Again with the Rat Palace

Oh Chuck E. Cheese’s – you are so clever. You have positioned yourself in the same shopping center as my Trader Joe’s and my wine store. I cannot hide from you now that the children know you are there. Your sign mocks me.

As we left Trader Joe’s today this happened:

Claudia: Mom, can we go to Chuck E. Cheese again?

Me: Hmmm. Right now we have groceries in the car. Maybe you should ask one of your Grandparents.* Or wait! I know. How about this? If you guys are really really good for four days in a row – I mean if you clean up your rooms and drink your milk and don’t have any fits for four days in a row I will take to you to Chuck E. Cheeses.

How does that sound?

Claudia: I like the grandparent idea.

Ian: Yeah, me too.


* No, I don’t feel bad. Some of the Grandparents feed the boy popcorn for breakfast and the other ones tried to ruin my life when I was 13.

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  1. They are so much your kids!

  2. Wait a second, something is fishy about this story…

    Why do you not buy your wine at Trader Joe’s?

  3. no feeling bad – that’s what grandparents are for.

  4. You got a problem with popcorn for breakfast?

  5. Ruin your life? Color me intrigued… middle school drama always makes for a fun read.

  6. Your kids are smart.

  7. Brilliant! That is a solution that will work out for everyone!

  8. I just love that you call it the Rat Palace.

  9. You could try my favorite response, “Chuck E. is yucky”.

    If you stand on the kitchen table and chant it loudly, they’ll be so distracted, they’ll forget it exists. For a while.

  10. my kid begs to go all the time. My parents took her once, when she was 14 months old. She is 3 now but she claims this is here most favorite thing ever. So I made a deal with her. When she learns to write her own name I will take her. I figure I bought myself a good 6 months.

  11. I didn’t even question your decision to throw the grandparent card. Maybe because I would exact the same revenge upon my parents and my in-laws, in exchange for all of the ways they undermine my parenting. My dad is the worst, since he’s doing all the stuff he used to complain about when my grandfather did it for me and my sister.

  12. I’m having serious deja vu. We drive by our local pizza/arcade place every single day. And every single day they ask when we’re going. I always try to make excuses or bribe them with the “be good for 3 days” or “sleep in your own bed for 2 nights” business and usually they forget all about it because heaven knows that’s not happening. But recently the pizza/arcade place has apparently vowed to make my life even more complicated with their “Kids Eat Free on Monday” sign that my oldest spotted immediately. Guess where I’ll be Monday (assuming they don’t kill each other before then).

  13. zoe tells me “Grandma loves chuck e cheese!”

  14. stephanie says:

    Oh! I know where that is. You live close by. Is that creepy?

    As a kid, I was partial to Showbiz over Chuck E, and it was my grandparents who ALWAYS took us. Showbiz is extinct now, though, I think.

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