What are you doing on Sunday?

What am I doing on Sunday?

I’m flying to Florida with The Goon Squad. Just the three of us.

Just me and two three year olds.

On an airplane.

I’m scared.

Hold me.

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  1. In a word…bribes (fruit snacks, sticker books, silly putty, yadda yadda yadda.)

    And just one word for you…liquor.

    Good luck. Stay strong! 😉

  2. You’re braver than me! We took the girls (2.5y) to Europe and will go to California next week. But always with two of us. Alone? Oops.

    Are you taking car seats for them?

  3. Tequila works.

  4. Before Sweet Pea turned 2 years old, she had flown 21 times. My uncle managed an airport for many years, so my aunt gave me tons of tips on flying with kids (she had four of them).

    First of all, hie thee to the nearest dollar store. Procure many small, relatively quiet, hand-held games and toys. Do not let the kids see them before you leave — newness is the key here. The equation should go something like this: for every twenty minutes in the air, plan on a new activity. Times two, of course. They can switch, but toys they’ve already seen tend to cut the interest time down to 10 minutes. If I were better in algebra, I could totally write up the equation.

    Sit as close as possible to the back of the plane. The noise will drown out much of their noise and, if they get really restless, you can get up and stand around near the bathrooms. Which you’re closer to. And sometimes the noise was enough to lull Sweet Pea to a brief nap.

    Apologize to everyone around you before the plane even takes off. Most people are pretty understanding and if my apologies are genuine, they know it.

    You’ll need a Xanax for each flight. The kids can pick up on your tension, so you need to stay loose.

    Drinks in sippy cups (you’ll have to take them dry and pour stuff in them these days) will help relieve the pressure in their ears.

    If the flight down is particularly heinous, don’t rule out a touch of Children’s Motrin Nighttime for the trip back. I know, I know… I’m driving the bus to Mom Hell.

    If you have a layover in Atlanta, call me and I’ll bring my 5-year-old to wear out your kids. And I’ll bring the Xanax.

  5. Just found you through Blogmad.

    Alright, I don’t have kids but I did flew with kids around many times. Relax. Remember :

    1) Most adult sleep after the tale off
    2) You’ll never see the passengers of the flight ever again, whatever your kids do.


  6. Ummm, that doesn’t sound smart.

    Good luck and have fun!

  7. Good luck. If nothing else you’ll have entertaining stories to share with us.

  8. Good luck!

  9. You’re a BRAVE woman!! Good luck!

  10. I hope it went well!

  11. SUCKA!!!!

  12. You flew alone with me and you were fine.

  13. Devra,
    You are at least 30% less wicked than Claudia.

  14. Fill two bookbags to the brim with toys and snacks … it will be fine. Really. Can’t wait to get hear this story when you return! Have a great time. Try to relax and enjoy the flights.

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