Sam Needs a Shower*

Sam at Temporarily me is six days overdue.

Poor Sam.

Karen is throwing her a virtual baby shower. She wanted us to tell Sam some stories about our won overdue babies but since mine were almost six weeks early I am going to have to tell a different story about being really REALLY pregnant.octopus toy for baby

Even though I only made it into my 34th week of pregnancy I was really quite large. I always figured since I was born with these hips I would have no problem carrying more than one baby at a time.

In fact, I think joking about it so much may have been the cause of me having multiples. Seriously. We don’t have twins in our family.

As it turned out I did have trouble. Even on my 5′ 9″ frame I was bursting with babies. By my 27th week I could no longer fit into any of the XL maternity clothes. By my 28th week my body decided that it had had enough torture and the babies were ready to come out.

My doctors didn’t agree.

At 28 (I thought I was 29 weeks pregnant at the time, but apparently I suck at math) they put me on hospital bed rest.

I kept getting bigger. My Mom went to TJ Max and bought me mens XXXL gym shorts. They fit just fine.

Here is where I need to tell you a little side story. My Dad and I are both serial dieters. We both gain a bunch of weight and then loose it. Then we repeat the cycle. Right before I got pregnant my father went on this hardcore hospital diet. At the time my weight was on the way up and he used to joke that we were going to “pass”. He meant that I was going to weigh more than he did.

My Dad is 6′ 2″.

Guess what? We passed.

The week before my children were born I weighed in at 222 lbs. My Dad weighed 217.

The next week I had two little babies. Claudia only weighed 4 lbs 13 oz. but Ian weighed 6 lbs. 8 oz. Not bad for a premature twin.

I like to joke around that if I was only carrying one child and Ian had gone to full term he would have been 13 pounds. Sure I’m joking but you may notice that I’m not having anymore kids.

Anyway – Godspeed Sam and good luck. We love you.


* I don’t mean to imply that Sam is smelly.

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  1. Ha ha your Dad is funny. Thanks for participating – I’m sure Sam will love all these stories!

  2. I’m sure I’ve not always been lighter than my dad and I’ve never been pregnant.

  3. awesome story! was at the beach with your parents this weekend and it was so great to catch up. your dad is crazy!

  4. My husband’s grandmother had 7 children, the second time were twin boys. She was, hang on, 4’10”, a teeny tiny little woman. I’m told at one of her last checkups she came to the hospital and the doctor took one look at her short frame carrying two boys and he told her “you’re the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen”.

    Doctors didn’t have to study bedside manner in the late 30s apparently.

  5. I outweighed EVERY ONE with my last pregnancy.

    I was SEXY.

    In a humongous way.

  6. Where is Sam anyway? She’s having the baby today, isn’t she?

  7. I always wonder what pregnancy will be like for me, if it ever happens. I’m tall, but I have a short torso. But nice birthing hips. Which is actually a phrase I used OUT LOUD in a Mexican grocery store at lunch yesterday regarding a character on one of the Spanish soap operas.

  8. They were great sizes Ian was huge.
    MY twins were one month early and almost same sizes.
    I hope Sam has a great virtual baby shower.

  9. my first was a 34-weeker too. She didn’t have the twin excuse, she was just anxious to get the whole thing started, I guess. She was 5lb 4oz at birth, not too bad… I was a nine+ pounder myself, and my mother claims to not have used any drugs to deliver me. I think she is a liar.

  10. I am 30 weeks along with twins and just broke the 170 pound mark. My husband keeps joking that if he gets down to his lowest weight of 198 and I keep gaining we will be the same, he is 6’5″ and I am 5’4″. My ass is as pregnant as my belly…

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