Me: Okay. I’m getting in the shower if anybody needs me.
Me: Did you hear me? I will be in the shower if anyone needs anything.
Goon Squad: (not even looking up) Uh huh.
No more than two minutes later I hear running in the hall.
Claudia: Mommy! Mommy! Where are you?!
Me: I’M IN THE SHOWER!
Claudia: (Comes into the bathroom and trows open the shower curtain letting in a lot of cold air) Mommy! Mommy! It’s the greatest thing ever! Come see!
Me: I’m in the shower. What it it?
Claudia: It is the greatest thing ever! I’ll give you a hint. It goes in the potty and it isn’t yellow.
Me: What could it be?
Claudia: I pooped in the potty! You’ve got to come see it.
Me: Okay, when I get out of the shower I’ll come see your poop.
Claudia: Ok! (runs away)
42 seconds later I hear running in the hall and the bathroom door opens again.
Claudia: Mommy, when are you going to come look at my poop?
Me: I am in the shower. I am washing my hair.
Claudia: Can I see?
Shower curtain opens again, letting in more cold air.
Claudia: Oh. good job Mom.
Claudia: How much longer will you be in the shower.
Me: 4 minutes.
One minute later the bathroom door opens again.
Sid: Meow. Meow. MEOW!
(You have got to be fucking kidding me)
Me: Sid, I am in the shower.
Small grey head pop inside the shower curtain letting in cold air.
Sid: Meow. Meow. meow.
Me: Let me guess. There is something brown in your litter box that I have to come see.
Claudia: (reappearing) Mommy! I see a kitty! What is Sid doing in the shower?
Me: I have no idea. Can I just shower in peace?