What is the appropriate way to end 2009? I know this was a shitty year for a lot of you out there and I don’t mean to gloat, but I had so much fun this year. This is in no way comprehensive but it is what it is.
January
February
Life Should Not Imitate “Trainspotting”
March
The Sex Talk Aftermath
April
Turn, Turn, Turn
Woody Harrelson Mistakes Paparazzi for Zombies
May
Penis Envy? Not Me.
June
How do you do a Kiwi?
July
When Mommy Travels
Hot Chicks in Centre Court with a Side of Racism
Michael Jackson’s Ghost Tries to Straighten Out Amy Winehouse
August
I am the only one that gets to make my kids cry.
September
Back Door Friend
Top Chef Episode IV: A New Hope
October
November
December
White Belt
Well thanks for reading me this year. I really do appreciate it.
Now in a gross act of blatantly copying a friend of mine I will ask you what you wrote, or photographed, or did that you loved this year. Links are encouraged in the comments.
And Happy New Year.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
2:43 pm |
Oh, well if it’s opposite day then you guys both smell really, really good.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
4:16 pm |
The Goon Squad (The Goon Squad is my five year old twins for those of you who are new around here) and I were discussing Santa and if he was watching you on the day after Christmas.
I thought he was probably taking a break, but maybe he had spies.
Ian said he knew exactly who the spies were.
The elves.
And they watched us through the vents.
Now I am completely paranoid.
All I can think of is Pennywise, Troll, AND a really freaking scary elf just waiting in the duct work.
I’ll never sleep again.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:21 am |
I was looking at some pictures of myself from Christmas and I noticed that I have this whole new bonus chin.
I don’t like it one bit.
I was thinking that if I grew a goatee or a full beard it would disguise this layer of fat.
It occurs to me that I should be happy that I can’t grow facial hair, but all the same, if I were a man I would stop shaving today. Instead I will let someone else finish the pan of brownies.
Or maybe I’ll just buy a nice scarf.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
4:49 pm |
Shopping anywhere on Christmas Eve is most likely going to suck, but shopping at H-Mart is a nightmare.
For any of you that are familiar with H-Marts, they describe themselves as a Korean-American Asian supermarket chain, and the one near my house is generally busy and the parking lot is treacherous on a normal day.
On Christmas Eve the place was a zoo.
I just needed some chorizo.
And for those of you who are wondering why I went to a Korean supermarket to buy chorizo I say SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I WENT TO THREE SAFEWAYS FIRST AND THEY WERE ALL OUT OF CHORIZO. I WAS DESPERATE!
No. They didn’t have chorizo, but I did see an unattended skillet of hot oil so that is something different.At the end of the day I was glad they didn’t have chorizo because the lines were all at least 15 customers deep.
Anyway, for future reference I recommend staying as far away from H-Mart on Christmas Eve as possible.
And I had chorizo in my freezer anyway.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to each of you and may you have everything you need for dinner at home already.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
7:40 pm |
