Archives for October 2009

Quitters Never Win

Last  night I dreamed that I started smoking again. It was such a realistic dream that I can tell you exactly how many cigarettes I smoked. Three. I woke up feeling terrible about myself. When will this stop? My Mom quit smoking in 1980. It has been almost 30 years and I remain under strict […]

I Am Not A Crook

I am not a criminal. I rarely break the law. Sure, I occasionally exceed the speed limit but other than traffic offenses 90% of the laws I have broken in my life have involved under-aged drinking. It has been a while since I have done anything that could get me in trouble with the law. […]

Hey, Look Over There!

I am gushing about my wine tasting at Shafer on The Whinery. David Cross is bragging about snorting cocaine near Barack Obama (from MamaPop). And I am looking for a job.

Okay, but what should I do with all of the poop and pee?

Can’t Talk, Busy Doing This

We are also eating amazing food and drinking incredible wine. I’d say I wished you were here, but it is really nice to have it just be the two of us for the first time since the children were born.

Some Dude

“Hey,” I said “That is a nice painting. Is that you?” “No,” he says “That is some dude.”

Don’t put it over the crack, Mommy

Don’t ask me how she did it, but Claudia scraped her butt on a tree. She was wearing jeans and climbing in a tree she knows she isn’t supposed to be in and somehow she has a huge scratch on her ass. I heard her crying outside, but since she has a fit about every […]

Venus In Furs

I am tired I am weary I could sleep for a thousand years. The other day I could not get “Venus in Furs” out of my head. That in itself isn’t too shocking. I like The Velvet Underground and it is a great song. The thing was that I actually was tired and weary. I […]

I Admit It

I read this headline and thought Wow, that isn’t very many.

You Want to Hear Something Totally Crazy?

My across the street neighbors decided to go away for a couple of days and I was talking to the lady that lives there about feeding their cat. It was one of those conversations that should have taken two minutes and we both ended up standing in my driveway talking about life for 45 minutes […]

I Left My iPhone in Philadelphia*

I found myself standing in the rain in front of Union Station thinking to myself What kind of moron leaves her iPhone on the seat of the van? Of course the answer is THIS kind of moron. I remembered my backpack. I remembered the Nikon D90 that I am borrowing. I remembered my purse. I […]