She Doesn’t Want Me to Have Diarrhea. I Guess that is a Good Thing.

I don’t really want to be one of those Mommybloggers that talks about poop all of the time, but sometimes these things come up. Especially since I’m in the middle of very half-assed attempt at potty training The Goon Squad.

Really, my current method of potty training is talking about pee and poop all day and watching “Elmo’s Potty Time” four or five times a week. It also involves me making loud statements every time I have to use the bathroom like “I AM GOING TO GO PEE ON THE POTTY LIKE A BIG GIRL!”

So, Claudia followed me into the bathroom this morning, which is completely normal. I am rarely in the bathroom alone, and when I am companionless, I am generally nervous about what the two of them are doing so quietly. The strange part is what she said to me.

“Mommy, be careful pooping.”

“Why?” I asked her.

“I don’t want you to get diarrhea.” says my two year old. My children are obsessed with diarrhea. (I don’t know where they get that?)

Whatever. I am choosing to think that it is sweet that Claudia is concerned with my well-being.

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  1. That is so funny. Gabriel was hysterical yesterday because he learned the words “hershey squirt”. Next time I need to be more careful what I say around him!

  2. That’s hysterical!

  3. Well, I’m sure you’ll be more successful than I am…so when you get BOTH twins to potty train…e-mail me and tell me exactly what you did…because I am friggin’ stupmed.

    I mean really, how many times a day can I announce to anyone who will listen that I have to make a pee pee or a poopee…Jesus H. christ!

  4. That is actually kind of sweet! We’re still potty training one of the twins and it seems to drag on forever – but I have hope that he will be done by the time he graduates college! As for the comments, three boys in my house and with the 6 year old coming home with potty jokes, the little boys picking up on it, that’s about all we hear these days…

  5. Wait until they get to the slightly older stage where they want to talk about that stuff, not out of concern, but because they think it’s hys-TER-i-cal!

  6. Well, that’s pretty sweet. ‘Round here, no-one gives a rat’s ass whether I get diarrhea or whatever rectal malady. NOBODY.

  7. I only wish my kids actually did nice sweet things that make me think they care.

    Mine wait until I am just about to sit and scream “Mummy don’t sit down”. I freeze, convinced there is some big fat hairy spider or similar on the seat. I look, and then demand to know why I am not allowed to sit down and use the loo. “You can’t Mum, your butt is too big, you are gunna break the loo”


    It’s funny now, but at the time, I could have killed my eldest child with glee!

  8. Right now the running joke (um no pun intended) is if anyone asks my kids, “Where is___________?” the answer will be “Up your butt and around the corner.” (Thankfully they know this only flies under our roof and will NOT be happenin’ at school.)

    I concur PunditMom, the next few years will be an adventure for Sarah and the GS. I never imagined I would implore “Please tell me where my car keys are. I know full well they are NOT up my butt and around the corner.”

  9. You had me at diarrhea.

    (I thought this would somehow turn into a post about Peter Pan and salmonella. Bless you for not taking the easy way out and keepin’ it real)

  10. That’s so sweet that they are concerned with mommy’s bowels. Remind them of this when they’re older and think they think they are too cool for you.

  11. Ha! That’s great. We’re not there yet but I’m taking notes!

  12. i think i love your daughter.

  13. Oh no! The peanut butter people got to her!

    Your kids (and you) crack me up girl. Have a great weekend.

  14. I think she’s on to something. What a wonderful thing to wish someone. Really, more people should express that sentiment.

    Claudia should contact Hallmark. I know *I’d* love to get one of those cards!

  15. that’s awesome. when zoe was about claudia’s age, she thought diarrhea was a lady who lived in the potty. she thought it was a pretty name :) she still laughs about that story!

  16. Sounds like progress, though … and thanks for the Elmo/potty recommendation! We got ours from Netflix last week and it’s quickly become a favorite (because hey, any TV is fun, and this is available). I’m hoping that we’ll make progress soon!

    Um, this clinches it. While I was typing that and Widget was playing in the bathroom after his shower (he’s 2.5, and I agreed to allow him to stay in there and splash, just this once), KARMA caught up with me. Widget came and got me, saying, see, see! Walk. Meaning come in here and see something, Mom. Well, I did. Well, it was poop.

    Poop on the floor of my shower. THANKS A LOT! I blame karma. And Elmo. Why not?

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