On the Upside, I Smell Much Better

Me: Okay. I’m getting in the shower if anybody needs me.

Silence.

Me: Did you hear me? I will be in the shower if anyone needs anything.

Goon Squad: (not even looking up) Uh huh.

No more than two minutes later I hear running in the hall.

Claudia: Mommy! Mommy! Where are you?!

Me: I’M IN THE SHOWER!

Claudia: (Comes into the bathroom and trows open the shower curtain letting in a lot of cold air) Mommy! Mommy! It’s the greatest thing ever! Come see!

Me: I’m in the shower. What it it?

Claudia: It is the greatest thing ever! I’ll give you a hint. It goes in the potty and it isn’t yellow.

Me: What could it be?

Claudia: I pooped in the potty! You’ve got to come see it.

Me: Okay, when I get out of the shower I’ll come see your poop.

Claudia: Ok! (runs away)

42 seconds later I hear running in the hall and the bathroom door opens again.

Claudia: Mommy, when are you going to come look at my poop?

Me: I am in the shower. I am washing my hair.

Claudia: Can I see?

Shower curtain opens again, letting in more cold air.

Claudia: Oh. good job Mom.

Me: Thanks.

Claudia: How much longer will you be in the shower.

Me: 4 minutes.

One minute later the bathroom door opens again.

Sid: Meow. Meow. MEOW!

(You have got to be fucking kidding me)

Me: Sid, I am in the shower.

Small grey head pop inside the shower curtain letting in cold air.

Sid: Meow. Meow. meow.

Me: Let me guess. There is something brown in your litter box that I have to come see.

Claudia: (reappearing) Mommy! I see a kitty! What is Sid doing in the shower?

Me: I have no idea. Can I just shower in peace?

Curtain

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  1. Hey Sarah, I’m gonna GO poop in the potty in a few.

    I just wanted you to know.

    I may call you when I’m done.

  2. Witnessing the poop is daily around here. Luckily I do get to shower without interruption. Usually. I mean, sometimes. I mean, rarely.

    😉

  3. I usually get an audience when I am in the shower. Or requests shouted through the (now) locked door. If you keep your head under the water you can drown out their cries for another cookie.

  4. …. so you DIDN’T drop everything you were doing, run out the the bathroom naked and wet, to see the greatest thing EVER.

    what kind of Mommy are you?

  5. Even when I was at college, I had the ability to interrupt my mother’s showers by calling right after she got in. I wasn’t alone in this ability, and I have five siblings. If karma really works, I figure I might as well take the shower curtain and bathroom door down right now.

  6. Snort. Oh yeah, this happens to me a lot — no interest in Mom unless I’m actually in the middle of an inconvenient situation.

  7. Your CAT comes and meows at you in the shower? oh, and I just noticed your Flickr badge with the photos of the squad as babies-they were SO CUTE!! I mean, they still are, but you know what I mean :)

  8. My favorite part is that you got a thumbs up for your hair washing skills.

  9. Poop is so *not* the greatest thing ever, sorry, Claud. I cannot wait for the day when the only poop in my life is my own and the occassional ‘ooops!’ while walking past the dog park.

    I take that back. No ‘oops!’ either. Just my poop.

  10. So, do they like grow out of that? Or will you be looking at poop until they are teens?

  11. Stephanie says:

    Sounds like my morning … only its only a husband and a cat (who INSISTS on being IN the shower with me at all times).. who let the cold air and disturbance of my “Me” time in.

  12. My son is 16, he still stands out side the bathroom door and talks to me while I pee. It never ends.

  13. Way, way, way, way, way too familiar with this routine.

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