A Mother’s Secret Weapon

Dear Ian,

When you are old enough to read this I will be ready for you to know the secret.

It isn’t that I really have eyes in the back of my head, it is that nothing else sounds like a kid chewing on a Lego.

You will understand when you are a parent.



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  1. OK, this made me laugh out loud.

    My own kid’s taken to yelling, “Mom, don’t come in here right now!” when I’m in another room minding my own business. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist, you know?

  2. Oh my gosh, you blog is awesome! I’m totally jealous of your laser-eyed children graphic. I have a similar unmistakable sound in my house, the sound of my cat eating lizards. They sneak into my house and it doesn’t end well for them. Maybe I can interest my cat in eating legos instead…

  3. Don’t let him in on the secret! They believe well past reading age (especially the boys). I have a class of 4th graders that most believe I have eyes in the back of my head!

  4. So that’s the secret! :)

  5. LOL! Your blog always makes me laugh =)

  6. Right. And, also when your kid comes out of the bathroom with a cup of water and you never heard anything coming from the tap…you have a pretty good idea that your child is standing in front of you drinking toilet water.

  7. LOL. Every. Single. One. Of my three independently came up with “Could you please leave the [kitchen, for example]?” after my telling them to get down from there and take your hand out of that… Each when they were about three.

    toilet water – I think I peed a little (no pun intended)

  8. Exactly.

    It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that they are not where they are supposed to be and it is suddenly VERY quiet.

    Quiet = VERY Bad.

  9. When I say certain things/ sayings to my son he’ll say,

    “Are you kidding?” He’s still, not, quite, sure.

  10. you just know by the sound that it’s bad. even worse, you have no idea why it’s THAT quiet, but it can’t be good!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I promise my son does not drink any alcoholic beverages. Blogging had opened me up as a bad blogger to an even bigger audience. . .

  11. Awesome. Kids think they’re so sly…

  12. This made me laugh so loud that my 3 year old jumped and accused me of scaring her. Then I went and made the sure ALL of the Lego’s were hidden…it would be just like her to nom nom nom on one, and whilst I’ve never had the occasion to HEAR that, I’m almost certain it has to be akin to nails on a chalkboard.

    Besides all that, Legos are the creation of Satan himself. Anyone who has ever stepped on one of those nasty little things barefoot would have to agree!

    P.S. Why has it taken me so long to discover you? You’re brilliant!

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