We were playing “The Cleaning Game” at my house. This involves me setting the timer on my iPhone for 10 minutes. For 10 minutes, there is only playing – no cleaning whatsoever. It is important to start with a playing segment. When the alarm rings I start the timer again. For 10 minutes there is [...]
Me: Claudia, I think the bathing suit you wore this morning is getting too small for you. Her: No it isn’t. Me: Really, honey, I think it is. Look at this picture. Her: That isn’t too small! It was just crammed up the hole.
I was just in the airplane bathroom (no, this is not about poop) when I noticed the lovely wallpaper. I think my questions are obvious: 1) There is wallpaper in the airplane lavatories? I have to pay $25 per bag and six bucks for a shitty sandwich and United is spending money on wallpapering the [...]
First of all, I was forced to watch her stupid movie “The Last Song” on the way home from San Francisco. Second of all, her dumb movie made me cry on the airplane. Twice. And I was sitting next to a 14 year old boy who probably thinks I am the biggest loser that ever [...]
Two days ago I said to Devra “My cats are acting crazy. I think we are going to have an earthquake or something.” Then I left town. This morning I awoke to the sound of a text message. It was my neighbor wondering if I felt the earthquake. Since I am in San Francisco I [...]
I’ve been shopping for the MamaPop Sparklecorn party at BlogHer this year. Now I just have one question. What goes with these shoes? (thanks to Flutter for leading me to the website where I bought these) ps – These shoes are 100% vegan. Weird, huh. pps – I hope I can walk in them. ppps [...]
I just got a facebook friend request from Chs Ninetyone. What kind of name is Chs? I thought? Was Chris typing really fast? Then I said his last name out loud. “Ninety One.” Like Nineteen Ninety-One. The year I graduated from high school. Oh. Not Chs. C.H.S. Holy crap. They must be preparing for my [...]
In my life long quest to make everything I like to do all part of the same thing, look what I made for my friend Kim for BlogHer. Cool, huh? If you find her at BlogHer she will probably grace you with one – assuming you use your manners. It was my very first order [...]
The hardest part about being a parent – besides the sleep deprivation and all of the crushing responsibility – is keeping a straight face when I say things like “Pu-pu platters are not funny!” or “Nobody wants to see you shaking your butt all day long.” or “That isn’t really called an upper nut.” Full [...]
Me: I’m going to run downstairs and grab a beer. Would you like one? Him: Sure. Me: Do you want a Sierra or a Hoegaarden? Him: A what? Me: Hoegaarden. Him: That sounds like my kind of garden. I’ll take one of those. * * * * *
A Cult? Really? When did acrostics get so judgmental? Sheesh. Who wrote this puzzle? Jeb Bush?