the “new math” now.

  20. in my mind, i file this one with the whole “brontosaurus isn’t called brontosaurus anymore” thing. poor brontosaurus — his (or her) marketing people really fell down on the job when they let his (or her) name become “apatosaurus.” brontosaurus is WAY better.

    but what’s with the presto change-o science crap? i agree with mommy off the record: this totally smacks of scientists wanting some attention for their little lives. i mean, how else can you explain the part about the scientists saying “they will seek suggestions for a name from the public.”

  21. Wait – what?! They’re changing this again?! Why do they keep going back and forth on this? I learned “My Very Eccentric Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas.” Pluto HAS to be there for that one. Otherwise, my very eccentric mother just served us nine. WHA??

  22. There’s another proposal floating out there that would make the solar system have only 4 planets.

    Since it downgrades earth to space junk however, I don’t give it very good odds.

  23. I love all the variations. I learned “My Very Excellent Mother Just Sat Upon Nine Pickles”, which is more than a little suggestive considering it was middle school. :)

  24. The so-called demotion of Pluto was a political and controversial act by four percent of the International Astronomical Union (424 out of 10,000 members, most of whom are not planetary scientists) and immediately generated a strong backlash among other professional astronomers as well as lay people. The arguments used to demote Pluto were very sloppy and weak, meaning the decision is likely to be overturned at the next IAU convention in 2009. I’m teaching my nephews that there are ten planets at least with more possibly to be discovered–the nine we know plus recently discovered Eris as the tenth planet. There is no reason we can’t continue to teach Pluto as a planet and explain that with the new discoveries, the number of planets in our solar system is likely to change a number of times in our lifetimes.

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