Back story: I was going through and looking at some of my old tweets on Twitter. Sometimes I think blogs suffer because we are using Twitter instead.

GoonSquadSarah I love it when I find long lost friends on Facebook. It almost makes up for finding the long lost enemies.


One time I got out of jury duty because I was having my Judicial Processes final exam that day. Oh! The irony!
I just read a blog post that must have been 1500 words long and I’m not sure what she was saying. Possible blogger was making up words,
My four year old just managed to change the display on her $12 MP3 player to Italian.


Every once in a while I think to myself: HOLY CRAP! I CAN’T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY HAD TWINS.
I just heard “Train Kept a Rollin'” at the gas station. I know my birthday is tomorrow, but I didn’t realize I was turning old.
Good Christ. I need a pair of scissors to open up this stupid pack of scissors.
I have a baggie containing cat poop in my coat pocket. True story.
In the waiting room. Guy just called Marco. I almost yelled “Polo!”
Okay, not that I am giving up on the “balls on the shoulder thing” but does anyone know where I can find a list of certified master chefs?
Who knows the term for putting your testicles on somebody’s shoulder?
The problem with going to Sunday Night football games is Monday morning.
I just accidentally listened to “Slave to the Grind” the whole way through.
My laundry room garbage can is missing. I have no leads on its disappearance.


The afore mentioned three embarrassing things didn’t even include confession #4: I spelled “Embarrassing” wrong in the post title.
Is it just me or is Megatron a lot like Voldemort?
I’m pretty sure the traffic guy on the radio didn’t mean to say “HIV lanes”.
I just accidentally feathered my hair.
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  1. This is such a great idea! I might steal!
    For the record I completely agree. I totally blogged more before I was introduced to twitter. The bad.

    The good? I figure out what I need to say in 140 characters or less instead of writing three paragraphs!

  2. You’ve just cited the reason I don’t Twit. When I start doing that in earnest, the blog goes byebye and it’s hard enough to keep it going these days.

  3. You crack me up.

    I probably couldn’t condense what I wanted to say down to 140 characters most of the time.

  4. There is no doubt in my mind that Twitter is the worst thing that has happened to the blogging community. We all write less, and read less, in exchange for pithy, but addictive one liners.

  5. That’s some funny stuff right there. I haven’t been doing enough Twitter stalking of you.

  6. Never, even when very tired in the morning: FEATHER YOUR HAIR


  7. So what is the term for testicles on the shoulder?

  8. You seem to be suggesting some correlation between “balls on the shoulder” and “certified master chefs” to which I, at least, was heretofore unaware. Clarification?

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