Finding White Trash Moms Among Us

Have you guys read “The White Trash Mom Handbook”? (if you can memorize a lot of words in a row the full title is The White Trash Mom Handbook: Embrace Your Inner Trailerpark, Forget Perfection, Resist Assimilation into the PTA, Stay Sane, and Keep Your Sense of Humor). I just finished reading it yesterday.

I was going to write a big old review here since I am supposed to be participating in the SV Moms Book Club today but three things happened.

1) I started feeling funny about it since the author, Michelle Lamar, is a friend. (Not that I won’t pimp my friends books, I totally will, but since you may or may not have seen me hanging out with Michelle at BlogHer I thought it would look suspicious.)

2) My stupid router went nuts. I couldn’t get online without having to refresh my ip address every three minutes. After about four hours I decided to move the bookshelf in Ian’s room (the former office that has no computer in it – but has the router that controls the internet for my entire house) while he was sleeping and I unplugged the damn thing right from the wall. Then I plugged it back in.

As you can see, it worked.

3) One section of the book really stuck with me and I want to just talk about that.

Michelle has a section on finding other White Trash moms. Now, keep in mind that she isn’t necessarily talking about Brandine. When Michelle says White Trash Mom she just means someone who doesn’t take herself too seriously, a mom that admits she lets her kids watch tv and eat twinkies. A mom that doesn’t claim to be able to work full time, make healthy dinners from scratch every night, volunteer for the homeless shelter and still make it to every soccer game while staying sane.

Moms like us.

She gives a couple examples about how to find other moms at school that might be like minded. (You don’t want to accidentally hook up with one of those perfect moms. Michelle calls them the Muffia. Sure they are the mean girls, but never underestimate the likelihood that one of those women will snap and go postal at Chuck E. Cheese one day. God knows that I fell like killing people every time I go there.) Michelle says to pay attention to the mom’s eyes and listen for a good laugh, but the most important tip is The Lunch or Coffee Test. She says “You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat a waitress or the guy behind the Starbucks counter”.

Isn’t that the truth?

Did you ever notice that people who leave small tips tend to be small minded? People that treat servers/clerks like shit tend to be shitty people themselves. This is also a fabulous dating tip. If you are on a date and the other person is rude to your server, they will be rude to you. In addition, someone will probably spit in your food.

I feel like a wrote a lot to get to this one single point, but it is an important point. Grown-ups know that they should use their manners. I am always amazed when someone who seems normal will bark at a bartender or someone working the drive through.

Here comes a quick rant: Why don’t people say please and thank you when they are in restaurants? Why would you says “Yeah, I’ll have the burger” when you could just as easily say “May I please have a hamburger?” Is that what you teach your kids at home? When someone brings you food or refills your drink say thank you. No, I’ve never worked in the food service industry. It just seems like common sense. They are called manners, people. Use them.

Okay. I’m done. All I’m saying is that a good way to find a good friend is to look for someone who treats other people the way you want to be treated, and Michelle Lamar hit the nail on the head with this one.

The White Trash Mom Handbook is filled with gems like these. It also made me laugh out loud more than once. You know how I love that.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll rant on the section about being forced to “volunteer” at your kid’s school.

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  1. Yes, and the point is to use our manners with everyone, not just people that we think we need to impress because they are deemed “important.” I can’t stand people who are rude to others because they know they can get away with it, since servers, clerks, and the like will probably not respond in kind. Those people are just plain trashy!!

  2. Trashy in a BAD way, not a good way!!

  3. AMEN!!!! ALL are to be treated with equal kindness and manners! Seriously, in the past few weeks I’ve blogged not only on manners (the way you address them above) but on my advocacy of TV for kids.

    I like circus peanuts, too. Think I need this book…. 😉

  4. Ooooh, I tried to win this. I guess I didn’t. Now I have to go buy it.

  5. You are the queen of MY good squad girl! Thanks for taking the time to READ the book, pimp the book and most of all to write the stuff you did about being NICE. DECENT. At the end of the day, my book is trying to say that the values that have been at the forefront in our culture—being PERFECT, having the SHOWROOM HOME—-are not really the important things. Being decent to the waitress or the guy at the drive through window–these are small acts. But all of us are the sum of our small acts, as I know you know.
    Now I am sorry to rant but I just think so many people have been caught up in all the WRONG stuff (hellooo Wall Street) it’s time to shake it off and just be…whiskey tango. In your own special way.

  6. PS-I know this is quite serious for a person that writes about WT but your post really got me worked up, LOL!

  7. Sounds like a good book. I’ll have to read it. And I totally agree about the whole manners thing. It is shocking to me sometimes how rude people can be. I become embarassed for them.

  8. I’ve stood in line at places like Quizno’s, and listened t every single person start their order this way: “Let me get a…” I can’t imagine why it is that all of the manners-deficient people in a given area have managed to somehow assemble in one area.

  9. I will have to check the book out. I am surrounded by the Muffia! Beware, they lurk in upper middle class subdivisions and run the PTA!

  10. I think there’s something about Chuck E. that brings out the killer instinct in all of us. Probably subliminal message through their sound system.

    I run from the Muffia here, to hook up with other spy-moms.

  11. I agree with using manners at a restaurant. We always say thank you to the waitstaff. You know how the waitress/waiter always asks ‘how are you?’ when you first sit down? We always reply and then ask him/her how they are doing as well. I think it is just common courtesy and respectful.

  12. I loved Michelle’s book. I read it for PBN a few months ago and couldn’t put it down. :)

  13. Gosh, I’m gonna have to go buy that book! I must have missed it at BlogHer.

    Just to our defense, though…Alot of Southerners still use hospitality and manners.Not all, but most.

    Thank You Mam,
    Jen
    http://thoughtsfromthefrontporch.blogspot.com

  14. you’ve hit on one of my pet peeves–my opinion of people goes WAY down if they are not nice to the checker at walmart or the server at a restaurant. its just bad news, man, bad news. best way to piss me off (besides leaving your friggin grocery cart away from the rail so someone else’s vehicle can get hit, arseholes)… i digress

  15. I’m going to buy this book right now. I was the only mom at gym class the other day wearing ripped jeans. We were in gym class and I didn’t know I had to wear makeup and high heels.

  16. I will now always strive, with little effort, to be a White Trash Mom. I’ll pick up that book for sure.

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