I have no idea what I was thinking.
I have always tried to be completely honest with my kids but I think maybe babies coming out of vaginas may be a more on a need to know basis for small children.
Let me back up a little bit.
When my children were old enough to ask where babies came from I simply told them. The thing is I think maybe they were too young to remember but they still have a vague idea. Now questions randomly pop up and I try to answer them in a straightforward fashion.
I had twins. They were born by c-section. When they asked me how they got out of my uterus I paused. It seemed so gory, but it was true. I said
the doctors cut you guys out of me.
Then I showed them my scar and how it healed up.
I thought they would freak out but instead they started talking about when my daughter fell on the sidewalk and scraped her knees and they healed.
But today they asked me to tell them the story about when they were born.
I can’t even remember why I went there but for some reason I felt compelled to tell two four year olds that most babies were born by coming out of their mother’s vaginas.
Oh! I remember. We were talking about the birth canal.
Good lord. In retrospect I should have just turned on the television.
So then there were questions about our friends.
Is [insert pregnant friend here]’s baby going to come out of her pagina?
And you saw Eric come out of Tammy’s pagina?
Yes. Yes I did. And it is Va-gina. Vuh, vuh vagina.
So yes, I am apologizing to any pregnant person we run across. If my children ask you about your vagina it may sound rude, but at least it is accurate.