Archive for September, 2008
Claudia walks into the living room with my fancy purse, the one I take to weddings and the opera.
“Mommy, I like your purse. It is very beautiful.”
“Well, thank you.” I say. “Why do you have my dress up purse? Where did you find my dress up purse?”
“In your bedroom.”
“What were you doing in my bedroom?”
“Playing England.”
“Playing England?”
Since this cleared nothing up I went in my bedroom to see how one would go about playing England. I guess I was picturing a tea party with the Queen or something but I was mistaken.
Apparently playing England involves taking all of your library books and half of your regular books and putting them all in my bed. This is where Ian lives. Then Claudia comes to visit him with every stuffed animal she has and all of her dolls.*
“Okay,” I said “but I still don’t understand why you would call it playing England.”
Ian rolled his eyes at me. “Because it is NEW England.”
Okay. Wicked cool then, I guess, but I still want to know why that girl has my nice purse.
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Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
2:38 pm |
On Saturday I took the grumpiest child in the world to the National Book Festival.
I made the mistake of not going early so the lines were super long to meet all the PBS characters. Fortunately, Claudia was too pissy to stand still and have her picture taken with Clifford anyway.
We did get to go on the Magic School Bus. (Thanks PBS Kids!)
There was that. Then I saw the back of Neil Gaiman’s head and I heard him read approximately three words from his new book before Claudia completely lost her mind. I did not get to see Tiki Barber (or Kristen) but I did get to meet Papa Bradstein and he gave Claudia some water. So that calmed her down for about 45 seconds and then I just gave up and took her to the McDonalds in Air and Space with some friends where I got to actually talk about books while the girl ate some french fries and scowled at me.
Next year I’m either going alone or I will actually show up on time.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
2:25 pm |
I have a new theory regarding gnats and mosquitoes.
I say that the gnats just fly around your face and try to distract you while the mosquitoes bite the living shit out of your foot.
I’m not sure what the gnats are getting out of this deal. Maybe the mosquitoes are paying them off in gnat crack or possibly pissing me off is just what gnats live for.
I don’t know, but I do know this – we were only outside for about an hour and I have four huge mosquito bites on my right foot.
Job well done gnats. I hope you tiny bastards are happy now.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:44 pm |
My kids have been talking about my reproductive organs a lot.
For example – this morning they were arguing about who got to choose the television how they watched before school. I was sick of the fighting so I turned off the tv and told them that they needed to work it out amongst themselves. They could either pick a show that they could both agree on or figure out who got to go first.
After a few minutes they came to the following conclusion:
Whoever came out of my uterus first got to pick the first television show.
They asked me who came out first. I told them Ian did* and then they were both happy. Ian chose “Phineas and Ferb”.
I swear that this is true. What kind of four year olds talk like that? Do your children talk about your uterus all of the time? I’m starting to feel self conscious about my insides.
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Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
5:02 pm |
