I was never a little bit country. However…

Karen wrote a post about how she used to be a big loser where she admits to going to a New Kids on the Block concert. After I got done laughing my ass off, I started thinking about concerts I have been to that might not have been that cool in retrospect.

For example, one time I went to go see Strutter. According to Strutter’s website they are “America’s #1 KISS Tribute Band”. Strutter Kiss Cover band

Ahem. So, now that we are all clear who they are it should make it even funnier that the fake Paul Stanley reached down into the audience and put his guitar pick right down the front of my shirt. It’s true. You can ask Tammy. She was there. (In my defense it was even hysterical at the time.)

I also mentioned to Karen that one time I bruised my ribs at a Tesla concert.

Here is another gem. One time at a Cinderella concert, Jeff LeBar (Duh. he guitar player) sweat on me. I thought it was awesome.

Shut up. Like you were cool.
Oh, there are more. (Thank Ozzy that I can’t find a the picture of Lori and me dressed in black spandex mini dresses on our way to the Death Angel/Forbidden show, or you might be looking at it right now.) But I’m not giving them all up that easily. Your turn. Tell me about your embarrassing concerts.

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  1. OH! Come on. We were soooooo cool at the time. (Right?!) I know it’s already been mentioned on your blog at one time but, the Faster Pussycat concert was still the funniest.

  2. I was just thinking how depressing it would be to be America’s #2 KISS Tribute Band. I mean, all that work, all that make-up, and you don’t quite make the grade. Sad, really.

  3. I love you.

    I touched Steven Tyler’s Tattooed arm.

    I caught Sheila E’s drumstick.

    I was in a fire at a Tesla Concert when they played a bar near our neighborhood.

    After the fire, I was on their tourbus.

    I hung out at a bar with Tony Harnell (TNT).

    Sebastian Bach’s drummer spanked my ass…that’s right! Go ahead, you can touch me.

    (I have a square of Sebastian Bach’s toilet paper from his house in NJ. My BFF was actually there.)

    I’ve seen a Kiss Tribute band in Virginia..can’t remember their name. (We called them Skeeter Kiss)

    I hung out with Phil Anselmo of Pantera.

    I saw White Lion every time they played Lamour’s in Broolyn.

    Every guy I ever dated (not my husband) was in a band.

    If I remember more…I’ll re-comment!

  4. Lionel Ritchie, Thompson Twins (who weren’t twins), Moody Blues, the list goes on..

  5. I don’t know what the hell you people are talking about. I saw the coolest bans evvvvveer.

    I refuse to say more.

    Just kidding.

    My very first live show was Edie Brickel and the New Bohemians.

    Really.

  6. I’ve seen some good ones:

    Rick Springfield, Glass Tiger, Survivor, Loudness (Rock and Roll Crazy Nights), Ted Nugent (actually sat in my car in the parking lot and drank beer until he was done, but I heard him), and of course, Queensryche

  7. oh and Extreme

  8. Okay. Here’s one more.

    I met Winger. (The whole band.)

  9. I met Extreme in Germany and the four of us girls were the only english speaking ones backstage so the guys talked to us for a couple hours and drank. a lot. their drummer was an ass but now he’s Godsmack’s manager so I’ll deal. I’ve been to many a county fair and the list there is too long. I was on my ex’s shoulders and went into the mosh pit to touch the guitarist from Local H at Summerfest years ago. Sarah, I saw Winger a couple years ago at the Glam Slam Metal Jam (no lie, that’s the name) and Kip Winger said he doesn’t like singing 17 anymore cause it makes him feel like a dirty old man now LOL. I’ve seen Poison just about every year in the last 10. Good stuff there. I would have DIED if I coulda gone to an NKOTB show. Died I tell ya. I’m done babbling. I think.

  10. “It’s still hard…
    At six o’clock in the morning…”

    Those lines used to crack me up EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

    We were ALL losers!

    More than words can say I need you now….

  11. I think the Death Angel reference (that photo notwithstanding) is actually a step up from those other bands. (Chris liked Death Angel enough to see them live. I am fairly sure he didn’t wear a minidress.)

  12. My best friend got kicked in the forehead by a steel toe boot during the Stone Temple Pilots concert and was blind for like 30 minutes……we had to SURF to get out because we were so deep into the pit – and I had to try to hold her hand the whole time because she was screaming incoherently.

    David Bowie once leaned over and dripped sweat onto my face during a Tin Machine concert in Chicago.

    My best friend (same one who went blind) and I once ran into Dan Baird (Georgia Satellites) and shared fries with him the morning after we saw his solo concert. We told him that we had PAID to see what ended up being a free show which was sort of dickheaded of us, but we thought it was funny. He seemed actually touched. I think we got an “awww man I’m sorry”.

    And (this is completley uncool and if you know who it is you’re as big of a geek as I) we shared fudge with Carl Storie. He offered it to us and sat down and blabbed about nothing with us.

    When I was just at the Korn concert I was in the pit next to this dude who owns a local porno den who was telling me that he doesn’t like those little blonde hooker types that he likes real women. I took that to mean that he liked my big fat ass. I got like a 30 minute dissertation on why real women are better. I was REALLY happy that the show started.

    Our COOLEST rock and roll moment though, is Scotts.
    Walking through the Animal Kingdom in 2001 on New Year’s Eve we commented on WHY don’t you ever see famous people at Disney. Suddenly he grabs my hand and goes COME ON!!!

    Steven Tyler was there with his family (including the chubby daughter) and so we followed them around until he went into the bathroom – whence I SENT SCOTT IN AFTER HIM.

    Why?

    I don’t know. A chick would’ve brought out a report about his package. My husband of course observed the rules of man etiquette and didn’t take a peak. But he did report that Steven Tyler washed his hands, said “how ya doin” or something like that at the sinks.

    He was remarkably tall and remarkably skinny (kind of like GABE!)

  13. Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers was my next door dorm mate for one sememster in College. Real name Michael. Oh and Oingo Boingo, The Chili Peppers, and Fishbone used to play on campus on wednesdays for FREE!

    Oh and I once was a rock star myself. If only regionaly. Oh and Holland.. We were big in Holland, go figure.

  14. first concert: debbie gibson, i was age 11, at the collier county fairgrounds, naples, FL

    i also saw michael w. smith on a church trip to six flags in atlanta. awesome!

  15. Hmmmm, I went to a New Kids on The Block Concert, but I was 9, so I dont think that counts. I did go to um….the um….Spice Girls concert in HS, but um….I was um…forced. Yeah, forced, that was it.

  16. That’s an awesome story. Oh, and I was listening to Long Cold Winter this very morning.

  17. I just went to a Kiss tribute concert a few weeks ago. Mr. Speed. Very good. Not ashamed to say it.

  18. Are they America’s #2 KISS tribute band that Beth was talking about?

  19. At the tender age of FIVE I went to a Cyndi Lauper concert. 5th row. Center. My GRANDMA bought me the tickets. First live show. Couldn’t hear for a week:-)

    Then in 5th grade I hit the NKOTB concert TWICE and cried both times we got through to Ticketmaster and bought tickets.

    Best live show? Marilyn Manson, Aragon Ballroom, Chicago 1998. He blew me away.

    Coolest show? Last year. Ringo Starr, front row. He bent down and shook my hand. And I was on TV.

    It’s all downhill from here.

  20. Can I just say that Karen’s comment and Gidge’s comment nearly had me on the floor?

    There are still tears running down my face and my kids keep asking me what the hell is wrong.

    I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed you nooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

  21. I am such a child of the 80’s.
    Duran Duran, sat in nosebleed and commented “We are soooooo lucky we got tickets!” The dad of a friend actually camped out for them.

    Boy George and Culture Club- same friend’s dad got the tickets, spent most of the night educating my friend that the song is NOT “Comma Chameleon” and in fact has nothing to do with punctuation. (Poor girl also thought Exile was singing “I Want to Kiss Your Aunt Lola”)

    Barry Manilow- My mom took me to the concert. I even got a baseball shirt with Barry’s face on it which I wore proudly to school. The concert was at Red Rocks, but I did not appreciate the beauty until years later at a Grateful Dead concert there.

    The Romantics and Adam Ant- at Milford Jai Lai. Best concert venue ever. NOT!

    Madonna and the Beastie Boys- the concert is not what was embrassing. What I wore to the concert is another story. Pony tail tied up with lace do-rag, ripped hoodie, white Merry Widow underneath ripped hoodie, no fewer than 50 black rubber bracelets, rhinestone earrings with rhinestone necklace, Guess Jeans fitting me like a second skin, white Keds, dark red lipstick, purple “Stage Light” eyeshadow topped off with electric blue mascara and a tiny silver star superglued to the upper outside corner of my eye lid right under my eyebrow. Why I didn’t put this picture in my PR materials I don’t know.

    Cool and the Gang and Houdini changed my flat tire on the way back from my cousin’s wedding at McDonald’s rest stop in Stamford Connecticut. They told me they would have wanted anyone to have done the same for their own mother and sister. Awesome guys, which led me then to attend….

    Cool and the Gang and Climaxx.

    Kenny Wayne Shepherd- I bake a cherry pie for him every time I see him in concert. Not because I am some weird groupie, but because I’ve known him since he was 11 and he loves cherry pie. His aunt and I went to grad school together. One time his band told me Kenny ate all the pie and left them the crust, so last time we saw him I made a pie for him and cookies for the band. The bouncer at the club did not see my name on the list, so I had to call Kenny’s aunt, who called his mom who called Kenny on the bus who said “Oh, I see Devra and my pie in the parking lot.” Road manager comes out to the line and tells the bouncer we are “okay”. Bouncer looked at me and said “Sorry, you know we hear all kinds of crap to get in to see the bands.” Yeah, I know, but a woman in her late thirties showing up with a pie and bag of M&M cookies to see a twentysomething guitarist really should be taken a bit more seriously.

    The Grateful Dead- I was 4, they were playing at a conference my parents attended in San Francisco. I saw them again at 13 and with my mom. She educated me about what I would look like on drugs. “See that woman dancing and singing ‘I love bananas?’ that could be you if you eat the wrong kind of mushrooms.”

    I had tickets to see The Kinks and had to sell them so I wouldn’t miss my junior high chorus concert and get an “F” in chorus.

    Rod Stewart- Last row in the Superdome in New Orleans, sitting next to a serously homophobic male friend. Unbeknownst to him, there were about 40 gay couples behind us dancing. When his wife and I realized, she said “Don’t let him turn around. I don’t want to have to leave the concert!”

    Simon and Garfunkel- It felt like we were out to dinner with a married couple who had just had a fight prior to picking us up. I’m talkin about Simon and Garfunkel! They took turns bickering and sulking the entire night.

    Most dissappointing concert? the time we saw Bruce Springsteen when he played every single “B” side song but none of the stuff he is famous for except “Thunder Road”.

    Best Concert? Rod Stewart. The second time I saw him, he had given out free tickets to the military and he never mentioned doing it. All he did was intro a song by saying “whether or not you agree with the war, this song is dedicated to the men and women in our military who are away from their families.” and then he sang “Rhythm of My Heart”.

  22. Feel free to skim the above freakishly long post. I had no idea how much I was writing!

  23. Night Ranger. And Amy Grant. Not together, of course, but I saw them both.

    And I thought I was coooool.

  24. Man. You people have lived! Wow. I only went to a Wham! concert as a teen. With my aunt. And my mom.

    Is that sufficient enough to put me in the Loser Club?

  25. Nah. Don’t do embarrassing concerts, there’s not enough time.. I’ve been to an awful lot, though – and I’ve bruised a rib at least once, too :) My favourite band’s Norwegian and you wouldn’t have heard of them (no, it’s not a-ha..). I freely admit to having seen Robbie Williams live this summer, I don’t consider it embarrassing even though he was part of a boyband ages ago… (You may see what I though here: http://xrisimopoio.blogspot.com/2006/07/england-lost-robbie-won.html) And this Friday there’s another concert! With a Swedish band you wouldn’t know, but still, time off with hubby :)

  26. Howard Jones. And I was a SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL–I don’t even have the “I was an infant” excuse all your other commenters have. Oy.

    What’s sadder is all the bands I *wanted* to go see but never, thank heaven, did–Milli Vanilli, MC Hammer (I am physically cringing as I write this) and yes, Vanilla Ice.

  27. Blues Traveler, Dog’s Eye View.

    Enough said.

  28. I think the absolute worst were Yngwie Malsteen, Queensryche and Night Ranger.

  29. Okay y’all. Here’s embarrassing for you: My friend and I went to see Air Supply at an outdoor venue. It rained. We stayed.

    Also in the list (although unlike Air Supply, I’m not necessarily embarrassed about them — they’re just time capsules):

    – Journey, with as-of-yet-unheard-of Bryan Adams opening.

    – Yes, the 90125 tour. Although they played Roundabout, which was way cool.

    – Cyndi Lauper, with the as-of-yet-unheard-of Bangles opening.

    – Chicago, a couple of times, in the era spanning cool old “Saturday
    in the Park” Chicago” and crappy new “You’re My Inspiration” Chicago.

    – INXS – saw them when I was living in a small town in France, at a TINY venue. We were the only ones there who spoke English so the band spoke to us throughout the show (like in between songs) then invited us backstage afterwards.

    And stafanierj? I would have KILLED to see Howard Jones when I was in high school. I used a quote from him on my yearbook page!

    Geek out, y’all.

  30. I think I have everyone beat. When I was 12 or so, a friend took me to see LOVERBOY in concert. Ick.

    In my defense, I was 12 and didn’t know any better.

    I’ll go stick my head in the sand now.

  31. Uh ….Lori, I beat everybody by a mile…

    Only concert I have ever seen is (drumroll)

    MILLI VANILLI – the were not really signing tour –

    Yeah send me the prize gift… Those fu*&* still owe me 55$ for my ticket. Anybody else? I am thinking class action lawsuit here…

  32. I saw Howard Jones too! But my mother, who confuses names rather easily, thinks I went to see a Howard Johnson’s concert. When I tried to correct her, she asked me if Howard Johnson was related to Michael Johnson (aka Michael Jackson).

  33. Harry Belafonte? I went with my mom.

    Actually, I can’t say I’m embarassed by anything I’ve seen, but I can say I’ve been pretty disappointed a few times.

    Oh, and speaking of country, did you know Me First & the Gimme Gimmes just launched their album of punk country music covers?

  34. I’m a bit young, so I haven’t had the joy of going to see Tesla or Strutter, although I’m extremely jealous. I did go to an NKOTB concert when I was about 9, though, and I was so excited.

    Although it should be mentioned that my very 1st concert ever was Milli Vanilli. Yep. I danced. And it wasn’t a problem.

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