I am the only one who gets to make my kids cry.

Dear Jackass in the McDonalds Drive-Thru,

Don’t stand there and say that is the only toy you have. You just handed me two happy meals and one had a bear and one had a unicorn. How can you lie right to my face?

All I asked is if you had something more masculine. It was a bear with pink on it. My son just had two booster shots and he deserved a toy he didn’t hate. YOU are also a guy (albeit an angsty looking early twenties looking guy) did YOU want a pink bear when you were five?

Wait. Don’t answer that.

All I am saying is that the Happy Meal wasn’t for me. The girl standing behind you whipped out the box and there were seven or eight different kinds of stupid little stuffed animals in there.

I am not going to act like I wouldn’t be pissy if I was the one assistant manager who got stuck supervising the drive-thru at McDonalds during the lunch rush, but I am going to say that happy meals are supposed to make kids happy and you made my son cry.

I hope you feel like you saved yourself the three seconds it would have taken if you had just been honest with me in the first place. You are probably going to wish you would have spent the extra time it would have taken when you are sitting in your managers office after I call and complain.

Nobody else gets to make my kids cry.



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  1. Yeah, they’ve done this to my kids, too. It’s a cheap freakin’ toy. It costs your company a few pennies and (for whatever reason) means the world to my kid.

  2. #1 Irritating. And YES, this is the kind of minor thing that all added up could solve basic world problems and lessen overall anxiety, if people just wouldn’t be assholes and get an appropriate toy out of the box THAT’S RIGHT THERE instead.

    #2 So it’s bad to just sit there until they admit they’re lying and give you what you want? Because that’s what I did when they had all the Wizard of Oz characters (my mother occasionally has special happy meal needs, true story.)

    #3 Also someday I’m going to get fist-punched in a drive-through, but I’m way more difficult than you are.

  3. Ugh. Now I feel even more justified at my refusal to ever take my kids to McDonalds. (My in-laws have taken them, but the kids understand that that’s a grandpa-only treat.)

  4. Dumb-ass.


    McDonald’s keeps a box of toys so you can ‘trade’ in the ones you don’t like. We got rid of three Barbie things (from a few months ago – they’d been riding in their bags in the glovebox) for Transformers things a few weeks back.

    For shame. Blister ’em, Sarah.

  6. I hope the manager has something to say about the employee’s total jack-assery.Also, you’re such a nice Mom- my Mom was like “Just be happy you are getting chicken nuggets. Plus, what’t wrong with He-Man?” I would have traded the lame-o He-Man crap for a pink bear ANY DAY.

  7. definitely call a manager. I would have gone in right then, crying boy and all…that’s ridiculous.

  8. That dude doesn’t care about making your kid happy. He makes $6.00 an hour and therefore doesn’t get paid enough to care. With that said, if there’s a boxful of toys he should TRY to find one that is more boyish especially if the customer requested it.

  9. Go get ’em.

  10. I have had more stupid issues with those toys…why or why would they give two boys who look exactly alike two different toys? You’d think McDs would understand children. I never take them anymore, can’t handle the aggravation…that’s dad’s job.

    And I may need to borrow your title. Some old bag screamed at my son for peeing on a tree…made him cry.

  11. I got a panda recently. Those em effers! You need to drive back and DEMAND a new toy. And not buy a thing! Threaten to blog. Okay, but really? I hate these toys. TM was all, “Mom, does it make any noises?” And I was all, “No, baby, it is just a tiny stuffed animal.” “Okay,” she said, “Can you roll down the window?”

  12. Roar, mama, roar!!!

  13. He’s lucky it wasn’t me. I would have cut him. Even though in my case, the Happy Meal would have, in fact, been for me.

  14. It’s too bad In & Out Burger doesn’t have Happy Meals, because they have the happiest workers anywhere. And nicest.

  15. Is violence okay here? I’m never sure when I’m allowed to smack people, but I feel like smacking him.

  16. You. Go. Girl.

  17. Oh. Mygosh. I have SO lived this! I love how you say that Happy Meals are supposed to make them smile, not make them cry! I’m with you. In fact, maybe I’ll just print this whole post onto an index card and take it with me every time I venture into the Drive-Thru!

  18. At least you didn’t call 911. That’s always embarrassing when they play it on the radio.

  19. Rafiq of the Many says:

    If your 5 year old really deserved a toy for acting good at the doctor’s office, then go to KB toy store and buy him a Hotwheel.
    1. All beanie babies a girlish, Deal with it.
    2. It is the drive through operators job to hand out the food, not dig through a mountain of beanie babies to find just the right one.
    3. The manager really doesn’t care. The drive throughs are electronically timed, and truth be told, the manager would get more upset if the employee indulged you and you kid by searching for just the right beanie baby.
    4. Beanie Babies are collectible, the drive through would take hours if the took special request from every car that came through ordering a Happy Meal.
    5. The world is rough. Your child will cry. Other people WILL make you child cry. However, you are a good mother, and you will be able to teach him how to overcome adversity, and deal with dissapointing situations.

  20. I’m sorry. Did you call and lodge a formal complaint?

  21. I’ve gotta stop reading your blog. You’re scaring me with all the wonderful things I have to look forward to. :)

  22. Yep, ‘Happy’ Meal. Right there in the name. That being said, I think it’s kind of a misnomer. How ’bout Carboard Box o’ Saturated Fat? Crappy Meal?

  23. You encountered a McMoron.

    Considering McDonald’s currently is trying to really win over the “mom market” this isn’t the way to deliver services to families. I disagree that the manager would have gotten upset with the employee for making a customer happy. Last I checked, companies who provide services, are dependent upon customers to purchase the goods. Happy customers return. Unhappy customers don’t.

  24. This makes me want to punch Ronald McDonald in the nuts.

  25. The last person who made my kids cry (that wasn’t me anyway) was dearly sorry. I can only imagine how sorry this guy is gonna be.

  26. Aprylsantics says:

    First, it’s a HAPPY MEAL. The whole concept of it is you get a toy. The food is just filler—literally. Complain. They’ll do something about it. As for timing the drive thru? My mom complained to BK headquarters once about their ‘timing’ and as luck would have it, they were having a meeting about it at the time. That particular BK called to invite the whole family to a free meal.

    As for McD’s, the douche at the window does not share the same sentiments as the manager or the corporation as a whole. Call. They will make sure you are “happy”.

  27. Aprylsantics says:

    Also, it looks like someone who works at the drive thru reads this blog.

  28. Grrrr…they used to do that to me with the under 3 toys when Cassie was 2 and her brothers liked her toys better (they were cool!) “Those are only for under 3.”
    They are toys – one Happy Meal = one toy. What’s the big deal if we want to switch???? Grrrr….again!

    I’m so over fast food!

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