You know potty training is finally going really well.
*Furtively looks for wood to knock on*
But OH.MY.GOD. Could she pick more inappropriate times to have to pee?
“Okay Squad we are going to the post office and then to the store.”*
15 minutes later
“I’m serious. We’re going to the post office.”
30 minutes later
“We’re going to the post office as soon as I finish this post for BlogHer and then we are going to the grocery store.”
Three hours later. I am holding my purse. We are all wearing shoes.
We all walk down the stairs. I begin to open the door and – “I have to go potty!”
We have finally made it to the grocery store. We have actually already been to the post office. (No seriously Geena. Your book is on its way. Finally.) We have gotten everything we needed to make lasagna.
I am on my way to the checkout counter and I am glad I am on my way out because the Goons are getting restless. Also I am sick to death of trying to maneuver that huge ass shopping cart with two steering wheels all over the store as they try to restock the place.
Score! There is no line in the one aisle I can actually fit through with that monstrosity of a cart.
“Mommy. I have to go potty.”
“Good night honey. I love you.”
“Good night Mommy.”
3 minutes later
“MOMMY! I need water!”
I bring her a glass of water.
Four minutes later.
Me – not even getting out of my chair “What?”
I go back to her room.
“Mommy, I um, I well… I um… my eye hurts. I can’t see.”
“Your eye hurts.”
“Yes. I can’t see.”
“Um. I can’t open my eye.”
“Me. Well you don’t need to open your eye to sleep. Now close the other one. Good night. I love you. Go to sleep.”
One minute later.
“MOMMY! I NEED YOU!”
I walk back to her room and give her “the look”. “What do you need?”
“I have to go potty.”
Of course you do.
*No that isn’t for your benefit. I actually call them Squad to their faces.