If You Pay Attention it Makes Sense

Besides just having fabulous metabolisms and growing up as well as out, I have often wondered how little kids can eat so much garbage (Claudia pretty much exists on a diet of pasta, grilled cheese, cereal, french fries and goldfish – Dr. Atkins is spinning in his grave) and stay so thin.

Today it hit me. If you dance around like a lunatic every time somebody gives you a graham cracker just because you are so excited to eat that graham cracker you probably won’t be gaining a bunch of weight.

I’m starting a new diet plan today. Every time  I go to grab a beer I’ll do a little happy dance. This way I figure:

1) I’ll burn off the bonus calories. 

2) It counts as cardio.

3) It will please the beer Gods.

What do you think? Who is in?


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  1. I’ll be joining you…in approximately 64 minutes. That’s time to leave work, get to the post office, pick up kids from school, and arrive back at home to supervise the finishing of twin homework (while popping open a nice icy cold Blue Moon)….and repeatedly walking the puppy. That counts as cardio, too, right?

    You’re a genius!

  2. I’ll join you. Do you suppose it works for Oreo Cakesters too?

  3. Definitely a genius idea. I like this better than the “walking” suggestion…I have yet to get the pedometer ON my body.
    Since the beer fridge is in the garage, hopefully the neighbors won’t call the authorities when they see my new exercise routine!

  4. It counts as cardio? I have got to see your happy beer dance. (Is it anything like Aunt Bob’s Little Guy’s dances? Because those are awesome.) Video, please.

  5. Before you do, kick off the Steve Maddens and strap on the Chucks–better ankle support, plus they’re more durable, so you won’t be blowing through a pair of shoes every week.

  6. Count me in…..
    Wine too

  7. I’m in

  8. All the other tailgaters may point and laugh at me, but I’m in! I’ve got a LOT of dancing to do to catch up from the past couple of weeks though.

  9. Yeah, Bossy once heard a dietician say that if we all moved like children – hop instead of walk, jump instead of sleep, crawl and shimmy and bounce and prod instead of blog, we’d burn calories too.

  10. It can’t hurt.

    Or could it? I just sprained a finger typing this.

  11. I’m already disturbingly thin, but I like doing happy dances. Count me in!

  12. Count me in.

  13. Did you say beer? I’m in. Oh and I have to dance to. Well alright. Whatever it takes…

  14. I’ll dance tonight. And tomorrow. And the next day…

  15. Dance away Sarah, but wouldn’t it also be nice to really know the nutritional values of the beers you drink. I’m not talking about light beers. No, I’m talking about tasty European imports and hand-crafted beers.

  16. I’ll join you from afar. I’ve been meaning to buy “Dance Dance Revolution”, but have been embarrassed to. But if it’s to burn calories, I only hope my knees will hold up…


  17. I’m in. The hopping around will keep the beer gut in check.

  18. I’ll dance and drink with you, but only if you are dressed like Gnome. You know why.

  19. I’m in.

    When I want to lose weight I watch Morgan for a day. Then, for the next 30 days I do the exact same thing.

    Easily, 20 lbs are gone like THAT.

  20. I think I could get little guy to create a dance for you. “The frosty beverage” might be a cross between the “fish” and the “mystery 3000.”

  21. brilliant. absolutely brilliant.

  22. I’m in. Let’s boogie.

  23. I am so in. Plus, you know, you can add in the exercise you get lifting the beer to your lips. Beerobics. That’s my fitness plan!

  24. I don’t drink beer, so here’s my modified version.

    I’ll do the happy dance whenever an adorable woman agrees to go out with me. I think I’d like to lose about 25 lbs in that method.

  25. Excellent thought. I wonder if I can make up a gin n tonic dance?

  26. Kenneth, I don’t fix people up, but if I did, you would be first in line. A guy who describes a woman with the adjective “adorable” instead of using ones like “sexy” or “hot” sounds like a winner to me!

  27. You should write a book with your new genius diet idea!

  28. Put the beer down before you dance. Otherwise you’ll spray it all over yourself and the reason to dance will be wasted. 😉

  29. I don’t know about weight loss, but pleasing the beer gods is always a good idea.

  30. you know what it is with kids too?
    those child sized bowls and plates only fit a wee amount of food. i was thinking i should eat my pasta out of those from now on…i’d be so skinny!

  31. This may be the greatest idea in the history of mankind.

  32. You left off “free entertainment for family” LOL

    Count me IN!

    I do crazy little happy dances just because…if there is booze in it, I have been missing out!

    Using My Words

  33. this might be the best idea ever.

  34. Now that I think of it, I have pictures of friends dancing with their beverage of choice ON THEIR HEAD! I think that definitely qualifies as a happy dance — and one of them could actually get from a completely upright position, down onto her stomach, do 3 pushups, and get completely upright again. Wish I could forward you pix, you’d definitely get a kick out of them. Especially the 80s hair that contributed in a positive way to the entire beer-dance phenomena.

    Did I mention that this was done during college? Ahhhh, what fond memories of binge-ing bliss….

  35. We’ve always said that if we followed our kids around for a few days, we’d be as thin as them too. They run to get food, the run to the TV, they run away from me, they run to get into bed, they run everywhere. I wonder when we lose all that energy?

  36. Cena Brown says:

    Dara, we lose that energy when we have children. They suck it out of us.

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