Mosquito Bite Backlash

Holy sweet mother of Jebus I look like I have leg acne.

The mosquitoes are brutal this year.

Brutal I tell you! I would take a picture of how bad my legs looks but 1) I am afraid to shave because I have so many scabs and 2) I can’t find my camera.

This leads me to say something I never thought I would say. Ever.

I can’t wait until it gets cold out.

I know I will regret that the second it starts snowing and I’ll start whining about how I grew up in Florida and how thin my blood is. I will probably also complain that I don’t have any snow boots and sweaters take up way more room in the washing machine forcing me to do twice as many loads of laundry each week. (Which ought to bring my wash total to three hundred loads a week.*)

So yeah, I said it. I am looking forward to fall for one reason only. Less bugs.

Well, and obviously football. And chili. And school starting, and hockey games with Nancy, and it won’t matter if I don’t shave because I will wear long pants every day, and I we won’t have to mow the lawn as often and stew.

Wait a second. Do I like cold? Am I naturalizing into a northerner?

(I realize I was born in Ohio and hence have embraced the “Yankee” label my whole life.  And yes, I know Virginia is technically the south, but if I have to get stuck in Beltway traffic four times a week I am claiming my residence as the DC suburbs. Plus, it snows here. )

Or is this just something that happens at the end of ever summer to everybody?

* Not how many loads I actually do, but how many loads of dirty clothes the four of us make in a week.

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  1. As a fellow southerner, boy, do I feel your pain. I am not outdoorsy by nature but promised myself I’d try to do better for my kids’ sake. I cannot wait until fall because right now, if you take them out during the day, we all get sunburned (damn those Irish genes). But at dusk, when it is finally cool enough to venture out, you come back with an unbelievable number of mosquito bites. Come on, fall!

  2. So, you invited yourself to my house, can I invite myself to hockey games? Love hockey.

  3. The mosquitos massacre me and they are horrible in our yard. Two weekends ago I was trimming our holly bushes in front of our house and looked down and had about eight mosquitos on my legs at once. I freaked out and went inside.

    I am SO ready for cooler weather. I lurv fall. We’re going to the Titans/Jax game Sunday and it looks like it will be a “cool” 85 or so.

  4. I always love fall because I love the whole “back-to-school” fashion thing (even though I no longer technically need back-to-school clothes. I really enjoy breaking out the sweaters and boots. But certainly by March I’ll be ready for shorts and t-shirts again.

    I’m definitely looking forward to hockey season too. And now we can text each other on our iPhones while we’re sitting together. 😉

  5. You should be used to misquitoes. Remember? – Florida – swampy – full of bugs including misquitoes the size of a airplanes… And NO! I refuse to believe that you are neutralizing into a northerner. Hmph….I feel betrayed!

    I was eaten alive in WV. Just absolutely chewed on!!! I feel your itch.

  6. We have a swamp in the lot next door, the mosquitoes suck. I found things called mosquito dunks & they help (when I remember to put them in the swamp).

  7. I spent 10 years of my life in N.Va and I consider it “the north”. The D.C. metro area is nothing like the south; completely different world up there.

  8. If only Winter in the North didn’t last so freakin long.

  9. I look forward to fall for the fashion alone. I cannot wait to pull out my collection of tall boots.

    Once I was bitten so badly by mosquitoes that my legs looked I had been beaten. I’m allergic so the bites swell into massive hard welts. Pretty, huh?

  10. Wow, you have almost as much laundry as I do, except that I leave it in the basement and forget about it. Then we make a trip to Target to buy more socks. What I am looking forward to is darkness at 5:00pm. Then I can show the L’s that it is really dark outside and it’s totally past their bedtimes…

  11. Two weeks ago we went boating and they tried to eat me alive. I looked like a lepper. I counted 16 bug bites on one leg.

    This weekend we went back and I carried the bug spray with me everywhere. My husband made fun of me because I kept spraying my legs every 10 minutes but I can home sans bug bites! That’s right!

  12. I just want the bugs to be dead so I can sit on the porch with the neighbor ladies and drink wine. Its not so fun when you have to bathe in bug-off first.

  13. oh, find that camera!!

    (I’ve had legs like that, bug biten and hairy, growing up in Texas. I feel for ya.)

  14. My legs won’t let me go back to Hawaii.

  15. I totally agree with you!! I am a native Georgian so as I was cussing the 90 degree reading on the car thermometer yesterday (it is fall now people!) I realized that I would be cussing the 30 degree reading coming in about 3 months. But really, 3 months seems like a year away with the heat/no freakin rain weather we’ve had here this year.

    Bring on the jackets and long walk from the parking lot to the building!!!! At least I won’t be sweating like the 40 year old perimenopausal person that I am!

  16. Have the Bucs been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs yet? Just curious.

  17. I consider it the North, too. BUT I’m looking forward to a few more late summer, 70ish days before it *really* gets cold. I keep Pete and the little guy around for mosquito bait. They are much sweeter to the bugs than me, for some reason, so I only get bitten when I’m not with them.

  18. I love the cool weather – the cold is just okay. Everyday now I think, ‘Soon I won’t have to shave…soon I won’t have to maintain this pedicure.’ And then there’s all the good stuff you mentioned – football, stew, roasts, boots, sweaters, jackets, changing leaves, Halloween…all the best stuff.

  19. Thank GOD

  20. (continued) you can’t find your camera. I mean, gross.

    I too am looking forward to cooler weather. It’s been in the high 90’s here in the SF/Bay Area. Yes, I know; it’s a dry heat. Well so’s a fucking oven and I don’t want to live in one of those.

  21. *gasp*
    woman, what have they done to you up there?
    i’m tellin the bucs….

  22. The thing I loved most when I lived in the Rockies was that, at least once a month (even July most years) the temperature at night would dip to almost freezing and kill all the mosquitos within hundreds of miles.

    Now that I live in Eastern Canada (weather like Maine)I can not wait for that first autumn night when those whiny little bastards get what they got comin to them. I don’t want winter exactly, just one cold night. Bring on the frost.

  23. 1 word.. AFTERBITE. I’m buying stock. Heck I’m buying the company.

    I love fall.

    (coming over from beck’s)

  24. I actually dared to think (ever so briefly this morning before slapping myself stupid) that I may in fact want the cold already too. Gasp. I’m so not a cold person, but having just spent a month in Australia, I realise that I look better when covered from head to toe. Sad really isn’t it. I look 20lbs thinner than when I wear summer clothes that tend to accentuate every single fat roll.

    As for the bugs. Knick off.

  25. Sarah, I just had to write a blog post about this because after reading, it occure to me that I’ve gotten NOT ONE misquito bite this season, and I’m far from a shut it. I think it’s the pregnancy. And, I think that’s awesome. So what if I feel like a bowling ball is falling out of my junk? At least I have no bug bites.

  26. I cannot ABIDE mosquito bites! Or fleas either. Anything that sucks blood is just gross. Fortunately hey have been so aggressive about fighting the West Niles virus around here there are hardly any of the buggers.

    I am getting totally sick of the heat, though.

  27. I hear you! I got 36 mosquito bites on just one of my legs alone (I was too tired to count the other side) AND I was on a girlie shopping trip to the “big city”…I would catch people glancing at me, look horrified at my legs and try to to run away screaming. It was not fun.

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