Your comments slayed me yesterday. I can honestly say I cannot remember the last time my comment section made me laugh so hard.
So I vote we talk about pee again today.
And I have the only vote that actually counts.
So just for you I have more peeing stories. Behold!
1) When my brother was a baby one time my Mom was changing his diaper on the kitchen counter. (I have no idea why. That house must have had really great counter space.) Well, you know how it is when you cahnge a baby boy’s diaper, the air hit his junk and he peed. He peed in a huge arc and the urine went straight into my mother’s coffee cup which was on the opposite counter.
2) In college (this story isn’t nearly as nice as the last one) there was this car parked in the yard of the fraternity house across the street from the Acacia house. Once upon a time this car had been a hatchback but for some unknown reason it had no hatchback door. It was just open to the elements.
Obviously (to really drunk college students anyway) it became a place for extraordinarily drunk people to pee.
Yes. I peed in the hatchback.
And so did she.
3) Speaking of college, a sorority sister of mine who shall remain unnamed (it wasn’t Tammy) was very drunk and hooked up with some random guy. She woke up in the middle of the night and peed in his laundry basket. Another sister peed in her own garbage can.
4) And then there is this story. I took place one weekend when a bunch of my college friends (I’m sensing a theme here) all met in Orlando for a homecoming game. My friends, we will call them Bill and Jeff (because those are their names) were sharing a hotel room. This story takes place the morning after a long night of drinking.
Jeff: Just waking up. What time is is?
Bill: OH GOD! YOU KNOW?
Jeff: alarmed I know what?
Bill: I peed the bed!
This would be a lot less funny if we weren’t 30 when it happened. Or maybe it would be funnier. I suppose that is up to a debate.
5) Ian thinks that it is a hilarious joke to pee on my foot when we shower together. I do not share this joy.