Et Tu, Uterus?

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  1. Oh. My. God. That first little animal-footed sleeper just about killed me dead. Good thing I’m already knocked up, or I’d be in trouble!

  2. Holy cow do I hear you on this one. Biology sucks, doesn’t she? I want another baby so bad except that I TOTALLY DO NOT WANT ANOTHER BABY.

  3. Baby clothes are so goddamned cute, aren’t they? I haven’t started shopping yet, but I’ve been going thru S’s old baby clothes. Damned onesies that are pink and say things like “Daddy’s little girl”

  4. If I had a Uterus it would be hurting too. Well I think. Okay I have no idea but now I suddenly have the urge for a double bacon cheeseburger. You know the kind that smells like a baby’s head. Yeah I love that smell too.

  5. I hear you loud and clear. Thank GOD my BFF just had a newborn to fulfill all my tiny clothes cravings because it was getting rough. I want a tiny baby to snuggle and sniff and dress up in crazy outfits and take a million pictures. But I don’t want the 3 hour sleep cycle and the colic. Because of this back and forth how will I ever know when I’m ready for another? Because I KNOW it’s not all rainbows and sunshine–oh boy do I know–but I don’t REMEMBER. I only remember the ideals in my head and that’s what scares the crap outta me!

    Baby sleepers AIEEE!

  6. I totally hear you! I can’t even step over all the kids in this house and yet, those ovaries just start SCREAMING in Babies R Us.

    And why is it that all the maternity clothes look SO CUTE now that I don’t need them?

    And this sentence? I am also pretty sure that I ovulated in the aisle that had the sleep sacks. Funniest ever!

  7. Just be glad you had one of each sex. I have two boys so the little baby girl outfits almost send me to the hospital. I physically avoid that section lest I make a fool of myself in public. Or buy shit I have no use for. I also am very confident in having ONLY two kids.

    Also the first 20 seconds are uterus comedy gold:

  8. I had that epidural headache too. The one that is fine if you are lying down, but if you try to sit, or God forbid, stand, you feel like you’re going to die? Ugh. They did the blood plug thing to me where they drew my own blood and inserted it into the epidural site. Weird. It didn’t help a whole lot. But it was evidently interesting enough to require three med students to watch it.

  9. The evolution of the uterus hasn’t kept pace with human evolution in general — I think she doesn’t know about iPhones and Kindles and all the other things you could be doing with your time.

  10. You are so not alone here! I had my tubes tied last summer and one of my best friends just had a baby and I find myself just asking her, “Dude, lemme smell Jackson’s little baby head.” It better than puppy breath, which is pretty freakin’ awesome.

  11. Then don’t check out Giggle.

  12. Only little girl clothes do that to me. I have two boys, and that’s going to have to be it. I’m too old and I can’t afford another one.

  13. I’ll start a sign up list and leave it on the door for anyone who needs a baby fix. Feel free to sign up for a few midnight feedings/diaper changes.

    And the next one better be a little boy -I’ve always wanted a boy and I LOVE boy clothes. They absolutely kill me.

  14. I have an actual cute-stage-cuddle-monster baby not 5 ft. from me, and I still squeed with both outfits. It’s beyond me.

  15. Madison was terrified of ET the first time we watched that movie. Now, she asks for it daily.

  16. Hmm, maybe instead of my head I should mail you one of my babies. That would really put your uterus in check.

  17. I just spent the evening with a couple of kids who would cure you of that Right Quick.

  18. Kristin says:

    I could have written this post, though not nearly as well. Early this week I was with my friend’s 3 month old with the chubbiest little cheeks and sweetest smile. My ute was freaking the hell out. Did I mention I was also ovulating? I saw the same friend last night who was complaining about 1am, 4am and 6am wake-up calls from said baby and I was driving home so thankful that my husband got the snip snip.

  19. I hear you. I actually have to steer clear of the little girl clothes in BabyGap, lest I get all wistful and mopey.

  20. Oh, I hear this. We’ve been trying to have a 2nd baby for 1.5 years and seriously, those stores make my uterus skip a beat.

  21. Hell, I had my tubes tied 12 years ago and these things still squeeze my uterus.

  22. Michelle says:

    I totally have the same response. I thought it was just because I am still breastfeeding and the horomones make me crazy.

  23. Funny-wonderful. The writing here is just a delight. A joy to find online.

  24. I think my husband is sick of me oohing and ahhing over every baby thing. Tiny shoes really get me. Ohmygosh can a baby really be so tiny? SOOO cute…

    My clock is ticking though…so I guess it makes sense. :)

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