Search Terms of The Week
Hey, let’s stop talking about how sick I am. Let us instead talk about the whack job searches that have brought people to my little site: Search Term That Freaked Me the F Out: my pet snake isn’t eating and sleeping beside me – Is anyone else getting hundreds of hits a month by people [...]
Doctor, Doctor Gimme the News
Oh. Good. God. So I go to the doctor. Well, we go to the doctor. (Just one of the joys of being a stay at home mom.) As soon as I check in Claudia has to pee in the potty. Don’t get me wrong, I love it that she is peeing in the potty (finally) [...]
Uncle
I give up. I’ve had the flu for over two weeks. I’ve coughed so hard that I pulled enough muscles in my side that it actually hurts to breathe. I’m going to the doctor. I know – it is weak to go to the doctor for the flu, but I have no choice. I can [...]
Randomness Part 104
Most interesting search term this week: I decided it was time to taste my first penis. Runner Up: Miley Cyrus poops her pants. 2nd runner up: stalking is super duper fun I seriously wonder who is taking the time to type these things into google. Speaking of stalking, I’m thinking that when the kids go [...]
She is Only 3
I thought I had more time. I really did. I’m not looking forward to the teen years, but I thought I had at least 9 more years to worry about it. Nope. It happened this morning. Claudia told me that I ruined her entire life. She even said it with perfect angst: You ruined my [...]
This Time I Will Answer the Question
Q: What kind of lunatic voluntarily pees demands to use the restroom in the grocery store, but pees in her pants when she is 15 feet away from her own, freshly cleaned bathroom and maybe 5 or 6 feet away from a training potty? A: This kind: [picture disappeared when photrade suddenly shut down] I [...]
Sure, Whatever You Say
Here is how Claudia was telling off her brother earlier: “All of my babies are going to poop in the potty today! IN NEW JERSEY!” Burn him. I guess.
Answer Me This: The Movie Version
You people really seem to like answering random questions. This will be a regular feature. If you see random questions come up it is probably because I am trying not to write about vomit or butt holes, also possibly because I am still sick and my head hurts too bad to come up with anything [...]
Silver Lining
After all of this sickness and suffering through the stupid flu – after being puked on and coughed at for three weeks – I am wearing my skinny jeans.
What The Hell is Sarah Reading? Episode 2
I still have this stupid cold/flu/scurvy whatever-the-hell is making me miserable. I am to tired to be clever, so instead we will play a little game called What the Hell is Sarah Reading? (You may remember this game from Episode 1: The pig fisting episode. Thank you Anthony Bourdain.) This one should be a little [...]
A Parallel
I think I am finally getting over this damn flu. But you know what I was thinking? Having the flu was a lot like being pregnant. Behold: 1) Both times I threw up a lot. 2) Both times I felt hungover, but I wasn’t drinking. 3) Both times I thought I might be dying. 4) [...]
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