Lamest Excuse Ever

“Mommy, I can’t go to school today. My butt itches too much.”

Can you imagine the excuse letter?

Dear Preschool.

I regret to inform you that Claudia was unable to attend school on Wednesday because her butt itched too much.


Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

That would probably go over pretty well, don’t you think?

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  1. Okay the butt itching my be going around. I was told that some soda pop was needed to drink – because his butt itched.

  2. Frank Sucks says:

    I think this was used on Welcome Back Kotter during the 3ed season.

    Epstein’s Mother.

  3. Wondering if it would work for adults too??? There is no way a boss would ask anymore questions if that were the reason you needed to miss work.

  4. Anyone who’s had a butt rash would completely understand.

  5. I recently asked that Finn be excused because he was “an active volcano of phlegm.”

    It was granted, no questions.

    The butt itch, not so sure.

  6. Aprylsantics says:

    My mom would be all like “OMG you have pin worms! Get the scotch tape and a flashlight!”

  7. Don’t you love the things they say!?! That’s a new one for me though.

    I’d love to see the look on their face while reading it!

  8. Have you ever tried to learn with an itchy butt? Hmm? It’s HARD!

  9. I see lots of scooting on the carpet going on. That’s what I do when my butt itches…


  10. Tell Claudia thanks for me. I’m using that the next time I call in sick.

    I’m sure they wouldn’t want to see me with hand in down the back of my pants all day.

  11. Ooh. My butt itches too! I am so not going to work!!

  12. That’s just too cute. The other day my daughter asked if she could stay home because she had a cold – but that’s the best she’s come up with.

  13. A few weeks ago, my niece was complaining of “hip pains” in order to escape class.

    She’s 10.

    Osteoperosis sets in early these days …

  14. I am just glad I don’t have to write notes to explain my kids preschool absences. I am sure they wouldn’t look to kindly on “Dear Preschool,
    LaLa wasn’t in school today because I couldn’t get my lazy butt out of bed to take her this morning.

    Domestic Diva”

  15. I dare you to try it.

  16. hummm, sass’s butt itches a bunch as well. however, she has no shame in scratching it ANYWHERE

  17. I’ve used that same excuse. Well, I probably used a different excuse, but that was the reason!

  18. Really though who wants to sit in the sandbox all day with an itchy bootie?

  19. certainly a better excuse than her hair hurt.

  20. My friend’s daughter actually DID have worms and my friend didn’t believe her. She actually got mad at the kid and accused her of lying. Man did she feel like shit afterwards!

  21. Isn’t preschool a little early for the lame excuses?

  22. About as good as “butt-fire”.

  23. How weird that is what I used to skip work last week.

  24. Will the next excuse be that everything smells bad at school? I got that one once..

  25. I’ve got some AntiMonkey Butt Powder if she thinks it will help.

  26. You should see some of the notes parents send in. I got one that said, “___ was absent because he had that I had to treat”. Found out later it was lice – YEAH.

    Also, my grandmother sent in a note that my dad was absent because he went to the race track with his dad. That one wasn’t excused!

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