If you accidentally use the “Voice Control” function while meaning to use the “Voice Memo” app on my iPhone to record an idea for a post about how the mean lady at Whole Foods yelled at you when you said “No, I didn’t find everything I was looking for today. I couldn’t find the cilantro.” […]
Archives for April 2010
Why is it inappropriate to talk about butts in public? I keep telling my kids this and I realized that I don’t have a clue what makes it tasteless. I know it isn’t socially acceptable, but I don’t know why. It is like curse words, except I just tell the kids that they can say […]
What do you get when you cross PMS and a lawnmower? “I TOLD YOU THREE TIMES TO GET YOUR TOYS OUT OF THE YARD BEFORE I MOWED THE LAWN!” Maybe next time they will listen.
I wrote this post for BlogHer to honor National Humor Month. I cross posted it here so you can all read these wonderful posts because every single one of them made me laugh. Did you know that April was National Humor Month? Neither did I until a two weeks ago, but it is true. National […]
Potty training is hard. Eventually, after at least four years of diapers and at least two years of sticker charts, begging, bribing, yelling, accidents, wailing and gnashing of teeth we got both kids day trained. This meant that all day long things were cool. Everybody used the toilet as needed, and then at night they […]
There are many things that I fully expected to have to teach my kids – and then there are others that take me by surprise, especially when I am naked. For example, I always assumed that I would have to teach them to read, I always knew that I would have to teach them not […]
What is funnier than a young, tough looking man wearing big jeans and a hip hop t-shirt in a quiet library blasting his iPod so loudly that you can hear Phil Collins begging you to take a look at him now? I can’t think of anything either.
Did you know that Meat Loaf is Scott Ian’s father-in-law? True story. Scott Ian from Anthrax is married to Pearl Aday, Meat Loaf’s daughter. In related news, I can’t find a picture of these two together anywhere. How is it even possible that there aren’t any of Scott Ian’s wedding picture on the internet? Maybe […]
My friend Susan, you might know her as WhyMommy, is having surgery this morning. She is having six tumors removed from her body as part of her ongoing battle with cancer. My other friend Jean, you might know her as Stimey, had a fabulous idea. We all want to support Susan, but we don’t want […]
My five year old son said to me “Can you believe that Paige has to go to church on Easter?” Well, crap. I guess I have neglected to tell my children about The Resurrection. “Yes, Honey,” I said. “Easter is the most important holiday for Christians.” Then I proceeded to tell him all about the […]