Claudia’s Mr. T. Starter Kit

I pity the fool that tries to take away this girl’s measuring spoons.

Now I’ve Seen Everything Vol. 3

While I was driving from Ft. Lauderdale to Tampa on I-75 earlier today I saw a dead alligator on the side of the road. It really appeared as if someone ran into it. Can you even imagine how strange it would be to hit an alligator with your car? Nobody would even believe you. I [...]

The Problem With Vacation

Besides the obvious fact that I haven’t been posting with any regularity whatsoever, my biggest problem with being on vacation is that I can’t seem to stop eating. Actually eating and drinking. I know that Thanksgiving is a big food holiday, but that was almost a week ago. Ick. All my clothes feel too tight. [...]

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving

I’m Not Ignoring You

I’m not ignoring you, I swear. It’s just that for some reason I can receive e-mails at my Mom’s house but I can’t send any. I know it sounds like a lie, but it is true. You see, my Mom got a wireless router so that I could use my iBook when we were down [...]

This One is For All You Pregnant People

I don’t know if it is because my kids are two, or if it is because I am 33, or if there is just some sort of baby boom going on right now, but I know a ton of women who are currently pregnant. This phenomenon has me thinking about what it was like when [...]

Dolca Anyone?

My real life friend, Michelle, has started distributing Dolca shoes and clothes in the United States. I just got these outfits from her. Michelle’s son was born four days before The Goon Squad. We spent a lot of time waddling around Tampa together hugely pregnant. When I got stuck in the hospital with preterm labor [...]

I Thought it was Funny. (ROTFLMAO Awards)

Last month Mommy off the Record and Izzy started up an award for the funniest post you read in a month. I wasn’t nearly organized enough to get my stuff together in time to participate last month, but this month I’ve written my post before three o’clock in the afternoon! (Give me a break. I [...]

…and THAT is what broke baby bird’s balloon.

Do you want to know what sucks worse than spilling a beer in your lap? Spilling a good expensive beer in your lap. Spilling a good dark expensive beer in your lap. Spilling your last dark expensive beer in your lap. Do you want to know what sucks worse than spilling your last dark expensive [...]

The boy isn’t right.

Ian just brought me a block. “We need to wash it.” I said “We need to wash it? Why? What’s on it?” “Poop.” He said. “POOP?” I’m picturing something unspeakable going on five feet to my right as I was paying bills. “No.” Ian said. “It’s just throw up.” At this point I put aside [...]

At least he knows his shapes.

I was putting in my contacts this morning and Ian came into the bathroom. “Claudia’s sad.” he said. This was obvious to me, as I could hear her screaming from the living room. She had been sccreaming on and off all morning, so I wasn’t too worried about her being hurt. She was just in [...]

Fall. Who Knew? I Guess Everybody Except Me.

When we decided to move to the DC area, besides The Kennedy Center and good Chinese food, one of the things I was looking forward to the most was fall. You see, I lived in Florida for 21 years. We didn’t have four seasons there. Florida has two seasons – Hurricane Season and Slightly Less [...]