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Archive for October, 2009

Quitters Never Win

October 30, 2009 | Questions For You, The Unexplained

Last  night I dreamed that I started smoking again.

It was such a realistic dream that I can tell you exactly how many cigarettes I smoked.

Three.

I woke up feeling terrible about myself.

When will this stop?No_Smoking_sign

My Mom quit smoking in 1980. It has been almost 30 years and I remain under strict instructions that whenever the doctors tell her that she is going to die (she is fine now, she has been telling us this for years) I am to bring a carton of Newports to the hospital where she will smoke them one by one.

Yes, I know you can’t smoke in hospitals anymore. I am assuming we will be able to wheel her out to the smoking section or something.

My question for you is does this ever end? How long do I have to go without a cigarette before I stop having dreams about smoking?

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 11:05 pm | 34 Comments  

I Am Not A Crook

October 28, 2009 | I Have Issues, I'm an Idiot

I am not a criminal. I rarely break the law. Sure, I occasionally exceed the speed limit but other than traffic offenses 90% of the laws I have broken in my life have involved under-aged drinking.

It has been a while since I have done anything that could get me in trouble with the law. So why, why, why do I get nervous when I have to pass through the security gates leaving the library?

library_security

It isn’t like I am stealing free books.

Just me then?

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 4:19 pm | 13 Comments  

Hey, Look Over There!

October 27, 2009 | Randomness

I am gushing about my wine tasting at Shafer on The Whinery.

David Cross is bragging about snorting cocaine near Barack Obama (from MamaPop).

And I am looking for a job.

Hey, look over there!

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 1:12 pm | 5 Comments  

Okay, but what should I do with all of the poop and pee?

October 25, 2009 | I Have Issues, I'm an Idiot, Pictures, Proof of My Immaturity, potty humor

Okay, but what should I do with all of the poop and pee?

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 2:32 pm | 19 Comments  

Can’t Talk, Busy Doing This

October 19, 2009 | Pictures, tourists

Golden Gate Bridge

Ledson Castle

We are also eating amazing food and drinking incredible wine.

I’d say I wished you were here, but it is really nice to have it just be the two of us for the first time since the children were born.

Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @ 10:54 am | 20 Comments  
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