Do Any Other Kids Talk Like This?

My kids have been talking about my reproductive organs a lot.

For example – this morning they were arguing about who got to choose the television how they watched before school. I was sick of the fighting so I turned off the tv and told them that they needed to work it out amongst themselves. They could either pick a show that they could both agree on or figure out who got to go first.

After a few minutes they came to the following conclusion:

Whoever came out of my uterus first got to pick the first television show.

They asked me who came out first. I told them Ian did* and then they were both happy. Ian chose “Phineas and Ferb”.

I swear that this is true. What kind of four year olds talk like that? Do your children talk about your uterus all of the time? I’m starting to feel self conscious about my insides.

* A whopping two minutes before his sister.

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  1. Not yet, but Nick has started calling me “Giant Mama” and it’s starting to get to me. Of course soon he’ll be sucked into orbit by my gravitational pull and that will show him.

  2. My kids NEVER talk about my uterus. If they begin to, I’m calling Jerry Springer.

  3. My oldest doesn’t have to worry, he is firmly planted in oldest position. The triplets are too young to ask who came out first but I’m sure it is coming. It is so funny how multiples are the same age to everyone but them. I know the one minute apart (and I swear they weren’t even minutes apart, that was just for their birth certificates) will make a huge difference when they are older.

  4. I don’t think Petunia knows what a uterus is. We talk about body parts that are visible from the outside but haven’t made it in past the vagina yet. (Geez did that sound nasty.)

  5. The 2 years in between makes that conversation unnecessary, althought they do find other ridiculous things to discuss. I blame you for using big words with them (which a teacher will thank you for one day)!

  6. I had a c section and when pressed, told the duo that the docs just started pulling out feet and hands willy nilly. It wasn’t until they saw their birth certificates and noticed a (completely false) 1 minute difference that Porter decided he was the youngest child, and WHAM! They started acting like their birth order.

  7. I actually think it’s a credit to their mother that they talk like that. Knowledge is power.

  8. The day my kids begin discussing my wife’s… uh… woman parts is the day I leave the room, walk into my back yard, and start slamming a claw hammer into my head.

  9. C pokes at my (flabby) belly because he likes the jiggle he says. That’s love for you…

  10. My step son is all about the dog and cats body parts..which is fine with me. Butt wholes and penis’s mostly…

  11. Gabriel only knows any private parts in a foreign language He often asks how Luke came out, but I know if I told him the truth he would totally be tramatized. He is really sensitive about that stuff.

  12. At least they don’t start stories with “Remember that time the babies came out of your vagina?”

  13. The sixteen-year-old? Is disgusted that I HAVE a uterus.

  14. Hee hee. Nice! They sound like great kids.

    Okay, I have a uterus story of my own: when my oldest son was newly 3, he carried his baby doll with him everywhere. So, we’re at the grocery store one day and a woman stranger spots him with the doll. She approaches and says: “Awwwww, how cute. Is that your baby?” He thinks for a moment and replies: “Yes, she was in my uterus and then came out my vagina.”

  15. My 3 year old doesn’t yet know much about my uterus. But he does ask me all about my “boobers” quite frequently.
    He asked me why I have that “big hole in my body” the other day. I asked what hole he meant, and he pointed where my cleavage used to be. I had just bent over to tuck him in. I guess he saw down my shirt. The wide space between my once full breasts now appears to be a gaping hole. Nice.

  16. Celex's Mom says:

    As a twin, I can totally relate to birth order mattering (we had always been told that we were 8 minutes apart, but in highschool, saw birth certificates and realized it was only 5. The elder of us — not me — said her entire life was built on being older by 8, so we are 8 minutes apart). In terms of *my* kids, my 5 year old son recently was talking about being naked when in my uterus… and having gotten there by “daddy planting the special seed in your secret garden!”

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