I’m THAT Mom

So far my kids have had three days of school. Well, one half day and two full days.

So far Ian has pooped in his pants every single day of school. The first two days he wore underpants.

Yesterday, the director of the school asked me to please bring him to school in pull ups. Not his teacher, the director.  So, I am THAT mom. I am the one mom of the only two three year olds in the class that aren’t potty trained.

I am actually trying to decide if I should be embarrassed, frustrated, or if I should just laugh and be glad I didn’t have to change him those three times.

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  1. I’d be pissed the teacher had to rat you out instead of talking to you herself.

  2. Oh that expectation of kids being potty trained by three gets me all fired up. Son #3 who is 3 1/2 still isn’t ready. When he is, he’ll just do it. I’ve learned not to fight it. It’s not worth the headache.

    Just laugh. Boys always take longer.

    Dear School: What’s the damn rush??!!!


  3. Be glad they didn’t kick him out for not being potty trained (and then be glad you didn’t have to clean him up!).

    I’m sure he’ll get the hang of it within a few weeks of watching the other kids. We couldn’t get Will to use the toilet at home at all, but once he started watching the other kids at preschool, he “got it” and we didn’t really have to train him at all.

  4. I pick “C” – laugh and be glad because you didnt have to clean it up.

  5. Three is so little. I say laugh and buy the pullups.

  6. I say you are lucky they either haven’t kicked him out or started charging you more. They have programs in our area that won’t allow the kids in unless they are “completely” potty-trained (whatever that means).

    On the flip side, I’ve changed 4 poopy pants in 3 days – and yes, mine are supposedly potty-trained.

  7. When I first saw this post I thought you were going to say you sent him to school without his underwear one day.

    Yep I’m THAT mom (my 5-year-old will STILL not let me forget that I forget to make sure she was wearing undies last year one day for daycare.)

    OOOps. 😉

  8. I think he’s doing it on purpose, just to yank your chain.

  9. It’s probably the teacher’s fault.

  10. I’m right there with you, but we’re not even to the underwear stage.

  11. Scratch that. We have. Sort of. Only my PINK girl insists on wearing her pink underwear OVER her diaper. No shorts. Just diaper and pink underwear. (At home. She hasn’t gone to school that way.)

  12. If you didn’t have to change them, I’d be doin’ the happy dance!

  13. If you go with the misery loves company tale, I’ll tell you about my little girl who ended up with that horrid rotovirus that ran through her — ran through her — just as she was starting school. The first two days, we thought she was having “accidents.” Then we realized what it was. She was out for two weeks. They wouldn’t take her back until there were no more accidents. She just learned to poop in her pull-up at home. And did that for more than a year and a half before she finally mastered doing that in the toilet at a very late age.

  14. I’d frame it that you’re the one mom of three year olds who is letting the babies do what they are ready for and not forcing society’s limits on when you must be able to do something on them (I’m sure that would make me feel better to tell myself, at least!). Of course, I’m currently the one mother showing up 3 times a day at work-based daycare to nurse my babies (can I still call them babies after 12 months?).

  15. I think your son is waiting to poop until you leave (just ask Aunt Bob – ha ha!). It’s a pretty good trick, really.

  16. You are not the only one. I taught at a preschool. It’s common in fact. Especially with boys. I had boys who weren’t fully potty trained until they were four. It’s not until they notice that no one else around them still has pull-ups and they care, then they all stop doing it. Plus playing is so much more fun than pooping.

    Yes, on felling happy he was in school when it happened.

  17. Be joyful it wasn’t on your watch…and every preschool we’ve gone to knows boys and girls at this age aren’t all 100%.

    Using My Words

  18. Have you mentioned to Ian and Claudia they are the only ones who aren’t trained? Not in a “you suck kids, you aren’t trained” kind of way but in a “hey, guess what I learned from the director today.” kind of way.

    I found when I mentioned, always in passing never in a direct manner, to my son who was training resistant, that I suspected the other kids were wearing underwear, that did speed up the process. Could be worth a shot.

    Or a shot could be worth it and you should just have a drink.

  19. Don’t be silly, the child is brilliant.

    He’s setting low expectations so that he can dazzle them later without exerting much effor — he’s a boy with a plan.

    Hang in there

  20. Don’t worry about it! My oldest daughter wasn’t potty trained until three. I knew she could do it but didn’t want to. . . so suddenly there was a sign on McDonald’s Playland that said “No Diapers Allowed.” It was very devastating and disappointing for the little one. We went home, she sat on the potty and that was that. It’s a battle of wills at this point, and it’s a battle that’s pointless in fighting. They’ll do it when they’re ready.

  21. Oh won’t this be funny when it’s in the Past Tense!

  22. Like De in DC said, I’m sure once they see the other kids using the potty, they’ll want to as well.

    Have you tried bribes? That worked with our daughter. But I’m DREADING potty training my son.

  23. I feel your pain. My daughter struggled until 4. I say go with option #3.

  24. Laugh, send him in the PullUps and remember what a friend said–kids don’t go to high school in diapers, so he’ll figure it out eventually.

    Oh, I also recommend sending some ‘ludes to the director, and if that doesn’t work, make this a teachable moment by leaving a flaming bag of poop on her doorstep and ringing the doorbell.

    I think this is why Mama won’t leave me alone with 3B.

  25. By the time he’s 21 he’ll know to go to the bathroom on the toilet….hopefully! :)

  26. Don’t be surprised if this isn’t Ian’s response to the new situation of preschool. Toileting is all about controlling the situation – especially with boys. I agree with Devra that positive comparisons with his classmates will influence him. Soft peer prerssure of seeing where the other kids are will hlep too.

  27. Just laugh. Sometimes its all you can do.

  28. Don’t sweat it.

    Change is hard. It effects all of their moods…pottying too.

  29. Erin can totally feel you pain. She was so embarrassed when my boss told her to send me to work in diapers after I shit myself for a week straight. It was really tough on everyone.

  30. Fully 50% of all three year olds are NOT potty trained, so this “rule” by the teacher/director/school is a bit arbitrary and not developmentally grounded. I did away with it as a Director of a preschool.

    BUT the kids who entered the three year old room? Started to CRAVE being potty trained, cause their friends were showing off their cool big kid underwear, doing their potty thing..

    And, while I am up on my Early Childhood Expert High Horse, Change makes young kids regress for a couple of weeks. Emily went back into diapers for two weeks when she transitioned to the three year old room – then was all done with them.

    Let me know if you want me to write a fancy manifesto with lots of Early Childhood words that will scare the shit out of the school.

  31. I think I’ve “talked” to you about this before, but I’m really laid back about the whole potty training thing. Or at least I was before school started back this year. My kids are still in the “nursery” side of the daycare (which I LOVE), but will be going to the preschool side next year when they are three. One of my coworkers’ kids just started the preschool side this year. Apparently, if you have 6 accidents over there, you are “expelled” from the preschool. 6 accidents! Seriously!!! I’m starting to get a little more worried.

  32. Maybe he was just making a statement to The Man (or WoooMan as it were) about how he feels about The Establishment. You might just have an activist on your hands. Stand tall in that PullUp, my brotha!

  33. Don’t feel bad. I am THAT mom too at our preschool. My daughter who is 4, been potty trained for over a year, did not make it to the potty at school when she had to poop. She got caught up in playing, and apparently was “mortified” according to the school staff. The same day, my 3 year old who has been potty trained since the Spring would not pee at school, after being there 6 hours. I walked in on the director and a teacher at the school talking about them in the office when I went in to pay my tuition. Lovely.

  34. Aaron poops at work and Hala pees on my carpet. Its great fun around these parts.

  35. Vacuous Vulgarities says:

    Sam wasn’t even allowed to go to the school that we had picked out because he’s still in pull ups. He REFUSES under any circumstance to sit on the potty. No bribe has worked. So now he’s at a daycare, where even though he turned 3 in late June, we’re paying the two year old rate for him until he’s potty trained.

    Maybe superglue would work?

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