HOME   ABOUT   MORE SARAH   READS   BEST OF   ARCHIVES  

Archive for September, 2008

I Hope this Doesn’t Mean They Will Start Rooting for the Red Sox

September 30, 2008 | Parenting, The Goon Squad

Claudia walks into the living room with my fancy purse, the one I take to weddings and the opera.

“Mommy, I like your purse. It is very beautiful.”

“Well, thank you.” I say. “Why do you have my dress up purse? Where did you find my dress up purse?”

“In your bedroom.”

“What were you doing in my bedroom?”

“Playing England.”

“Playing England?”

Since this cleared nothing up I went in my bedroom to see how one would go about playing England. I guess I was picturing a tea party with the Queen or something but I was mistaken.

Apparently playing England involves taking all of your library books and half of your regular books and putting them all in my bed. This is where Ian lives. Then Claudia comes to visit him with every stuffed animal she has and all of her dolls.*

“Okay,” I said “but I still don’t understand why you would call it playing England.”

Ian rolled his eyes at me. “Because it is NEW England.”

Okay. Wicked cool then, I guess, but I still want to know why that girl has my nice purse.

(more…)

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 2:38 pm | 16 Comments  

I Hope You Had a Better Time at The National Book Festival

September 29, 2008 | Parenting, The Pink One

On Saturday I took the grumpiest child in the world to the National Book Festival.

I made the mistake of not going early so the lines were super long to meet all the PBS characters. Fortunately, Claudia was too pissy to stand still and have her picture taken with Clifford anyway.

We did get to go on the Magic School Bus. (Thanks PBS Kids!)

There was that. Then I saw the back of Neil Gaiman’s head and I heard him read approximately three words from his new book before Claudia completely lost her mind. I did not get to see Tiki Barber (or Kristen) but I did get to meet Papa Bradstein and he gave Claudia some water. So that calmed her down for about 45 seconds and then I just gave up and took her to the McDonalds in Air and Space with some friends where I got to actually talk about books while the girl ate some french fries and scowled at me.

Next year I’m either going alone or I will actually show up on time.

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 2:25 pm | 20 Comments  

Randomness Part 117

September 25, 2008 | Randomness

PETA pisses me off. Seriously, BREAST milk for ice cream?

I got two hits this week for people searching gnats living in my butt.

You will only think this link is funny if you watch Heroes AND follow the NFL. And I do, so I think it is hilarious.

“I have this recurring nightmare where I’m at my 11th birthday party, but instead of my classmates, all the guests are Serj Tankian from System of a Down.” – from Sorry I Missed Your Party (Thanks for the link, Tiffer.)

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 7:17 pm | 10 Comments  

Bugging Me: My Gnat/Mosquito Conspiracy Theory

September 23, 2008 | The Unexplained

I have a new theory regarding gnats and mosquitoes.

I say that the gnats just fly around your face and try to distract you while the mosquitoes bite the living shit out of your foot.

I’m not sure what the gnats are getting out of this deal. Maybe the mosquitoes are paying them off in gnat crack or possibly pissing me off is just what gnats live for.

I don’t know, but I do know this – we were only outside for about an hour and I have four huge mosquito bites on my right foot.

Job well done gnats. I hope you tiny bastards are happy now.

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 9:44 pm | 18 Comments  

Do Any Other Kids Talk Like This?

Parenting, The Goon Squad

My kids have been talking about my reproductive organs a lot.

For example – this morning they were arguing about who got to choose the television how they watched before school. I was sick of the fighting so I turned off the tv and told them that they needed to work it out amongst themselves. They could either pick a show that they could both agree on or figure out who got to go first.

After a few minutes they came to the following conclusion:

Whoever came out of my uterus first got to pick the first television show.

They asked me who came out first. I told them Ian did* and then they were both happy. Ian chose “Phineas and Ferb”.

I swear that this is true. What kind of four year olds talk like that? Do your children talk about your uterus all of the time? I’m starting to feel self conscious about my insides.

(more…)

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 5:02 pm | 16 Comments  
Sponsors


Pictures
www.flickr.com
Sarah606's photos More of Sarah606's photos






Sponsored By

Fun Stuff

Draft Day Suit Badge








BlogHer Contributing Editor


Follow

Sarah and the Goon Squad

on

Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass



kirtsy!

Follow GoonSquadSarah on Twitter





free page hit counter



Meta