Archive for September, 2008
Claudia walks into the living room with my fancy purse, the one I take to weddings and the opera.
“Mommy, I like your purse. It is very beautiful.”
“Well, thank you.” I say. “Why do you have my dress up purse? Where did you find my dress up purse?”
“In your bedroom.”
“What were you doing in my bedroom?”
“Playing England.”
“Playing England?”
Since this cleared nothing up I went in my bedroom to see how one would go about playing England. I guess I was picturing a tea party with the Queen or something but I was mistaken.
Apparently playing England involves taking all of your library books and half of your regular books and putting them all in my bed. This is where Ian lives. Then Claudia comes to visit him with every stuffed animal she has and all of her dolls.*
“Okay,” I said “but I still don’t understand why you would call it playing England.”
Ian rolled his eyes at me. “Because it is NEW England.”
Okay. Wicked cool then, I guess, but I still want to know why that girl has my nice purse.
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Posted by Sarah @
2:38 pm |
On Saturday I took the grumpiest child in the world to the National Book Festival.
I made the mistake of not going early so the lines were super long to meet all the PBS characters. Fortunately, Claudia was too pissy to stand still and have her picture taken with Clifford anyway.
We did get to go on the Magic School Bus. (Thanks PBS Kids!)
There was that. Then I saw the back of Neil Gaiman’s head and I heard him read approximately three words from his new book before Claudia completely lost her mind. I did not get to see Tiki Barber (or Kristen) but I did get to meet Papa Bradstein and he gave Claudia some water. So that calmed her down for about 45 seconds and then I just gave up and took her to the McDonalds in Air and Space with some friends where I got to actually talk about books while the girl ate some french fries and scowled at me.
Next year I’m either going alone or I will actually show up on time.
Posted by Sarah @
2:25 pm |
I have a new theory regarding gnats and mosquitoes.
I say that the gnats just fly around your face and try to distract you while the mosquitoes bite the living shit out of your foot.
I’m not sure what the gnats are getting out of this deal. Maybe the mosquitoes are paying them off in gnat crack or possibly pissing me off is just what gnats live for.
I don’t know, but I do know this - we were only outside for about an hour and I have four huge mosquito bites on my right foot.
Job well done gnats. I hope you tiny bastards are happy now.
Posted by Sarah @
9:44 pm |
My kids have been talking about my reproductive organs a lot.
For example - this morning they were arguing about who got to choose the television how they watched before school. I was sick of the fighting so I turned off the tv and told them that they needed to work it out amongst themselves. They could either pick a show that they could both agree on or figure out who got to go first.
After a few minutes they came to the following conclusion:
Whoever came out of my uterus first got to pick the first television show.
They asked me who came out first. I told them Ian did* and then they were both happy. Ian chose “Phineas and Ferb”.
I swear that this is true. What kind of four year olds talk like that? Do your children talk about your uterus all of the time? I’m starting to feel self conscious about my insides.
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Posted by Sarah @
5:02 pm |
1) Do I really need to get a Facebook page or is this just going to be like MySpace all over again?
2) Are you coming to the BlogHer Reach Out Tour in DC?
3) How often do you buy new sheets for your bed? Also - how many sets of sheets do you think you own for your main bed?
4) Are you watching True Blood? Did anybody read the books?
5) Have you ever been arrested? If so, for what?
___
Posted by Sarah @
2:38 pm |
September 20, 2008 | Sports, TV
I’m not really surprised that I accidentally turned on a UFC event while looking for the UCF game on television.
I mean - the tv is all the way across the room and even with my contacts in my vision isn’t all that great.
What does surprise me is that I did it more than once.
What surprises me even more is that there would be more than one channel showing Ultimate Fighting in the middle of the afternoon, but I suppose that is another post entirely.
Posted by Sarah @
2:42 pm |
We TiVO 120 Minutes on VH-1 Classic.
(1. Shut up. You’re not cool either. You know you have embarrassing season passes on your DVR too and 2) VH1 Classic, ugh. I’m so old.)
The first couple episodes of 120 Minutes we watched were all about Morrissey and Siouxsie & the Banshees and a lot of mid to late 80’s alternative music but lately they have been much more early 90’s stuff.
I was folding laundry and the kids were playing on the floor (Usually I let them watch kids shows if we have the TV on but if I am folding laundry I often insist on watching a “music show” which is usually some crap I recorded off of VH1 or MTV2 just so that I can pretend I still listen to music on occasion.) and the video for “Ruby Soho” came on.
“Hey guys!” I said. “You know this song don’t you?”
We have been known to listen to a lot of Rancid around thse parts.
“Yeah!” All of the sudden Ian was really excited. “I know that guy! I know who he is!”
“Which one?” I asked. “The guy with the mohawk?”
“Yeah! I know him!”
I was so proud. My son new Tim Armstrong by site.
“Mommy! He’s the guy from Guitar Hero!”
Oh. I see.
And nobody tell Tim Armstrong about this. I don’t think he would find this amusing.
Posted by Sarah @
8:12 am |
“Mommy. When I look at your tummy it reminds me what a good time I had in you uterus.”
Posted by Sarah @
3:18 pm |
“Mommy, I can’t go to school today. My butt itches too much.”
Can you imagine the excuse letter?
Dear Preschool.
I regret to inform you that Claudia was unable to attend school on Wednesday because her butt itched too much.
Sincerely,
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah
That would probably go over pretty well, don’t you think?
Posted by Sarah @
8:06 am |
