December 19, 2006 | The Blue One, The Goon Squad, The Pink One
Claudia sings Jingle Bells.
Archive for December, 2006
December 18, 2006 | If It's For Free It's For Me
I cannot believe you people didn’t understand how cool this Hello Kitty guitar is. Now I feel like I need to explain myself. Just look at it.
It is so girly and stupid that it is punk rock. What is more asshole than a pink Hello Kitty Guitar?
Originally Gabe showed this to me as an idea for Claudia, but she isn’t big enough for it yet and it is too expensive to buy as a joke. But somehow it became (much like my hot pink cell phone) something that I actually wanted. I don’t know what happened. I am a terrible guitar player, we already have an electric guitar, an acoustic guitar, a bass, a six string bass and an acoustic bass here that we never have time to play.
But still…
While I am discussing stuff, let me tell you about some free stuff that I got.
Charlie (of the free portable DVD player fame) sent me a Norelco Bodygroom. (Okay, this link is to a commercial, but it’s pretty freaking funny.) When I first got the package I took this picture of the box (because I am really immature).
Now if you can read this box, you will see that if I took the time to read it instead of just giggling at the pictures that it is supposed to be exclusively for men. Clearly, I am not a man.
This may or may not explain why I had a problem with it. More likely it is because I am sort of a moron and that I don’t know how to use an electric shaver.
When I tried to use it I dropped it on the shower floor immediately and broke it. See, it’s cool because you can take it in the shower. Well, it’s cool if you aren’t really really clumsy.
Luckily, Gabe fixed and says it works well. That is all I am going to say about it. If you want to know which of his bodyzones he shaved you are going to have to ask him.
(Nobody gave me the guitar. Free or otherwise, but keep an eye out when I review my new Swiffer and my new one of these. I’ll explain the picture some other time.)
December 17, 2006 | All Me All Day
As Chris so delicately put it a mere 12 days ago:
Yep, that’s right - it’s my birthday. I’m not telling you how old though. No, really. Well…okay…okay. I’ll give you a hint. It rhymes with dirty whore.
Yes, apparently I am 12 whole days younger than Chris, which is great because it allows me to steal his jokes instead of making up my own. Neat, huh?
For my birthday I got a 2 month Netflix gift subscription, so I think it fair to say that I will be ranting and raving about movies for the next two weeks.
Lucky you guys.
I would also like to take a moment to brag that even with my mid-thirties status I have been id’d (can you even say id’d? Is that a word? How would you spell it? Ided?) three times this week alone. I wonder if this is at all related to the fact that I really want this for Christmas.
Probably not, but it seemed like a good segue to show everyone the Hello Kitty guitar.
I realize that by the time most of you will read this it will technically be the day after my birthday (a.k.a the 18th). I am okay with that. Let’s discuss what you would have bought me if we knew each other in real life.
(ps - If you are reading this on the 17th, go wish Becky and Kate happy birthday too.)
December 15, 2006 | Other Bloggers, Sports, Who are the People in Your Neighborhood?
Since I started Sarah and the Goon Squad a year and a half ago I have met several friends through blogging. On Monday I went to a meeting where I had the pleasure of meeting Aviva, Elisa, Heather B., and Mary.
Not even including all of the people I met in San Jose at BlogHer ‘06, I have had the pleasure of meeting this guy, and her, and her, and her, and her. When I was in Florida I went out drinking with these people and I’ve become such good friends with these two that sometimes I forget I knew their blogs before I knew them.
I don’t even know WHAT to say about her, excpet that she has become not only a good friend, but also my IT person.
Tomorrow is going to take the cake. Nancy, who I only met briefly at BlogHer is taking me to a hockey game. Woo Hoo! We are going to go see the Caps play the Flyers. (As Erin said “You get to see Ovenchicken live in person!”, yes she calls him Ovenchicken and it cracks me up every single time.)
So anyway, if you happen to be watching the game tomorrow night and see something that looks kind of like this (but replace Izzy with Nancy) it is probably us.
I’m telling you I love this interweb. It has been a really great way to meet friends, even if it is kind of embarrassing to admit to non-bloggers that you met on the internet.
(No Devra, I am not forgetting you. Remember I met you through Becky first.)
(And yes, it took me an hour to add all those links. I love you people.)
December 14, 2006 | Parenting, The Blue One, The Pink One
I haven’t been writing about it much because I keep hoping it will go away if I don’t talk about it but Ian has some sort of virus. He hasn’t been to school all week (you know, all two days that are involved in a two year olds school week) and Claudia only went to preschool on Tuesday because I had to co-op in their class that day.
Somehow Claudia has avoided coming down with whatever snot monster disease her brother has contracted. (Where is some wood to knock on?) I think all this being cooped up is making her sort of stir crazy (see my post from earlier today).
Fair Warning: Barf Talk Ahead
Ian doesn’t know how to blow his nose yet. Gabe and I have really been trying to teach him how and would love any suggestions you have on the subject, but in the meantime congestion means throwing up a lot. I am also working on getting him to puke in the toilet instead of all over the carpet like he normally does. This involves me saying things I never thought I would say like “Good job, throwing up in the toilet. I am very proud of you.” and “You can spit into the potty anytime you need to.” (I know I’ll regret that last one later.)
As a bonus, Gabe and I are also sick, which is awesome because we are going out for a very fancy dinner to celebrate my birthday tomorrow night. This isn’t the kind of restaurant where you can just change your reservation casually.
So earlier I was throwing up and Claudia stood in the bathroom doorway saying things like “Wow Mommy! That was a really big one!”
Fantastic. They don’t tell you about things like that in any of the parenting books I have read. I was actually barfing and replying “Yeah, It was a big one. Thanks, Honey.”
Oh, and Claudia keeps asking me to read her the calendar. No. You heard it right. She wants me to read her the calendar that came with the “Highlights Magazine” today, that I assume someone gave the twins a subscription to for Christmas. She refuses to believe that it isn’t a book.
Like I said, some days are more surreal than others.
The Pink One
Claudia is insisting on dressing herself this morning. She refuses any help whatsoever.
The madness began about 25 minutes ago when she stripped down completely naked even taking off her brand new clean diaper.
At least I got her to put on a Pull Up. I don’t think she has the motor skills to diaper herself yet.
Did I mention both children insited on picking out their own outfits? Ian is wearing shorts. It is December 14th. It’s 45 degrees outside. It’s not freezing, but it certainly isn’t weather.
28 minutes now. Claudia just let me help her put her socks on but she still isn’t wearing any pants.
I’m glad we don’t have anywhere we need no go today.
(But you should all go buy raffle tickets to Her Bad Auction. It raises money for Muscular Distrophy and Her Bad Mother’s nephew, Tanner who is suffering from this disorder.)
December 13, 2006 | Music, Other Bloggers, Parenting, The Pink One
December 11, 2006 | Randomness, Searching
This video makes me wish we had two more kids. Seriously, can I borrow two of your offspring to form an Iron Maiden cover band? We’ll call it Children of the Damned. (Thanks, Markkkk)
Wii Have a Problem. (Thanks Frank Sucks)
I got a hit from this search last week: “When I am using the bathroom it really hurts.” I feel really bad for this person, but if I would like to suggest to all of you that if it really hurts when you go to the bathroom the correct response would be to go see your doctor and not google searching it. Okay? Can we all agree on this?
I got another hit with this question: “When you sniff anti depressants what does it do to you [sic]“. Assuming you mean snort, I don’t know. I’m going to guess make you less depressed faster. If you just smell them nothing happens.
Any other questions?
Oh, and one more thing - I just stole this from Roger, because how often do you see a billboard that reads “Chlamydia Capital of Canada. Woo Hoo. Get Tested. It’s as easy as 1-2-Pee”?
December 10, 2006 | Other Bloggers
Go wish The Queen and The Kaiser happy birthdays. That’s right. Not only are their names homophones (Erin and Aaron) but their birthdays are exactly one day apart. His birthday was yesterday and hers is today.
Keep in mind that Aaron is waaaaaaaaaay older than me. (Eight whole days.)
Why do I bring this up? This means that you have exactly one week to finish all of your shopping for my birthday present. I’m just sayin’.
December 8, 2006 | The Pink One
When we were at my parents house I was trying to get the kids really talking.
I said “Tell Grandma and Grandpa where we go grocery shopping.”
In a perfectly clear full sentance Claudia said “We go to the wine store”.
Thanks a lot for ratting me out.
Jerk.
