I Am Not A Crook

I am not a criminal. I rarely break the law. Sure, I occasionally exceed the speed limit but other than traffic offenses 90% of the laws I have broken in my life have involved under-aged drinking.

It has been a while since I have done anything that could get me in trouble with the law. So why, why, why do I get nervous when I have to pass through the security gates leaving the library?


It isn’t like I am stealing free books.

Just me then?

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  1. Book thief. Snort.

    I feel that way at the airport and I’ve never done anything more illegal than you have.

  2. I didn’t drink underage. I almost never speed or do anything wrong while driving, and yet I always feel uncomfortable when there is a cop car behind me. Why is that?

  3. Women, and especially mother-women, are programmed to feel guilty. In general.

  4. I think I have finally grown out of the adrenaline rush/irrational fear and paranoia when I see a cop car following me. It has only taken 10 years in uniform, clearly I am a slow learner.

  5. Me, too. But, really, it means you have a darker side. Mwah ah ah.

  6. I got pulled over once, about 12 years ago, because my tags were expired. Now I knew my tags were expired, and was actually on my way to the DMV to get that fixed (Really!)- so I had a pretty good idea as to why I was being pulled over. But as I am sitting there waiting for the cop to come up to my window; to helpfully inform me that my tags were expired, I am riding on so much adrenaline you would have thought I had a trunk full of drugs. I’m sitting there sweating and practically shaking – thinking WTF is wrong with me?? Good to know I am not alone.

  7. I am ALWAYS nervous leaving the library! What if the books didn’t sit on the self checkout long enough?

  8. I am with you. I’m the woman who gets out of the pool when they call break b/c I forget break is only for kids. And I had to go into the teacher’s lounge at the kids’ school and I felt like I was breaking the rules. And when I stand next to a police officer I’m always worried I’m going to get arrested. For what, I don’t know?!

  9. OH.MY.GOD. I am the same way! I get all freaked out by them.

  10. I am a librarian and you feel nervous because the systems go off for no reason sometimes. We know when someone isn’t stealing something: they freeze when the alarms go off, get really red and return to the checkout desk. The dirtbags that are stealing just keep going. And the good book thieves know how to take out the sensitizing strips. Sorry on behalf of the library world, LOL!

  11. I get nervous passing through any sensor! Sometimes, I feel guilty just for the thought that someone might think I’m swiping something. I’ll put that on my long list of items to address if I ever get myself to therapy.

  12. Dorothy Rimson says:

    I think i am better of the lot.

  13. I always assume alarms will go off when I leave stores through contraptions like this. Perceived guilt? Probably.

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