January 28, 2010
Last night I was at choir rehearsal and we were working on a particularly difficult piece of music.
For Melissa, Lori, Elisa and Loralee it was the Mathias “Let the People Praise Thee, O God”, the piece that he wrote for Prince Charles and Lady Diana’s wedding.
For everybody else it sounds like this.
I’m a first alto and the the alto line looks like this
and this
If you are a vocalist you are cringing. If you are an instrumentalist you are wondering what my deal is. If you can’t read music you stopped reading this post five minutes ago.
Before we moved on to the next piece the director asked if we had any questions.
I turned to the lady on my right. I said “Yeah, can we sing something else?”
No response.
I turned to the girl on my left and I said “Yeah, I have a question. What the hell Mathias?”
She looked at me like I had several heads.
I am so glad I have you guys.
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January 28th, 2010 at 8:45 am, cartoongoddess Says:
I don’t sing. However, I play piano and I do read music and I can tell you that if I had to sing that I’d go nuts. It’s so ROBOT.
January 28th, 2010 at 8:57 am, Julie Says:
I am clearly an instrumentalist, because I don’t get it.
But I do think you’re funny.
January 28th, 2010 at 9:56 am, Lori Says:
And that pants on the ground guy was criticized for repetitiveness.
January 28th, 2010 at 11:34 am, Loralee Says:
I guarantee I would have LAUGHED MY ASS OFF.
And THEN I would have moved next to you even though I am an Alto II JUST TO TORTUE YOU AND MAKE YOUR CLASHING INTERVALS HARDER TO HEAR! MUWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
It’s how I roll.
January 28th, 2010 at 11:51 am, Nicole M. Says:
It’s nice to know that in a world of vocalists and instrumentalists that I’m not the only person that has already asked the choir director if we could sing something else!
LOVE IT!
January 28th, 2010 at 11:52 am, Anne Says:
Hey, I’m a first alto, too! *fist bump*
(And re: the music itself, ACK. I agree, sing something else!)
January 28th, 2010 at 12:00 pm, Suebob Says:
How iz u singing dat?
January 28th, 2010 at 1:33 pm, daniel Says:
Thankfully we aren’t in choir together because if I heard you ask that I would have laughed so hard milk would have come out my nose.
January 28th, 2010 at 1:40 pm, Suzy Voices Says:
Yes, you ARE funny. Those choir peeps just don’t appreciate it because they have to sing stuff like that.
January 28th, 2010 at 3:13 pm, adhocmom Says:
I am SUPER impressed. I was curious enough to pause Wife Swap to stop and listen – and that’s saying a lot, cause I have to blog/eat lunch AND watch Wife Swap during nap time.
x,
Paula
http://www.adhocmom.com
January 28th, 2010 at 5:03 pm, Nancy Says:
I’m a 1st Alto too (at least I was 20 years ago when I was last in a choir) and that music makes my eyes bleed.
January 28th, 2010 at 5:26 pm, Sadia Says:
I’m a vocalist. First soprano, otherwise known as “those chicks who hardly ever have to bother with the pesky harmonies”. I cringe for you. The altos in MY old choir would have been with you. In fact, they would have had T-shirts made.
January 28th, 2010 at 9:04 pm, Lori Says:
*Cringe*
Just start singing something else anyway. See if you can show them the error of their ways.
Also, I’m still jealous.
January 28th, 2010 at 11:00 pm, Laurie Says:
Loralee said clashing intervals.
I can read music minimally but really it just looks kind of boring.
Why can’t people just know things are funny contextually and react accordingly? I worked with this evil person (EVIL DR. EVIL EVIL) in grad school and we were leaving the union where she forced me to go get her stupid lunch with her every day although she didn’t like me. And there was a guy sitting there at one lone Earth Day table, in the midst of all of these overprivileged private university students who didn’t give a crap about the Earth. And he was just sitting there, reading, contentedly repping the Earth. And I made a comment to that effect, and she said, “GOD you just say the WEIRDEST MOST RANDOM THINGS like what IS THAT?”
And then I killed her, and said “All you had to do was laugh.”
Not really, but you know I still think about it occasionally and wish I’d at least popped her tires, if I were the tire-popping sort.
January 29th, 2010 at 1:45 pm, Kristabella Says:
And then did you tap a fake microphone and ask “is thing on?”
January 31st, 2010 at 9:33 am, freckletree. Says:
i know the feelings too well.
ME: oh yeh, you should read my post.
REAL LIFE: what language do you write your blog in?
ME: sarcasm.
REAL LIFE: sar–wha?
we are glad to have you as well.
the joy of “noncommittal, indirect, never actually see a person but know more about them than their spouse” friendships . . . ahhhh.
January 31st, 2010 at 7:11 pm, Irma Says:
That is some seriously shitty music, I don’t care how good it sounds when you put it all together.
I’ll stop whining about my Josh Groban piece now…
No, I won’t. Who the HELL makes a choir sing both Bach and Josh Groban?? GAAAH
February 2nd, 2010 at 11:07 am, Tito Says:
I know.. I’m a smart ass too. I make a hilarious joke and people saythings like “what do you mean by that?”
You GET me!
February 2nd, 2010 at 1:21 pm, merseydotes Says:
Those do not look like fun intervals to pick out amidst the other parts, especially the second altos.
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:27 pm, Alison Says:
I was telling my dad this story tonight as he was leaving for choir practice. He said to tell you his choir director was hard on the Altos too.
February 4th, 2010 at 10:00 am, Suz Says:
I love that our choir director tells jokes for the benefit of the Tenors (who are all a bunch of wiseacres). I feel your pain.
February 5th, 2010 at 2:11 am, KathiD Says:
I don’t read music.
But I think you’re funny.