We interrupt our normal schedule of drunken rants to talk trash.
Tonight is the Blog Pound fantasy football draft. In honor of this, I present you with a list of people whose money will be mine come January.
(In alphabetical order - just like on Dallas)
So what should I buy?
I know that you people voted almost unanimously for drunken rants from my vacation instead of guest posts, but I just read my last two posts.
After I fixed a bunch of spelling errors (at least now my post from yesterday makes more sense - sort of) I began wondering if you aren’t regretting your choice.
You can still request guest posters. Actually, if you want I could probably even peer pressure Aunt Bob and LHM into guest posting live from my laptop.
Now that I’m thinking more about it, odds are that it would just be more drunken ranting anyway.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll just post pictures.
If you are playing the drinking game ‘categories’ and the category ‘One of your toes’ comes up, just yell “THE ONE THAT ATE ROAST BEEF!”
And this lunatic will spit beer right out of her nose.
This other jerk keeps making me drink. What kind of freak shows play drinking Chutes and Ladders and knows every square?
Note to self: Don’t go on vacation with people you meet on the internet.
They make you drink lots of beer.
I don’t mean this in the good way.
You wanted drunken rants?
Go tell Lumpyhead’s Mom happy birthday, even though that jerk made me do a shot when I lost at poker.
The Goon Squad made it through the six hour drive. They fell asleep 15 minutes before we got to the house.
Hmph.
More rants later. I’ve got to get back in the game.
Pictures to follow.
Is Castro dead or not?
I’m driving the kids to beach this week and I went to the dollar store to try to find them some toys for the beach and some crap to keep them occupied on the five or six hour drive.
Believe it or not, I went to three dollar stores on Friday, thus tripling the amount of dollar stores I have ever entered in one 24 hour period. I was looking for flippers and snorkels for the kids. Another kid had a pair of flippers at the pool last week and The Squad went nuts.
After this pilgrimage to three local stores full of junk, I have a couple of questions in regards to dollar stores.
1) Why do all dollar stores smell like B.O.?
2) Why don’t any of the stores have flippers?
3) Why do you have Christmas decorations up in August? It’s a million degrees outside. Doesn’t it make more sense to sell pool stuff?
4) How can a dollar store survive in every single strip mall in Northern Virginia?
5) Why do I even bother going into dollar stores? I never find anything good, and now I am too paranoid to buy any cheap toys for the kids, since everything has already been recalled.
I haven’t done a meme in a long time. It isn’t that I mean to not do them, it is just that I forget, and then lose the link or e-mail or whatever. If you tag me and I blow you off, just remind me. I’ll try to get around to it.
What I am trying to tell you is this. Shash tagged me with the eight random facts meme, and although I am breaking the rules by 1) not posting the rules themselves and 2) not tagging anybody else, I don’t really have anything good to write about today, so here are eight completely random things about me.
1) As I type this I can hear my daughter accusing my son of pooping in his pants. Awesome.
2) I was walking around without shoes on this morning and my feet are really dirty.
3) In Jr. High my room was covered in pictures of Duran Duran that I got out of Tiger Beat. Later these pictures were replaced with pictures of Motley Crue, Ratt and other hair metal bands.
4) No matter what Gabe says, I did go to an accredited college. Yes, you heard me, UCF is accredited.
5) I am left handed.
6) As much as I am shocked and offended by what Mike Vick did, I am still glad I got a chance to see him play football in person last year.
7) I hate mustard.
The name for my iTunes folder is Dick LeBeau. It isn’t that I have any especially strong feeling towards the coach, I just think it is a hilarious name. Our hard drive is Ted Danson and our back up drives are Bill and Ted.
Feel free to play along if you are bored, but no pressure.
(How the heck did that smiley face get there? It is supposed to be the number eight.)
I had my first fantasy football draft last night and I got Willis McGahee in the fourth round.
WILLIS MCGAHEE IN THE FOURTH ROUND.
Granted, there were only eight teams, but still, I feel kind of like a badass.
I also got Larry Johnson with the fifth pick.
Am I going to kill these people or what? I am almost sad it isn’t for money.
(Hi guys!)
Well, it is looking like everyone prefers drunken rants to guest posts. Consider it done and done. Now, I have to go get ready for my first fantasy football draft, so I give you Randomness Part 86:
There is no way these guys are going to heaven.
Speaking of not going to heaven, Devra sent me this link to a picture of Billy Graham with Devil Horns. The subject line in the e-mail said: Re: I know you have a thing about “Devil Horns which just so happens to be true.
I love Jeopardy! but I hate Celebrity Jeopardy.
I really had the feeling that writing for eight blogs wasn’t enough. So keep an eye out for the launch of D.C. Metro Moms Blog.
The Kaiser sent me this awesome list that is the 101 rules of black metal. I don’t know who wrote the list, but the #1 rule is “Don’t be gay” and #19 is “Sodomize a virgin whore”. You know - just so you know what you are getting into.
Next week I will be vacationing at the beach. Here is my question for you. Would you prefer guest posts from coherent people, or sporadic drunken rants from me?
I’ll leave it up to the commenters. Normally, this place is a cheerocracy, but for today it will be a democracy.
