Somebody is Going to Have to Explain this to Me

I was sitting at the table, eating my yogurt, minding my own business when the phone rang.

It was an automated survey.

Question: Do you own a small dog? really-small-dog

I said no.


What the hell kind of business could require an anonymous automated telephone survey where the sole question is “Do you own a small dog?”

Are the politicians planning a smear campaign claiming that one of the candidates hates small dogs? Do they have a picture of a senator kicking a chihuahua? Or am I totally off. Maybe there were more questions if you said yes to the first query.

Maybe Alex Trebek was punking me.

I don’t know the answer, but I do know this:

1) I am going to stop answering my phone.

2) This crap is going to bother me for months.

[photo: Nutloaf]

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  1. I got that call today, too! I hung up without answering.

    Damn, now that’s gonna bug me. I hope somebody in the comments knows….

  2. people are stupid

  3. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that if you’d said yes, you’d have received additional questions regarding your small-dog ownership. It was probably something targeting small dog owners. :::shrug:::

  4. I would totally vote for someone if they hated small dogs.

  5. omg! i got the same call this week! ridiculous.

  6. Frank Sucks says:

    It looks like they were looking for people with small dogs to ask add. questions.

  7. I’m guessing that they’re testing a new polling system with a ridiculous question that they know they’ll get few, if any, responses on.

    Either that, or it’s a very sophisticated mountain lion canvassing your hood for his next meal.

  8. Fucking mountain lions.

    Wait – we don’t have those here.

    Falcons? Eagles? Foxes?

    Wolves probably. I’ve seen “New Moon”.

  9. A small dog clothing store, naturally.

    I’m going to write a blog post about why you still answer your telephone.

  10. Also I was working the information desk at Borders once, and my co-worker answered the desk phone. (We had no choice. We were paid to do it.)

    He said, “No. No. No, we don’t carry those. No. NO, we do not carry miniature chairs,” and hung up.

    That just seemed relevant to the conversation.

  11. I got it too. Hung up on them. I don’t have a small dog but I do have a small child who is acting like one.

  12. Do you like sponges?

  13. smart aleck says:

    I’m guessing it was related to Pedigree dog food–they’re always on their high horse about how their food is only for petite, rich dogs (have you SEEN the clothes they wear in the commercials? they’re not shopping at Old Navy and Target for their things)…

    And if that’s the crap that makes my neighbor’s little yapper bounce off the walls, I thank God that the airport dogs aren’t on the stuff–my suitcase would get humped and torn to shreds–and not because I was hiding anything, either!

  14. smart aleck says:

    WAIT–now I know.

    Elle Woods is running for office.

  15. Do you have a large fish?

  16. I don’t know about any of this telemarketing dog business, but I really really want the dog in the picture. Teeny tiny cuteness.

  17. An automated voice? That’s just weird.

    I don’t own a home phone. I got so tired of telemarketers being the only ones calling me.

  18. I live in the Northwwest and have had three “small dog” queries. Wonder if this stuff is only going on in the Seattle area.

  19. When they called me I told them “yes” and they said “Please, for the love of god, don’t carry it around in a bag.” And then they hung up.

    I thought it was a considerate public service.

  20. smart aleck says:

    Not sure if it’s me or not, but when I have visited your site this week, every time I get a request to answer a survey.

  21. My caller asked me if I ate small dogs. We talk for awhile. i guess I passed?

  22. I live in NY and got the same call 2x. The first one scared my daughter and I as we own a small dog!

    We got some of the contact info: Coeur MD Allen with a (210) prefix. Next time I will take down the whole number before I pick up the phone.

    It was survey #2010 “Do you own a small dog?”. I didn’t say anything and they did NOT hang up. I had to.

    I don’t trust these scammers.


  23. Jimmy Finger says:

    I live in the Memphis, Tennessee area and I have been getting the voice of a man saying “do you own a small dog?”
    I have answered the call with “yes I do”
    several times and they just hang up. They have been calling for about two weeks two or three times a day. I’m tired of it!!!!! Jimmy

  24. Phila. area – They have called my house, and my elderly mother’s house over and over. They leave a message on the machine – “Do you own a small dog?” and then hang up. I tried answering once and said “NO”, and they hung up. My elderly mother answered and said “Yes” – then they hung up. The voice is scary??? What the hell do they want???

  25. The Great Gak says:

    The calls are part of a scam to get your voice recorded saying “yes,” after which they change your long distance service or do some other nefarious thing.

  26. Oh thank God they haven’t reached my daughter, because she would start crying and say, “No, because Daddy won’t let us…. WAAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAAAAH!”

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