Randomness Part 109

Note to self: Marry, then divorce Paul McCartney.


Yesterday when I was in the shower I suddenly remembered the secret handshake and password for my sorority.*


After minimal begging, Alltop has seen fit to add me to the Moms page.** I’d like to thank Guy Kawasaki for caving.


If somebody told you that their “pee was blocking their poop” meaning that they couldn’t poop in the potty. What would you say?

I went with “Well then pee first.”

It seemed to do the trick.


When you use quotation marks where are you supposed to put the damn period? I don’t have my MLA handbook handy.


* Then I found out I was sorority sisters with Ann Coulter. I feel dirty.

**So, if like me, you are a mere mediocre blogger trying to hang with the big dogs, all you have to do is ask politely. Twice.

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  1. period inside quotation marks. always. unless you’re british. then, never.

  2. I’m TOTALLY mediocre!

  3. You can call me, 'Sir' says:

    I hate it when the pee blocks the poop. Also, your sorority had a secret handshake? Also also, you were in a sorority? I didn’t think they accepted women who listened to heavy metal.

  4. What CASE said.

  5. @Case – half correct.

    Dear Sarah,

    The period goes inside quotation marks UNLESS the punctuation is your own (not part of the original quotation).


    Emily the Perpetual College Student

  6. I love your “note to self” – when you’re done with him can I have him?

  7. Generally speaking, all punctuation falls INSIDE the quotes. That’ll get you through most situations. Now, I have to go pee so I can poop.

  8. Periods and commas always always always in quotation marks.

  9. I think I’ll have to start Twitter stalking Guy to get on that Alltop thing.

  10. Yeah…I told my husband that I’d definitely sleep with Paul McCartney for four years if I got $50 million out of the deal. Then I paused and said, “*You’d* sleep with Paul for four years if….” and he said, “I certainly would.”

    Punctuation inside of quotes. If you internalize this rule well enough, it will completely screw you up if you eventually become a programmer and need to separate strings with commas.

  11. Re: what Cobwebs said, this may be why I know the rule, but still have trouble putting my commas inside the quotation marks these days. I’m a former English major who’s now a programmer. :-)

  12. What sorority did you belong to?

    Wow, if all it takes is a little e-mail pressure, I’ll be e-mailing Guy, too. I’m way mediocre, so I may have to throw in a few bribes, too.

  13. Period goes inside the quotation marks, I know this because I have a tendency to do it the other way and Aviva sends me hate mail when I do. She’s such a grammar bitch!

  14. I’m the king of mediocre. Ann Coulter is your sorority sister? That sucks!

  15. You’re going have get in line when it comes to marrying Sir Paul. Even my hubby is encouraging it…

  16. When I was a kid, word on the street was if you peed and pooped at the same time, you’d get a brain tumor. Thankfully, they were wrong.

  17. Great…I’ve been doing it wrong for 30 years. I blame the nuns.

  18. I work at a law firm and we are required to put the period inside the quotes no matter what.

  19. My MLA buried somewhere here, but if memory serves right, punctuation inside quotes.

    You’re not old enough to have been in sorority with Ann Coulter!

  20. I’m a little worried about a handshake that you remember in the shower. Does it involve a foot in the soapdish and a razor? Left hand on right boob with one eye closed?

  21. Commas and periods always go inside the quotation marks. Exclamation points and question marks are more difficult. Sometimes they should be inside, and sometimes they should be outside.

    As in: Lumpyhead’s Mom said, “Does it involve a soapdish and a razor?” (Question mark inside because the quoted material itself was a question.)

    However: Was it the blue one or the pink one who said that “pee was blocking their poop”? (Question mark outside because the quoted material was not originally a question.)

  22. Really? A sorority? You? which one? This is fascinating to me.

  23. For $50 million, I’ll marry then divorce Paul.

    (I feel like a cheap man-slut for saying that)

  24. WOW – sorority sisters with her? For real?

    And I agree about marrying Paul McCartney! Did you hear about Heather pouring the water over Paul’s attorney’s head? Such class.

  25. Frank Sucks says:

    Marry, divorce, then bitch about “only” getting $50 Mil….

    Wonder if having one leg is a requirement….

  26. Was it your boy that said that about the pee blocking the poop? My son says that ALL the time and I don’t understand what it means. He also says that the poop is blocking the poop sometimes. Somehow we always work it out, just like you did but what the hell?

  27. Wait, I meant poop is blocking the PEE (not poop) up there, but whatever.

  28. For most people, periods inside quotations will work fine. I work for a lawyer though, so for me, it’s almost always the opposite. Which is confusing in the real world.

  29. I wonder if I could have Paul when you’re done? And tell him I only need 20 million.

    I wonder how many times I’d have to ask Guy? Think he’d give in after 7 or 8 emails?

    And I taught my students that periods go inside quotation marks.

  30. It’s funny, because this post totally reminded me that I never officially learned the secret handshake for my sorority. I could fake it with the best of them, though.

  31. You are sorority sisters with Ann Coulter? Could you trick her into meeting you in a bar so we could jump her?

  32. I won’t bother with the period inside the quotation marks advice as you’ve already received it numerous times. However, I would like to know more about showering naked with your sorority sisters and this handshake thingy.

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