My new friend Beth was being bold the other day, and instead of doing the ubiquitous “5 Weird Things About Me” meme she challenged her readers to ask “outrageous, inappropriate, entertaining, or just plain hilarious (to me) questions” and she would answer them instead. So I, being what I thought was terribly clever (and knowing full well that her mother reads her blog) asked where she lost her virginity.
She answered the question (and some other entertaining questions) and then threw these questions back in our faces.
What I am trying to say is that she tagged those of use who asked questions to answer our own questions along with five others from her comments section.
Since I did the five weird things meme already (way back in the olden days when it was still six weird things) consider this my new improved answer.
If you are my mother, mother-in-law, one of my children (in the future) or Gabe now would be a good time to look away.
1) Where were you when you lost your virginity?
Like Beth, I was on a waterbed. Unlike Beth, I didn’t have any black light.
2) Have you ever had an out of body experience? Please describe in detail.
Yes. One time in high school, I was completely exhausted. I was involved in about 10 too many activities and I was still going out a lot and getting very little sleep. I was in my bed getting ready to go to sleep and my mind went completely blank (which I read later is a big apart of it) and I realized that I was sort of “floating” (for lack of a better word) above my bed. Above myself. As soon as I realized what was going on it was as if I snapped back down into my body. It really freaked me out.
3) When was your most embarrassing fart and who got to “enjoy” it?
Oh, this is a good one. Okay, one time we were in Orlando for homecoming (this was pre-Squad times) was had been drinking like crazy all weekend and eating total garbage. It was after the football game and the plan was that we would all go to our rooms and get cleaned up for dinner. My stomach was a mess. I’d been drinking Miller Light in plastic bottles all day. You know what that can do to a person.
Tammy and Ritch were staying two doors down the hall from us and we were going to just meet them in the hall and go down to the lobby to meet the rest of the gang. Gabe opened up the door to our hotel room and I said “Are they out there yet?” He said “No” and then I let out the loudest, raunchiest fart of all time. Then Gabe closed the door.
He said “No, Tammy and Ritch aren’t out there, but other people are.
I still laugh so hard I cry every single time I think about that.
4) Do you, or have you ever watched porn with Chris? Was it hot or weird?
No. In fact, I’ve never even met Chris. (For those of you who are confused, Chris is Beth’s husband and all of the questions were directed towards her.)
If you want to know if I have ever watched porn with Gabe then the answer is yes.
5) Complete this sentence: In my refrigerator/kitchen/pantry, you can always find:
That is it. Feel free to play along. I guess this is also an appropriate time to open up the floor to other embarrassing questions. Have at me. (That sounded way dirtier than I what I meant. ) I tag no one. I feel I’ve learned a valuable lesson about karma.
Oh, and screw you, Beth. Nicely played, but still. Screw you.