Archive for May, 2009
I just bought two nonstop airplane tickets from Washington DC to San Francisco for under $500. Total.
I just got a reservation for two at Le Bernadin on a Friday night with less than three weeks notice.
A couple of weeks ago we finally broke down and bought the DSLR
I had been coveting for three years when it finally came down so far in price that it was affordable.
But I’m waiting to buy my new couch, because I know the economy blows and that thing has to go on sale soon. There cannot be that many people as desperate for new living room furniture as we are, right?
**attempts to use the Jedi mind trick on furniture store**
Nothing yet. But it will go on sale and then the new couch will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine. Then I will sit in style and comfort until one of the children or cats vomits on it for the first time.
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Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:51 am |
Just when I decided another day was going to go by with nothing new to write about. Just when I decided that I was either going to post a the picture my husband took in Chinatown of a 5 lb. bucket of duck sauce that he was found sitting near some cat carriers (oh how I wish he said it was a lie, but no) or the picture I took at the craft store of black hearts with pink skulls in them stickers (Claudia and I thought they were cool, Ian said they were stupid) I overheard this conversation between my children.
“It is sort of like a satellite for his penis.”
“Yeah. I think you are right.”
I think I am going to have to rewind this episode of “Special Agent Oso” again because I definitely missed the part about the penis satellite.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
2:31 pm |
Sick of Christianity? Is Judism boring you? Do you enjoy Islam, but don’t want to give up bacon?
Try the new Twilight religion – Cullenism.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
10:15 am |
I actually have a t-shirt that says “got twins?”. It is from a fundraiser for my mothers of multiples club.
I’ve been thinking about it because my blog friend Nora is due to have her twins any minute now.
I am supposed to be giving her advice on children’s books for her blog shower (my vote is for anything written by Mo Willems) but since until they turned two The Goon Squad mostly tried to eat books I don’t have a lot of information on good books for babies.
What I do have is experience with having newborn twins.
I freely admit that the first few months are a blur, but something a father of twins told me when my babies were seven weeks old changed my life.
He said “It gets better at three months.”
I am not going to lie to you, Nora. The first three months with more than one newborn is hard. You won’t sleep. You will think you are going to die. But you won’t die, and at three months it gets easier.
It gets easier again at six months.
Then at some point they start keeping each other occupied and you get to do the dishes, or blog or whatever you do.
And it is good.
And your babies won’t go to preschool alone. They will have each other. The same goes for kindergarten.
If they are freaks like my kids, they will entertain you with the stories of the things they did together while they were in your uterus… like playing tic tac toe or having a dance party.
Okay, that last part is probably just my kids, but still, they will have a special bond. They will not have any concept of personal space with each other and you will be able to spot twins this way on the beach or in the mall even if they aren’t identical.
Other advice – join a twins club, or find other bloggers that are having twins around the same age. They will keep you sane. (I couldn’t have done it without Becky and Bridgette.)
And when you are struggling to get two car carriers out of car, and trying to figure out how the hell you are supposed to grocery shop with two infants and you haven’t slept for more than three hours in a night all week, and someone says to you “Oh, you did it the easy way” you are going to want to tell them to fuck off, but you shouldn’t.
Because they are just jealous.
Not everyone gets to have twins.
It is a challenge and it is a blessing.
Welcome to the club.
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Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:05 am |
As a woman, there are certain things about being a man that mystify me.
Like, wouldn’t tight jeans be really uncomfortable?
and
If you are wearing boxers does it just fall out sometimes when you are walking around?
and
If you stand up to pee what happens when you are surprised by poop?
Well lucky me. Guess which one of these questions was answered for me today?
(I’ll give you a moment to look back over your choices.)
Yes, as the proud mother of a five year old boy I found out exactly what happens when a person is taken off guard by a stealth poop while one is standing up to urinate.
For those people without children (or with all girls) what happens is a boy poops on the floor.
And his legs.
And his pants.
And his underpants.
And the bath mat.
So while the idea of peeing my name in the snow still seems kind of cool, for today I’ll just be happy that I sit down when I pee.
Just in case.
***
ps - And for those of you with all girls, this is your chance to gloat. You know the 5 year old boy wasn’t the one cleaning up the stray poo.
pps - I abstained from inserting a picture into this post. You are welcome.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
1:47 pm |
