Nobody Remain Calm

It isn’t even 5:00 PM yet and my county has already canceled school tomorrow due to Snopocalypse II:  Electric Boogaloo.

The kids are going ape shit. They already tried to wash the mirror with bright purple foaming kids soap.

My local twitter prognosticators are saying that school probably won’t be back in until Tuesday at the soonest.

I know that one to two feet is a lot of snow but wow.Gas-BBQ-Grill-in-Snow

When I was at the grocery store yesterday there was a huge run on hot dog and hamburger buns. I’m still fairly new to snow, is one supposed to barbecue during a blizzard? Is it like the Fourth of July? Because my plan was to sit on the couch with a blanket and read a nice book or something.

I just got a text that said there was a run on Spam at Costco. SPAM. It is a snow storm not a nuclear holocaust.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I understand we stand a chance of getting 24 inches of snow. I understand that 24 inches is an assload of snow, but can’t we all just calm the hell down and stay inside?

And by stay inside, I mean after school on Friday, and only until Monday morning.

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  1. Wait, 1 to 2 feet, or 48 inches (4 feet)?

    Either way, that is A LOT of snow. The biggest snowstorm I’ve ever been through dropped 31 inches, and that was AMAZING. It was in 1991 or so and I still remember it clearly.

  2. I don’t know about the grilling supplies, but in Rhode Island, whenever it is FORECASTED to snow there is a run on milk and bread. This is all due to a huge state-shutting storm that happened in 1978. I get that it was a big storm, but ’78 and STILL people buy up all the bread and milk they can find.

  3. Maybe they are going to microwave the hotdogs? People went crazy here when a hurricane was going to come in near the middle of the state. Stores ran out of water bottles & Home Depot sold an assload of generators. I don’t think that anyone realized that we are in the middle of the state & never had major hurricane damage.

  4. If there’s one thing that makes people batshit crazy, especially in places where it doesn’t snow very often, it’s a big-ass snowstorm.

    @nonlineargirl: I was an infant in RI during the blizzard of ’78 and my mom STILL reminds me how she had to risk life and limb to go out and buy me milk. :)

  5. I am far more afraid of Spam than snow. Snow melts and goes away. Spam could last forever.

  6. My parents went to a big-ass local grocery store this afternoon and they said even though ALL the checkout lines were staffed, people were lined up into the middle of the store, into the aisles. They said it was insane.

    I have no clue what I will do with my kids all weekend. I like the couch/book idea but I suspect there will be a bit more activity around here.

  7. Dude. That is a shit load of snow. Can I have some? I’m DYING for snow like that here (Michigan), I can see my damn grass. Am not happy. We are used to a lot of snow, but people pull that “the world is ending, STOCK UP ON SPAM” shit here too and it makes me nuts. I mean, we can always eat our young. Right? Let’s not tell my daughter that though! Good luck with the snow and the stir crazy kids!

  8. shit. ottawa, smack dab in the middle of canada, right here. that is a lot of snow even by canadian standards, but i tend to agree with you, stay inside! i was in Rochester NY during the great power outage of 2003 and same thing! people were crazy in the supermarkets. I was truly afraid the world was ending. and i was trapped in rochester, without power. and spam? there is never an excuse for spam, IMO.

    oh, and a word of caution, keep the food colouring high up and out of sight. i remember having a brainiac idea to steal ours and colour the snow as a 5 year old. not good for the snowsuit. nor easy to hide from my parents. ok, maybe your kids are smarter. forget i said anything.


  9. I grew up in that area and understand how everyone freaks out. There is always a run on beer, milk and toilet paper before a big snowstorm. We had one last weekend in Va. Beach and the same thing happened here.

  10. Well, sure. In Minnesota, we eat hamburger buns and Spam from October to April. Why, is that weird?

  11. Meh. Welcome to winter in Canada! 😉

    Enjoy your inside time. Hope you get those kids back to school soon!

  12. wait, what? we were supposed to stocking up on hot dog buns and spam? we are so totally fucked.

  13. Hot dog and hamburger buns because of the SuperBowl, maybe? I’m guessing here…

  14. Holy cripes! Is it snowing there already? Or did they just cancel because it’s forecast?

    Supposed to hit here tomorrow night.

  15. Dude? The schools were out Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday here because of Saturday’s snowfall. There was a two-hour delay today. And we just got the robocall saying school was canceled for Friday because of the upcoming snow.

    I’ll be so glad when winter is over.

  16. I suppose I won’t be able to complain to you about the rain we’re getting, from now until Saturday.

  17. Bread (in all of its forms. I bought Challah this week and wheat sandwich buns tonight, neither of which I ever eat) milk and toilet paper are our snow things. They’re all we have. It is the ritual. If it weren’t for this and the Federal government, people would have nothing to smack talk D.C. about.

    Oh, wait.

    I also think the Spam thing was an aberration. You’re in a state where people do weird things. Maybe the Jets were in town? Other Hawaiian transplants? Because that makes no sense.

    I frequently forget that you’re not from here. You’ll get used to it. And someday you’ll quit buying your chorizo and arugula and your raspberry coulis and your other Top Chef shit and you’ll do it too.


  18. I almost took pictures at the liquor store yesterday when I picked up a six pack of Magic Hat for Josh–the store was absolutely gutted. And it was 2 hours in the grocery store just to pick up a few things!

  19. I get the lack of bread and milk but I had to crawl to the back of the case to get frozen spinach and there wasn’t a single quart of fat-free half & half! It was really worse than Target on Christmas Eve.

  20. Oh, yeah – every year in Massachusetts right before the first snow, everyone races to the supermarket and fills their carts with necessities (usually stuff like twinkies and beer) but by about the 3rd storm they all shovel the snow in their sneakers.

  21. Damn. The only thing in the forecast in my neck of the woods (north of Boston) is WIND!

    At least if it was snowing the kids could go out and play.

    We definitely have the bread and milk runs up here – even when it’s only supposed to rain.

  22. I bought 3 loaves of bread (buy one, get two free) and a package of toilet paper. Both because we were completely out and I had no choice regardless of weather forecast.

    I agree with you. Stay inside ’til the worst is over, then release the hounds.

    Except dh is taking our SUV north for National Guard duty. So I’ll be trapped. In the house. With the hounds.

    Anyone know how to start our snow blower?

  23. Oh, and isn’t it Super Bowl weekend? That might explain the run on the beer.

    There is no explanation for the SPAM.

  24. Lumpyhead's Mom's friend Sarah says:

    I think people stock up on things that can be eaten without electricity in case the power goes out. I would have to be close to death from starvation before I ate a cold hotdog on a roll, or spam in any form, but I have heard that it can be done.
    Growing up near Boston, storms meant marshmallows roasted in the fireplace once the power went out. And I, too, remember the Blizzard of ’78 – no school for a week after more than two feet of snow. Even New England doesn’t bounce back immediately from that, so I shudder to think of us this weekend in lil o’ Arlington, VA.

  25. This is all foreign to me too, and I live in Chicago.

    We don’t get snow storms like this, hardly every. I think the most we’ll get is a foot. But we’re used to it, so we have the plows and the salt trucks. Whereas you guys aren’t used to it so it like literally shuts everything down. I’m kind of jealous because I would like a reason to not leave the house for days!

    Maybe SPAM and hot dogs because they aren’t real meat and if the power goes out, you can still have food that doesn’t spoil?

  26. We’re only supposed to get 3-5 inches in NJ and the grocery store was packed this morning. Though I know some die hard football fans that would walk through 10 feet of snow to get to a Superbowl party!

  27. Never underestimate the complex flavour of pan fried Spam.

  28. We have been informed here in NYC that “it is going to snow.” Which usually means like, 1.5 lame ass inches of snow. WTF can you even do with that much snow? NOTHING. You can’t even make a decent snowball. PEOPLE ARE FREAKING OUT. Buying up all the vodka. .

    I don’t recommend the barbeque. . I do suggest you get out the crock pot.

  29. my guess and I speak with some experience is they are anticipating the power outage. we were out of power for 3 days during the December storm and athe grill was how we cooked. I had a turkey in the fridge. and we threw it on the bbq. and it was actually quite good and kept Eric occupied for a couple hours. hopefully you havn’t or will not lose power. it sucks.

  30. You get SPAM alerts? Dude.

  31. My neighbor has grilled through this entire time. It’s insane and yet I can’t stop looking outside to see what he is grilling. He shoveled his deck to grill again yesterday.

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