Quitters Never Win

Last  night I dreamed that I started smoking again.

It was such a realistic dream that I can tell you exactly how many cigarettes I smoked.

Three.

I woke up feeling terrible about myself.

When will this stop?No_Smoking_sign

My Mom quit smoking in 1980. It has been almost 30 years and I remain under strict instructions that whenever the doctors tell her that she is going to die (she is fine now, she has been telling us this for years) I am to bring a carton of Newports to the hospital where she will smoke them one by one.

Yes, I know you can’t smoke in hospitals anymore. I am assuming we will be able to wheel her out to the smoking section or something.

My question for you is does this ever end? How long do I have to go without a cigarette before I stop having dreams about smoking?

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  1. I don’t know, I still dream about them six years on. Depressing I know!

  2. I’m five years out from my last ever cigarette and over ten years since I officially quit, and I still have that dream.

  3. i have no idea but you should be so proud for NOT smoking, my dad smokes and it is horrible. i hate it….

  4. wow, I can’t remember ever having a dream about smoking. I think that would kind of suck. I quit last May for the, oh, I dunno, third or fourth time. I’m too old for that crap.

  5. Ahh, the dream. I have had it frequently over the past 15 or so years.

    I loved, loved, loved smoking. Sigh.

  6. I have this friend who’s never smoked in her life and yet has regular dreams in which she is a smoker.

    It’s like me. I’ve never had a cavity in my life, and yet my dreams frequently feature all of my teeth falling out.

  7. I think I’m going to print this post out and keep it in a safe place. When the time for the alcohol, tobacco and drugs conversation comes, I will pull it out. Three’s a little too young for The Conversation, right?

  8. I’ve never had a smoking dream – although I can tell you I STILL (twelve years later) catch a whiff sometimes when I’m on the sidewalk or something and think ‘Mm, that smells so GOOD.’

    Then I remember am responsible adult (or reasonable facsimile of) and hurry away.

  9. I have never smoked in real life (I hate the smell of cigarette smoke), but I’ve had several dreams where I smoke.

    I’m blaming the movies for that.

  10. Here’s the thing that those of us who have quit lots of things (such as drugs and alcohol). Those dreams ONLY HAPPEN TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE QUIT.

    It’s a GOOD thing. It means that you’ve quit, and you’re doing well. Did you dream about smoking while you smoked? Yeah. See?

    There are a couple other ways to look at it. In some ways it’s like the addiction is trying to be all sneaky and trick you into thinking you’ve made a mistake when you haven’t. I used to feel so shaken from dreams where I’d gotten drunk or shot up, but I would remind myself that it’s just a trick. It’s not real.

    Secondly? there are many in recovery who view those as freebies. :) Not sure that’s a healthy outlook, but maybe with cigarettes? Not so bad. LOL!

  11. My fiance and I both quit to save money for our wedding. He is constantly surprised that I still think about it – it’s been less than 2 months for me. He thinks I should just be “over it” at this point. But I dream about smoking, and about 9 times a day have the split second disappointment that I’m really NOT about to go have a cigarette. I miss it in the car, and after eating, and with coffee and ALL the TIME.

    The only way I’ve been able to deal with it so far is by saying that I’m a “smoker on a break,” not a non-smoker, because the concept of this constant disappointment going on forever is too much for me to tolerate.

    And HE? Doesn’t even think about it anymore.

  12. I’ll have that dream the rest of my days. And, yeah, the day of the death sentence, I get to go get some Salem Lights. Eff it.

  13. I quit 22 years ago.

    I think like your mother.

    If I’m told I’m going to die tomorrow bring on the cigarettes and chocolate!

  14. I’ll have that dream the rest of my days. And, yeah, the day of the death sentence, I get to go get some Salem Lights. Eff it.
    Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!

  15. I miss smoking. If it weren’t bad for you I’d start up again. I don’t have dreams of smoking though. Been … wow… 17 years?

  16. I don’t have an answer, but I suppose it may never go away, as it was an addiction. I quit smoking June 16th of this year, after smoking for 17 years (I started at 13…bad girl). But the other day, in my boss’s office, before I knew what I was doing, I had a lite cigarette in my mouth and had a taken a few puffs. My boyfriend says I have to start the count over. I told him that’s only true in AA. Right? RIGHT!? ‘Cuz I was really frickin’ proud of myself!

  17. I don’t know, but I had another dream about you the other night. I don’t think anyone was smoking, but it was really weird.

  18. I don’t smoke. Never have.

    Had a dream where I smoked a cigarette. I woke up in a full-blown asthma attack.

    I don’t know if I had the dream because I was having the asthma attack. Or if I started having the asthma attack because of the dream.

    Either way, it was weird.

  19. Listen to this crazy shit: It took being in the hospital WITH CANCER (not lung, as if it matters, heh) for months for me to finally, completely quit. And even now, a few months cancer free? I want to smoke every.single.day. Think about it, dream about it, wish for it. But as long as we’re only thinking/dreaming about it, we’re all good. Keep up the good work.

  20. I’m a former smoker, and I’ve had the dream MANY times. Even though in reality, the smell of smoke now makes me sick to my stomach and my head throb like I’ve been to a death metal concert. A friend of mine has been smoke free for over 25 years, (she’s alot older than me) and still keeps a pack of them in her drawer, just in case. Isn’t that strange?? I know one thing is for sure, I hope she changes out that pack every once in a while, otherwise they would probably knock her on her ass.

  21. Dude. I quit almost ten years ago. Then I relapsed a couple of years ago. I am currently on my last pack of my current relapse. And I’m with your mom except my poison are Marlboro reds. Wish me luck when my pack runs out round about Tuesday.

  22. It stopped for me, eventually. I had that very dream for a few years, though, and every time I caught myself smoking (in the dream) I knew I was right back in the middle of my addiction and I was so MAD! I can honestly say now that I have no desire for a cigarette at all (it has been 20+ years since I quit!) and I don’t think I would even want one with the death sentence. Chocolate, yes. (But then, I have that all the time, anyway.)

  23. I’m a quitter too, and I’ve heard similar – that you’ll never stop wanting one, at least sometimes. I still get cravings, really strong ones, even though I know I’ll never smoke again.

  24. I quit smoking for the last time 15 years ago. And I still dream about it and miss it still.

    OMG, the delicious, delicious taste of a cigarette in the morning or with coffee or after sex or while driving or having a cocktail or in the middle of a long meal.

    And now I’m drooling.

  25. It’s been almost 4 yrs for me and I still think about a cig when I go into a bar. It’s insane.

  26. I’ve never smoked, but the dream you spoke of resonated with me for another reason. I am on a wheat-free diet and frequently have dreams where I realize I’m eating something with wheat in it about 3 bites in and then wake up feeling terrible about myself AND worrying about the digestive effects of the wheat on my system. Yeah, that’s always awesome.

  27. I don’t dream about smoking, but every now and then I will get into my car and reach for a cigarette. It’s been three years. My grandma quite 40 years ago and she says she still thinks about it almost every day. I don’t think it ever goes away.

  28. I just tried to inhale your screen.

  29. Going on 12 years cigarette-free and I still have smoking dreams. I wake up so excited that I got to feel what it is like to smoke again. I loved smoking, but am glad I quit.

  30. Mmmm….smoking…so bad yet so good. OK, I am not helping things for you or me.

    According to my mother it never ends. She quit about 34 years ago and still dreams about it. It’s sick.

    H came home from a work event last night smelling of cigs and tasting like them too. I was so pissed.I quit and it doesn’t help when he cheats like that. The big AND? I don’t want him dying on me either.

  31. I have been done smoking for almost 8 years now. I started again for about 6 months before I found out I was pregnant with our third child. I quit again, cold turkey.

    I STILL crave cigs every now and then. I like the smell of them even now. I don’t dream about them (at least not that I remember) but still sometimes find myself holding my hand up and out the window in the car 😉

  32. I used to dream about smoking when I was pregnant. I have a one-a-day habit that I am thinking of breaking again. Once you’re hooked you’re hooked. When you quit, I think it’s a constant battle. I’ve lost that battle several times, but I’m still going to fight it again.

    good luck,
    ciao,
    rpm

  33. I quit eight years ago and I’ve never had a dream about smoking, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop being interested in doing it again, if only it weren’t such a gross, expensive yet thoroughly fulfilling habit.

  34. I can help you with some materials from our tobacco quit web sites at work – but more importantly, as your friend, I SUPPORT YOU! And you talking about this openly and getting support is also VERY IMPORTANT!

    Keep it up sister!!

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