Twilight Barbies: Now I’ve Seen Everything

You have read all four books, plus The Host. You saw Twilight seven times in the movie theater and you bought the special collectors edition DVD. You have the New Moon trailer saved on your desktop. You are a card carrying Cullenist. The only thing you are missing is Edward and Bella barbies.

Luckily for you Mattel is all over that shit.

Behold:
twilight_barbie

Awww yeah. If it didn’t look like the Edward Ken doll was about to perform in some sort of Kabuki play and if he was a blonde (Good God, Meyer does go on and on about how he has golden highlights doesn’t she?) and… why are his legs so skinny, do all Ken dolls look like that and I just forgot or is it tight legged jeans?

Whatever, they don’t look much like Edward or Bella, but they are good enough if you are 12 years old and looking for some hot vampire on human action. They are also good enough if you are a lonely 45 year old.

What one should really consider is buying these, keeping them in the original packaging and selling them on eBay in 25 years when the baby hipsters that are just now being born are into Twilight ironically. You could make a fortune!

According to the press release I got you will be able to buy these starting in November (just in time for New Moon) for $24.95 wherever Barbies are sold. Whiteface included.

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  1. they are so ugly nobody would buy them

  2. Wow, there is no end to the madness.

    Also, you said “Cullenist” and now I can’t get “Cunningulus” out of my head. Never mind that I can’t pronouce the word…it’s stuck in my brain.

  3. I don’t get the obsession with Twilight at all.

  4. Hmmmm I bet all of the tweens out there are squeeing with excitement. Sarah, I don’t get it either but I’m also not 12. I recall LUVing those Teen Beat heartthrobs back in my day. Jonathan Taylor Thomas, anyone?

  5. Does blood gush out of barbies neck if she’s bitten? May as well have some effects that go along with it.

  6. Wow he really is that beautiful in “real” life

  7. my wife is drooling… awwww brotha

  8. I’m sort of wondering about the age appropriateness of this whole thing. I only have boys and none of us are into vampires, but is the subject matter of Twilight really appropriate for girls who are still playing with Barbies?

    Maybe I’m just being a big party pooper. I can accept that.

  9. Oh my. If this were still real geek days I’d buy them to go on top of my computer like people used to put dilbert and simpsons and star wars guys. How embarassing is that?

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