Bus Wrecks

I was in a bus accident yesterday.

I was looking out of my window and I said to Gabe “That guy is totally going to hit us.”

Then he did.

I suppose accident is overstating what happened. I mean it was a crash, but it was an extraordinarily low speed collision.

Our bus was stopped and waiting in line to pay a toll and a moron in a Ford Explorer that was trying to edge his way in front of us must not have noticed that we were not moving at all and he sideswiped a completely stationary bus.

It occurs to me that this was the third time that I have been in a bus that was hit by another vehicle.

The first time I was in Jr. High and I was riding school bus to school and the school bus behind us (filled with friends from the same school) rear ended us.south-park-bus

Nobody was seriously injured, but a lot of stupid sixth graders acted like they had whiplash to get out of social studies.

I wasn’t one of them. I liked social studies.

The second time I was in a bus wreck I was on a choir trip to Chicago. We were in rush hour traffic and a car that was trying to edge its way into our lane side swiped out tour bus.

It was almost as sad as yesterday.

But yesterday our bus was stopped. We were at a complete standstill. He didn’t even hit the front corner of the bus. He hit the side. I mean this was a sizable vehicle. How did he not see it?

Or was he just such a dick that he assumed the bus would somehow back up quickly to let him in because he “meant it”?


I’m glad I am not the bus driver. Sure, the guy who hit us was at fault, but now this driver will have to explain to his boss that some jerk hit a bus full of paying customers because our driver was in too big of a hurry to let in one more car.

Nobody got hurt, but the Explorer lost a side mirror and hopefully both drivers feel bad about themselves.

There are two morals to this story.

1) Just let the damn car cut in front of you. Is it really worth all that paperwork?


2) Don’t ride in a bus with me.

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  1. The wheels on the bus go round and round. Except when Sarah’s on it, in which case the wheels on the bus go crash damn fuck.

  2. Jesus, do people really not yield to the more enormous vehicle? Because that is totally what I do. (Even when I drove a minivan, as opposed to my current Corolla.)

  3. I’m thinking I won’t take the Metro with you either, just to be safe. Yikes.

  4. smart aleck says:

    Maybe that was the last one–bad events come in threes…

    I think this is why we don’t have flying cars yet–I’m sure the technology exists, but idiots in smart car sized flying cars would try to cut off the 747s…

    Can you imagine the under or over version of a sideswipe?

    But the ambulance chaser ads would be amusing…

  5. Nothing much good comes from buses.

  6. That’s so weird — whenever I’M on a bus, there’s always some crazy dude who plants a bomb on it that’s set to explode if the bus slows to below 55 mph.

    Seriously. I can’t tell you how many times.

  7. This happened to me. Yesterday. I missed my appointment because the transit people had to send out a replacement bus, in case the mini that hit us did irreparable damage. The bus was fine, as were we.

    It did damage alright, to the stupid mini… Karma for not following the rule we have here that you YiELD to a bus- always!

  8. I appreciate the tip! I’ll likely stay out of planes and trains with you inside as well, just to be safe.

  9. Both good life lessons. 😉

    How does one not see a giant bus?

  10. I simply cannot fathom how someone could miss seeing a bus. I used to joke that I had ‘Walk here’ tatooed on my forehead in UV but I think that you have me beat. You are the incarnation of Murphy’s Law for public transportation.

  11. smart aleck says:

    I received this letter in the mail today–I think it was supposed to be mailed to you instead, so I’ll just reiterate the contents here…

    “Dear Sarah of the Goon Squad,
    Enclosed you will find a check for $10,000. Consider it a lifetime stipend for public transportation, i.e. cabs, trolleys, trains, horse drawn carriages, rickshaws, etc. Anything but buses.

    We repeat, anything but buses.

    With love and respect and fear for our lives,
    National Coalition of Bus Drivers”

  12. Jesus, sarah!

  13. That is kind of scary! There are seriously people out there that do not need to drive! Completely at a standstill and he still kept coming. AMAZING!

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